Chapter 20

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A few days after Val's episode I found myself sitting alone out on the porch chair, minding my own business just after dinner. The rest of the family were probably sitting around too, the night was going to be hot, and I was already uncomfortable as it was.

"Leah?" I was brought out of my daydream by Valerie as she stepped out reluctantly from inside. Since her crying episode and breaking my brand new phone she had kept quiet about things, she was up before me and was usually sleeping before I was. I didn't mind; it was nice and peaceful.

"What?" I still hadn't forgiven Val for everything that she'd done so far, but I was willing to work on things if she was.

So when she came and sat beside me I offered a tight smile, I was by no means going to go easy on her, but the fact she hadn't insulted me yet was progress. "I just wanted to say sorry for everything, ya know? And I'll get you a new phone too; mom is going to pick it up tomorrow after school. I know it doesn't make up for everything, but I figured it's a start?" Despite the fact that I wanted to yell at her and give a firm no as my response, I nodded instead. It wasn't anything too eager or open, just a slight nod of my head to let Val know I wasn't against the idea.

Val sat down next to me excitedly; I pulled back a little as she tried to take hold of my hand. There was no way in hell I was letting her in that easy, she could still have ulterior motives, and I wouldn't be the wiser.

"Hold on; we're not best friends. I agreed to work things out, but we're not going to be gossip buddies or anything as childish as that. I'm suspicious of you, and I probably will be for a long while to come so don't think I've just let you off the hook." That took a bit of air out of Val's enthusiasm, and she moved back a little, but the smile was still on her face. I don't know what I found more uncomfortable, her smile or glare.

If I were given a choice I would rather Val were be glaring at me, at least then I could tell what she thought of me.

"Oh...yeah, I know. But we have to start somewhere, don't we? Anyway!" I cut Valerie off before she got ahead of herself again, the way she was talking and the way she was acting was disturbing.

"Hold on! Why are you acting like this all of a sudden? You don't just go from psycho to best friends in two days flat." I'd seen this before, but thankfully it hadn't been aimed at me but rather at another girl in school. She'd been warned but had wanted friends so didn't heed warnings, I, on the other hand, would listen to my warning bells that were ringing loudly in my head as I eyed Val.

"Acting like what? I'm just trying to make friends." The smile didn't falter, and Val tipped her head ever so slightly to the left. Feeling more grossed out then I had after watching the Saw series, I stood from the seat and walked away from her. The fake smile and the phoney tone she was using were unsettling.

It was like she had been brainwashed to befriend me.

"Like you're a Stepford wife! What's changed? Before you wanted to kill me or at the very least do me physical harm. Now you're just sitting there all creepy and batting your eyelashes at me like it's the most normal thing in the world. I said I'd try being friends with you, but if you're going to be a creep, then you can forget it." That seemed to snap Val out of whatever trance she had been in, the smile dropped, and she straightened her neck. Her eyes narrowed a fraction as she looked me up and down from where she sat.

"Maybe some of us are trying to change? I could use the support here!" Change? I don't think Valerie knew what that word truly meant, in the space of a sentence she was back to her old self, and I was glad that she'd snapped out of it.

"Well change then! But don't pretend to change, god that Stepford shit is weird. Just be normal, if you know what that means." I probably shouldn't have made any digs at Valerie, but so far I'd seen psycho, obsessive, needy and fake. It would be nice to be around ordinary people for once; she just seemed like she was starved of attention if only she knew how I'd grown up she might stop acting like she was.

"Of course I know what normal is! I doubt you do! You walk in here like you own the place, with your fancy clothes and exotic looks! No one cares that you were a surfer or that you have nice clothes! You walk around like you have a stick shoved up your butt and that you're way better than everyone else! Well, guess what? You're the same as everyone else." What Valerie said left me short for words, was that how she saw me and how others saw me? I'd never really thought about it; I walked around tall and proud because I never wanted outsiders to see the real me.

Acting like I was better then everyone else thinned out the crowd of prospective friends, it meant I didn't have to fend off so many people, but I guess not that many people in Montana cared what I did in the past?

"So what if I do? You don't know me; you don't know what I've been through! Maybe I walk around with my nose in the air because I don't want people to hurt me! Ever thought about that? You're safe here in your little bubble of a world; I don't have that luxury. Every day I have to go out into the wide world where strangers are flying at you left and right and at the end of the day? I don't get to go home to a mom and dad; I go home to an empty house and a babysitter that would rather be with her own family and not the poor, lonely child." I took a deep breath, all that I had said wasn't supposed to come out in one, bit blather of words but it had, and Valerie seemed to be caught off guard.

For a while Valerie just sat in her chair, processing everything that I had just spilt. Instead of waiting around to see what she would say I turned and stomped off inside, the fact that I was the one finally stomping made me smile a little. But my heart was racing too fast, my mind racing even quicker at the fact that I had accidentally opened up to another human being.

"So that's it? You yell and stomp off? Poor little rich girl, so misunderstood by everyone that you lock yourself away." Despite the fact that I had been quiet since walking into my shared room I still hadn't heard Valerie.

"That's exactly it, poor little rich girl. So rich that no one wants to be friends, such a loser that I had to take up surfing to stop the bullying...so neglected that my mom spends more days away on business then she does at home. You'll never get how I've lived Valerie because you've got it in your head that you have it worse. I'd do anything to have two parents that love me the way yours do; I'd even kill to have siblings. But you know what? I don't, and I've got to live with that, not you. So if you want to keep insulting me then go right ahead, but while I'm here and my dad wants to be part of my life, then I'm going to take it. Because once I'm gone, I guess the contact will be as well." With that, I lay down on my bed, pulled the covers over my head and silently cried myself to sleep.

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