DAMAGED •• YunJae•• DB5K

Chapter Thirty Five

  Jae laid on the couch trying his best to control the anxiety that was building up inside of him. Yunho had thrown him out of the master bedroom after Jae's third attempt to seduce him in order to distract him from getting ready and leaving.

Jae has been successful on his first two attempts, but in the end Yunho would not or could not forget his responsibilities. Jae tried to calm his racing heart by repeating over and over in his head that Yunho loved him. There was no doubting that Yunho loved him and he tried to find strength in that knowledge.

"He loves me. I love him. We both have careers that we must get back to. Our separation will not be..." Jae stopped his pep talk to himself when Jiji jumped up on his chest surprising Jae. "Have you confused me with somebody else?" Jae asked his temperamental cat as he reached up and scratched behind Jiji's ears.

"Or are you trying to sweet talk me into letting you live with him? Not going to work. If I can't live with him then you can't either," Jae told the cat.

"Then I will just have to visit," Yunho said, stepping out of the master bedroom.

Jae eyed Yunho, who was wearing jeans and black jacket, hungrily. "Come here."

"No."

"Please," Jae beckoned, reaching out his hands.

Yunho smiled down at his lover who was looking up at him with lustful eyes. "For some reason I don't trust you. They will be here any minute for me."

Jae sat up at the side of the couch. "I hate them."

"They are probably just sending a poor driver but..." Yunho said as he looked out the window. "I just don't know why Changmin couldn't come and get me."

"They are evil who knows how they think. Taking you from me," Jae pouted, standing up.

"None of that," Yunho told Jae, shaking his head.

"You are wearing my jacket," Jae pointed out, walking up to Yunho and touching the black jacket. "That's sexy. You are sexy."

Yunho took Jae's hand that was running up and down the jacket. "Since I'm going straight to the office I thought I should look decent. I am glad you packed at least one pair of jeans for me."

"Are you sure you should be wearing them?" Jae asked as he slid a hand between the jeans and Yunho's skin at the waist. "Well, they are loose so I guess it's okay."

"Jae..." Yunho said, pulling the hand out that had slipped inside his briefs to fondle his cock.

"What? I was just concerned for your stomach. You did just recently have surgery," Jae said, smiling up at Yunho innocently. Yunho had both of Jae's hands in his now holding them.

"I think it's healed perfectly, because if it wasn't we would have busted it open nine days ago," Yunho told Jae, as he engulfed the other man in a tight hug.

"I love you...so much," Jae declared, as he hugged Yunho tightly in response.

"I love you too. You have to remember that, and not think crazy things."

"I know."

"I will try not to think crazy things either. We are never farther apart than a phone call away," Yunho said, while breathing in the scent of Jae.

"You need to know I will visit your place. I know I can't live with you and Changmin, but..."

"You can visit, stay the night, and I will..."

"Come to my place too."

"Yes."

"Just it won't be all the time. It's going to be so strange to get used to. I have never had you as mine when I didn't have you all the time," Jae said, pulling away enough from the hug to look into Yunho's eyes.

Yunho looked back at him seriously. "It's all we got, unless you want to take my mother up on her offer."

Jae laughed at him and gave him a quick kiss on the lips. "I think I will try this first before I blow my life apart."

"Okay," Yunho told him, nodding his head.

"Okay," Jae repeated back to him, before he leaned in for another kiss. Yunho met him half way and the kiss was long and lingering. It was full of warmth, promise and love.

A knock on the door ended the kiss as Yunho pulled away, causing Jae to close his eyes and sigh loudly. "Okay. I have everything packed up."

Jae took a step back and found Yunho's cane and handed it to him. "You call me as soon as you can."

"Of course but..."

"But what?"

"I can't be calling you a hundred times a day."

"I know that. I am a very successful star...there are many things that I have to attend to. I can't be talking to you a hundred times a day either," Jae said, swallowing deeply and grabbing Yunho's bag. "Fifty times is more than sufficient."

Yunho smiled walking toward the door. "As long as you are being reasonable."

Jae hurried and stood between Yunho and the door. "Yunho, seriously you have to call me before you go to bed at night."

"Deal."

"Also so help me God if I see them working you too hard...if I see you looking like a skeleton or so tired your words start slurring. I will do something drastic. They can't control me!"

"Nobody can," Yunho said, walking up close to Jae and giving him a kiss on the forehead.

"I am serious."

"I know you are."

"You just look so perfect now, and I don't want to see you sick again...ever," Jae said, grabbing Yunho for a tight hug.

"Believe me, I have no desire to ever be sick again," Yunho promised, hugging Jae back. "I have to go now."

"I know," Jae told him not loosening his hold on him.

Yunho pulled away from Jae. "Thank you."

"For great sex?" Jae asked taking a step back.

Yunho laughed. "For great sex and for everything else...like you know my life."

Jae stepped in front of Yunho and opened the door. "You have to go now before I do something crazy like kidnap you."

"Have I told you how proud I am of you for not..." Yunho stopped as the door opened and a chauffeur in formal attire stood waiting on the porch.

"Mr. Jung, my name is Jim. I will be your chauffer. Lee Soo Man awaits you," the chauffeur told Yunho after bowing and pointing his hand towards the large, black stretch Limo that waited in the drive way.

"Fuck..." Jae gasped, as he took in the sight in front of him. Jae could not believe that the man himself had come to pick up Yunho. Lay his claim on Yunho, Jae thought bitterly.

"I will take these," the chauffeur told Jae as he took Yunho's bags from him.

"Hmmm...talk to you later," Yunho told Jae, while trying to get his nerves up to approach the most powerful man he knew.

"Mr. Jung, do you require assistance down the stairs?" the chauffeur asked, reaching out an arm for Yunho.

"I got him," Jae snapped, as he grabbed Yunho's arm and started helping him down the porch as he tried not to hyperventilate.

"Deep, slow breaths, Jae," Yunho whispered as they reached the ground. "I will be okay."

Jae took a deep breath. "That's easy for you to say. You are not about to hand the love of your life over to the devil."

"Jae!" Yunho chastised, giving the chauffeur an uncomfortable look.

The chauffer just smiled at him and walked toward the limo, motioning for Yunho to follow.

"I will talk to you later. Everything will be fine," Yunho told Jae, but deep inside he had a feeling everything was about to change.

Jae squeezed Yunho's hand tightly before the other man pulled his hand away. "I hope so. Call me as soon as you can."

"I will," Yunho told him, giving him a reassuring smile as he turned and walked toward the limo.

Jae's heart raced as he watched the chauffeur open a door for Yunho and then watched as Yunho entered the lion's den.



*******************

"Hello, U-Know," Lee Soo Man greeted Yunho, as the younger man sat down in the seat opposite of the older man.

"Sir," Yunho replied, still thrown off guard by the fact that the founder and main share holder of SM Entertainment had picked him up.

"How are you feeling?" The older man asked, studying Yunho closely.

"Good...I'm very well," Yunho said, trying not to stare at the man who looked very different from the last time he had seen him. He had aged many years, and he seemed to have lost a lot of weight.

"That's wonderful news to hear. I have a gift for you," Lee Soo Man told Yunho, as he handed him a long, narrow, exquisitely, wrapped gift box.

"Thank you, Sir," Yunho said, taking the gift from him.

"Open it now."

"Yes, Sir." Yunho answered him. Yunho took his time and carefully unwrapped the gift. To Yunho's surprise, inside the box was a wooden cane.

Lee Soo Man watched as Yunho took the cane from the box. "It may look plain."

"No, Sir," Yunho said, as he admired the cane. "I am very grateful. It's exquisite," Yunho told him, as he studied the hand crafted, wooden cane. It wasn't fancy by any means but it was firm and its dark, red wood gave it a very distinguished look.

"It's hand carved from an ancient tree in America, a redwood tree. The tree was two thousand years old, and stood over three hundred and fifty feet tall when the loggers tore it to the ground killing the magnificent tree that had survived for so many centuries." A look of sympathy flashed in Yunho's eyes causing Lee Soo Man to smile. "Tell me U-Know, would you cut such a tree down?"

Yunho was still admiring the cane, running his hands along it. "For what reason? There would have to be a good reason."

"Just because it was there...just because you could."

"No," Yunho answered honestly.

"As I suspected," Lee Soo Man told him, smiling proudly at the younger man as if he had passed a test.

"I will take good care of it...always," Yunho promised, looking back at the man.

"Hopefully, you will not always be dependent on such things, but if you are may it be there to help you on your journey."

"Thank you, Sir."

"You have been a source of amazement for me. You have warmed my cynical heart. I have not always appreciated you as much as I should have. I favored other disloyal sons over you. Disloyal sons that would destroy everything I built. I must ask your forgiveness for favoring such treacherous souls over you."

Yunho swallowed nervously. "They earned your favor due to their great talent. There is nothing to forgive."

Lee Soo Man's eyes narrowed. "You have forgiven those who abandoned you? Left you exposed to the wrath of fickle, delusional, violent fans. Wasn't there once things you could never forgive?"

"I thought so once, but now I know forgiveness knows no limits."

"Says the man who sleeps with the very one that he vowed never to forgive. The one who vowed to destroy him and everything he loved. What of the others that do not warm your bed, have you forgiven them too?" Lee Soo Man asked, his eye piercing into Yunho.

Yunho fought the urge to squirm under those sharp eyes that seemed to be cutting into his very soul. Yunho took a deep breath and found the strength to stare back at the powerful man unflinchingly. "Yes, I have. I do not agree with their choices, but my anger towards them only harms me."

"And the lovely Hero?"

"I love him. I am sorry if that angers you or disappoints you, but I really can't help it."

"Do you want to help it?"

"No, not anymore. I once thought if I could give him up then I could be normal and..."

"And be the son your father always wanted?" Lee Soo Man interrupted him, the contempt in his voice obvious. "Your father was fool. I knew about you and Hero from the beginning but never did I stand against you. Your father and his stupid pride...how I detest the man."

Yunho blinked, stunned. "My father has always supported you."

"Supported me? How different would everything be at this moment in time if he hadn't put that wedge between you and Hero? Do you think Xiah and Micky would have left SM together? Not very likely. Their families would still be calling for constant meetings and we would be on the twentieth contract revision by now but they would not have left. Hero made them the majority."

"You blame my father."

"Yes, at times. Then at other times I think Micky and Xiah would have left anyway, but it would have been far less affective. I would still have my international rose and the majority of members."

"I don't know what to say."

"Say you agree, because you do. You're no smiling idiot with an empty brain, surely this has crossed your mind before."

"I won't lie. I have often thought this myself," Yunho confirmed, squeezing the cane in his hands. "If I had just defied my father, how different everything would be now...how much unnecessary hurt would never have darkened our lives."

"So tell me U-Know, what path will you take now? Life is too short to be miserable? What has changed since you took a bullet for our Max?"

Yunho looked the powerful man in the eye and told him, "What I believed then I still believe now. I won't abandon my promises to you or the company."

"Even if I gave you my blessing?" Lee Soo Man asked, causing Yunho's eyes to widen.

"I won't lie and say I never felt like running away from my duties. When I was still at Clear Creek I had this idea that I could go to this clinic in America that specialized in the rehab programs I need to regain the fine motor skills in my right arm and leg," Yunho explained, holding up his right arm. "The right side is basically useless to me. I can walk but dancing is nothing more than a memory to me. I was even trying to learn English...so I could go there," Yunho confessed all to his mentor.

"And you have given up this dream now?"

"Jae and I had not gotten back together then...I thought leaving him was a possibility. Now I know it's not."

"He wouldn't go with you?" Lee Soo Man asked, arching his eyebrows.

"He is not ready to come out. He wants us to be together but he wants for the lies to continue. He will not sacrifice his celebrity."

"U-Know, are you ready to come out to the world?" Lee Soo Man asked, unable to hide the surprise from his face.

Yunho sighed and spoke a truth to Lee Soo Man that he hadn't admitted to anybody, "Yes, I think so. I know why I can't but I hate the lies so much. I did not come back from certain death to live a life of lies. My mom offered to take me and Jae with her back to California and I wanted to go."

"Go on."

"For a moment I just thought of what it would be like to not live a lie. To not have to hide away...but that dream of mine is much too selfish."

"Selfish?"

"What would it do to Changmin? To my blood family. To my SM family. Even my desire to tell the truth is selfish of me. And let's not forget that most importantly Jae is not a willing participate in this truth telling of mine."

"I must admit that I find it rather shocking that it's you who wants to come out...I had always envisioned it the other way around," Lee Soo Man informed him, as he reached for a bottle of water from the limo bar.

"It's just a selfish whim of mine that I would never follow through on. I would forfeit both our careers and be dependent upon my mother in a strange country," Yunho explained.

"Hero should be well off financially and more than capable of running off with you, well if he hasn't blown his fortune on all his greedy family members," Lee Soo Man said, taking a sip of water.

"I think he's doing just fine."

"For how long? Those three will be bled dry by their families in no time. I know. I have had their families snipping and nipping at me for years. Make this son famous too. Loan me this. Invest in this business. I thought to teach their families a lesson and instead I was the one taught a brutal lesson of betrayal. I was labeled a monster to be hated by millions." Lee Soo Man said this with a softer voice as a look of pain played out across his aged face.

Yunho stared at Lee Soo Man who looked defeated. He didn't know what to say. "Which wasn't entirely fair, you weren't even CEO..."

Lee Soo Man interrupted with a biter laugh. "This is my company. I know everything that happens. The CEO does what I tell him to do. SM is mine. I own the majority of the shares and nobody else. Do not think for a minute that I do not know exactly what goes on. The fault of losing my greatest creation is mine and mine alone. It has weighed heavily upon me."

"Sir, I understand what you feel. I felt it for so long. The loss of Dong Bang Shin Ki as five of us was worse than even being shot...even worse than the recovery. It drove me to such a dark place...a place of rage, self pity, lies, and sadness," Yunho tried to explain to the man in a calm tone.

"And yet you forgave them," the older man stated, as he reached into his pocket and pulled out a pill bottle.

Yunho eyed him carefully. There was something almost fragile about the man now. "There is much to forgive on both sides. I haven't spoken with Yoochun but I'm willing to. I have a kind of peace with Junsu and we both know how I feel about Jae."

Lee Soo Man popped a pill into his mouth and followed it with a drink of water. "And tell me U-know, did forgiving them make your burden lighter?"

"Yes. I will always miss the old Dong Bang Shin Ki. It was more than a name, it was the five of us with a shared dream and a dedicated fandom supporting us. We all failed that dream and as soon as we all realize that maybe something can be salvaged," Yunho admitted, as he watched Lee Soo Man who looked paler than he had when Yunho had first gotten in the limo.

"Salvaged friendship?"

"Yes, that would be more than enough for me...that would be everything to me."

Lee Soo Man's eyes softened as he smiled at Yunho. "Yes, friendship would mean more to you...the young man who took a bullet for a friend."

"Are you okay, Sir?" Yunho asked his mentor who did not look well.

"No, I am not. I am not as forgiving as you. I hold my hate close. I had every intention of destroying the three of them if you had died. I would have allowed for Taeyeon's hurt to slip out on a public broadcast and I would have allowed for some most revealing photos and footage of Hero to be released...and so much more."

Yunho swallowed and voiced a fear he had always had. "If I had left with them, then..."

Lee Soo Man closed his eyes. "I would have crushed you and Hero and the whole world would know of your relationship. You two were not very discreet. You were trusting of managers that I controlled. I have others that are much more discreet but they have the advantage of yours and others wise council, don't they?"

"I am lucky I decided to stay," Yunho told him tactfully, avoiding the latter part of Lee Soo Man's words. He fought down his nerves, determined to give nothing away of Kyuhyun and Ryeowook.

"No, you are loyal. You are loyal...and maybe smarter than even you realize, but most importantly you are good. Good to the core. Your goodness shall be rewarded."

"Rewarded?"

Lee Soo Man reached beside him and picked up a brown envelope and handed it to Yunho. "All it requires is your signature and twelve percent of my shares of SM go to you."

"What!" Yunho said, raising his voice in disbelief as he took the envelope from the older man. "Why? Why would you..."

"Because of your goodness and your ability to survive against all odds, I lack those abilities but it does not mean that I do not admire them in you. I have no family that I would entrust my company to. I don't even trust myself with it anymore, but I do trust you," Lee Soo Man said, smiling sincerely as he watched Yunho's disbelief.

"But...I thought I was supposed to have a comeback with Changmin...not become a shareholder...a big shareholder."

"A very big shareholder and you can still have your comeback with Max. I suggest you only show these papers to your very clever, lawyer mother...the rest of the world can find out when you are ready to tell them you're my heir," Lee Soo Man said, delighting in Yunho's look of awe.

"Your heir?"

"I fear the hate I hold close to my heart has turned me cancerous. Pancreatic cancer to be precise. My life is ending, but I am going to make sure you never want for anything, my most treasured boy."

A sadness broke out on Yunho's face as suddenly the change in Lee Soo Man became clear to him. "I am so sorry."

The older man smiled at him. "I know you are. This is why I chose you."

"I don't understand why. The company's image..."

"Was saved the moment you took a bullet for Max. We might have been powerful but our image had suffered and then you went and showed the world the real meaning of family...of love and brotherhood."

"If I own major shares in SM and it comes out that I am gay, then that could hurt the company."

Lee Soo Man laughed at Yunho. "You are untouchable at this moment in time. I see it lasting for years and years. The voice of the lover that you had given up for the sake of your family awoke you from certain death. Even the most racist, cold, homophobic heart could not help but be touched by such a tale."

"I cannot possibly accept..."

"You can and you will. You are going to take these shares and you can tell the world or keep it to yourself. You can still have your comeback with Max. The managers have no need to know that you are one of their new employers."

"So I would be a silent shareholder?"

"If that is your wish, I will continue voting for you till the time of my death or till I am too sick to attend meetings. My wish is for you to go to those meetings and be the voice for all your fellow idols. I think we can only benefit from your insights...I see positive change in the future at your hands. U-know, you are a smart man. Use those brains that God gifted you with."

Yunho brightened. "I could help a lot of people."

"Limited help, there are many provisions in that contract that prevent you from giving my life's work away to the first charity that moves you," Lee Soo Man said with a smirk.

"I wouldn't do that." Yunho claimed, but looking successfully abashed.

"Yes, you would," Lee Soo Man told him with a smile. "You will be richer and more powerful than anybody else you know. You can go to America and reclaim your right side, you can proclaim your love to Hero on national television, or you can pretend as if nothing has changed. The world is yours to do with as you please. I never want you to answer to any man. Men shall answer to you."



**********************



"Hyung, it's okay," Changmin said, with one arm wrapped around Yunho as the other man couldn't stop crying.

Yunho took a deep breath in and struggled to control his emotions and failed as more tears rolled down his cheeks. "I am just so touched."

"It's nothing compared to what you did for me...nothing," Changmin told the sobbing older man as he tightened his arm around him. They were inside a SM studio where Changmin had just played for Yunho the song he had written for him.

"It's just so beautiful. I don't deserve such a song," Yunho told Changmin, pulling him in for a tight hug.

"You took a bullet for me...you deserve so much more," Changmin said, trying not to let the other man's emotions get to him.


"He would never allow anybody to listen to it. We wanted to release it but he refused to make a profit from it," the producer told Yunho proudly.


"He is never going to make it through his Welcome Back party," the manager who was leaning against the wall told him, chuckling at Yunho's emotional state.


"No, I am okay," Yunho said, breaking away from Changmin. "It's just...I don't deserve you," Yunho told Changmin, reaching for his hand and grasping it tightly.


"It is a song of thanks to you...you who almost died for me. You deserve so much more," Changmin said, smiling at the other man, his eyes dangerously wet looking.


Yunho smiled at Changmin and the other two men in the room. "I am so glad to be back."

"We are glad to have you back," the other three said at the same time causing them to turn and look at each other.

Yunho smiled at the three men. "I am going to be fine at my Welcome Home Party. I will be...when is it?"

"This evening at your favorite restaurant that is totally closed to everybody but us...and well about two hundred other SM Family members," the manager told him.

"Do I have to give a speech?" Yunho asked, fearfully. He suddenly had a fear of slurred words.

"No, you just have to smile and hug people," Changmin told him, as he squeezed the other man's hand.

"Well smiling and hugging are two things I excel at," Yunho told them, as he wiped his nose trying to control his emotions that were overwhelming him.

"Your greatest skills," Changmin agreed, as he watched Yunho struggle to overcome his emotions.

"Well I am very..." Yunho was interrupted as his phone started ringing. Yunho grabbed his phone and flashed Changmin a look of warning.

Changmin nodding his head in understanding, turned to look at the manager and the producer and asked, "Do you two mind giving us some privacy?"

"Okay," the manager answered, after sharing a look with the producer then they both walked out of the room.

"Hey," Yunho said as he answered the phone after clearing his throat. "Yes...no bloodshed...he just wanted to welcome me back...what...that's Changmin's fault...yes, he made me cry...he wrote me the most beautiful song...I know you have...yes, I am going to listen to them...his was a song of thanks...touched my soul...where are you...good...you shall have happy fans tonight...me...I have a huge Welcome Home Party that I have to attend...Jae we talked about this...just a couple of days...I know...I haven't seen the new place yet...when would I have seen it..."

"We are supposed to be going over ideas for our new album, Yunho," Changmin told Yunho, slightly annoyed. "You just left him."

"Changmin is getting snotty with me...I know...need to be working...you know I hate to text...because I sucked at it before and now I really suck at it...okay yes or no texts...okay...I love you...you better...talk with you later," Yunho told Jae, hanging up the phone.

"Why did he ask about bloodshed?" Changmin asked curiously after Yunho hung up the phone.

Yunho cleared his throat again. "Lee Soo Man is who picked me up today. It was rather startling."

"Wow...to welcome you back?"

"Why else would he pick me up?" Yunho asked back at Changmin as he avoided eye contact.

"Is that all?"

"He gave me a cool cane," Yunho answered honestly, leaving out the part about how he suddenly inherited twelve percent of their company.

"Does he know about you and Jae?" Changmin asked, sensing that Yunho wasn't telling him everything.

"Yeah...he knows."

"And?"

"He isn't going to have me murdered or anything."

"That's good. So he approves?"

"Not exactly, but I kinda have his blessing to do what I want."

"Yunho, so much has changed while you were away...the image of the company is so much improved, and that is thanks to you. He knows this," Changmin explained, as he watched Yunho carefully.

Yunho sighed. "He told me that he didn't always appreciate me like he should have."

"He didn't. None of us did," Changmin told him, with a small smile.

Yunho smiled back at Changmin. "So does this mean you are going to be really nice to me from now on? Clean up my messes?"

"Ha! We have a nice cleaning lady who will be more than happy to clean up your messes."

"But it means more if you clean them up," Yunho teased.

Changmin closed his eyes and shook his head. "I think it's time we get back to work," Changmin told him, as he got up and opened the door signaling for the producer and the manager to return to the studio.