Is this the real life? Is this just fantasy?

10 (August 13th, 1975)

BRIAN'S POV

It was past 12 already and I was still in Roger's room.
He was undressed by now, just wearing his boxer shorts and a t-shirt that was at least two sizes too big for him.
He had also brushed - or at least attempted to brush his teeth properly and now he was staggering towards his bed.

He let himself spill down next to me as I was sitting on the edge on the bed. He leaned his head against my shoulder and gripped onto my arm.
I looked at him.
He seemed to be thinking about something.
"What are you thinking about?" I asked and suddenly he started sniffling.
He rubbed his hand over his eyes but I could clearly see that he was about to cry.

For a moment I didn't know what to do.
Then I raised his chin gently with my index finger and looked into his eyes.
"Wh- What's wrong, Roggie?" I asked carefully and the blonde boy covered his face with his hands, starting to sob silently.
My heart broke as I heard Roger crying and I didn't even think about anything as I pulled his fragile body towards me and wrapped my slender arms around him, one hand on his head, pushing his face into my chest, the other on his back.
I felt him burying his face into my chest, his tears drenching my shirt. He was shaking a little.

I rubbed his back gently as I looked down at him concerned.
"Roger, why are you crying?" I whispered again and after about two more minutes of silence he pulled away from my chest and looked into my eyes.
"I- I don't know.. I... I just feel so bad right now. I'm sorry" He sniffled and wiped a few tears off his cheek, then he continued: "I- I need to tell you something, Brian, I really need to tell you something important but I can't...!"

I stared at him with surprise on my face and I didn't know what to say. Instead I just raised an eyebrow in confusion.
"What? What do you want to tell me?" I asked carefully, wiping a strand of hair out of Roger's face as I could see that it was bothering him.
He was so beautiful, I couldn't keep my eyes off of him.

ROGER'S POV

For some stupid reason I just couldn't stop crying like a baby. My head ached really bad, as well as my whole body. I felt nausea overwhelming me every few minutes. I was trying to pull myself together but that was just too difficult at the moment.

Some tears escaped my eyes again as I wanted to tell Brian that I liked him but I couldn't.
I was too afraid.
What if he would hate me for it? What if he wanted to keep distance afterwards? For sure he would think differently, even if he didn't want to admit it.
And I wasn't sure about my own reaction either. Would I hate him for not liking me back? Would I fall into depression? Would everything end?
My thoughts were overwhelming me, I couldn't think straight at all and I could hear myself sob. I covered my mouth with my hands in embarrassment. I just couldn't control what I was doing. My body was shaking as I covered my face with my hands and let my upper body sink onto the bed, sighing.
Everything hurt and I just wanted to disappear at that very moment.

That was really embarrassing especially right next to Brian...
Being drunk was usually a fun experience for me but this time it was different. Much different.
I never cried before while being drunk. At least I couldn't remember.
This time, however, I was just overwhelmed by my long hidden feelings for my best friend and by the alcohol, of course.

BRIAN'S POV

I didn't know what to do or what to say as I was staring at Roger lying on his bed all curled up, trembling.
I felt so so sorry for him and I couldn't stand it. I couldn't stand that he had to go through this.
Well, it was his fault. But still, I didn't want him to feel that way.
I crawled next to him and hugged him again. Maybe it would help a little if he felt a friend's love.

"Is it because of that person you like?" I shared my assumption. "Does that person not like you back?"
I decided to be straight forward and if he told me that my guess was right, I would tell him that I loved him and maybe it would make him feel better. At least that was my plan.
He was drunk anyways so what exactly did I even have to lose?