||winter woods|| a therian journal

12/14/18

Oooo new winter theme so fancy 

So I have my math midterm exam in exactly three hours and I should be studying but here I am...

I also recently discovered two new words, wanderlust and hiraeth, and I honestly feel like they both fit me so well

Wanderlust: a strong desire for travel and adventure. This honestly fits so well because of this constant terrible feeling I have that I'm wasting my life. It's just that every day is the exact same. Every single day. Wake up, watch YouTube, pack bag, go to school, boring school day, come home, play on my iPad, have dinner, feed my pets, go to bed. Every single day. What if I'm trapped, what if my whole life goes like this? That's why I feel like I need to get out into the world, discover different cultures, fabulous pieces of nature. Sometimes  I feel kind of selfish for thinking this way, there are so many people in this world in terrible situations with no escape that would do literally anything for my life. Sure, it's plain, but i have to acknowledge that it's also pretty pleasant. Ugh i don't even know anymore

Hiraeth: a welsh word meaning a yearning or deep homesickness for a lost home, maybe one that never was. It's said that this word actually means a lot more than that and can't really be translated. I underlined that phrase because it's so true, sometimes when I'm looking at pictures of nature or listening to certain songs, I'm completely overwhelmed with emotion for the home that i somehow forgot, the forest. You know the chapter about the short vacation I went on? I feel that way about that place too, and I have no idea why. Maybe it was more than the place. Maybe it was looking up and seeing the night sky covered in an array of stars. Maybe it was walking through the woods at night and realizing how lost I was. Maybe it was waking up to the sounds of nature, pure nature, nothing man-made, no human sounds, just nature. I need to return, first to that cabin, and then to my real home. I might have to wait a whole life time to get there, but I will return. 

Ok so now I only have two and a half hours before my exam maybe I should study...