Sweetheart (A Shawn Mendes Love Story)

Chapter 9 - Damn it, Bella

Hey guys! Sorry it's been so long. My computer has a virus -_-
But anyways, here's 9!

Chapter 9

Flashback

"Damn it, Bella, you never want to do anything!" he screamed at me. I was sitting on the couch cowering, my hands shaking and eyes squeezed shut. When he got mad, he got mad. He'd done this so many times before, and I hate to say it, but I was tired of him.

Alex was the nicest guy on the planet, but he was so two faced, I couldn't understand if I loved him for real or not. I loved on half of him to death but the other made me want to throw up in my mouth. This was the hurl side. "Why can't you just respect that I'm uncomfortable?" I asked. It was meant to come out strong and supported but instead it was a whisper and my voice cracked in the middle.

"You're such a PRUDE!" I opened my tear soaked eyes and stared at him. He'd never used a word so bad as stupid to describe me; he knew I was sensitive. My lips parted and I let out an exasperated sigh and pushed myself off the couch with a  last burst of effort.

"I can't deal with you anymore," I cried and ran out of his house.

End of Flashback

"Who's Alex?" Shawn asked. His voice was soft and gentle, whispering the words into my ear delicately. I kept my head on his chest, trying to conceal the tears that slipped down my cheeks. Alex had caused me so much emotional stress and pain. I'd pushed it all away for as long as I could stand, but the memories were flooding my mind now.

"Exboyfriend," I croaked into Shawn's chest and his plaid shirt. His large hand rubbed up and down on my arm and I felt him nod. His lips pressed against my forehead again and I sniffled.

"I understand," he whispered. Against my will, his hands gripped my shoulders and pulled me away from him so he could look in my eyes. The kit-kats were piercing my soul and I was absolutely mesmerized. "You don't have to be sure about your feelings. I understand if you still like this Alex guy... and I'm sorry I threw all of that at you at once. It's my mistake," Shawn said, nodding his head to reassure me. I put my head down a little, just trying to get out of his gaze.

"It's not your fault. And... I really don't want any part of him, but when you kissed me, I couldn't help but remember him." I stopped for a second, taking a deep breath. "I don't know what to tell you, Shawn." I say quietly. I can't stop thinking about Alex but something about Shawn... just feels so right.

When I'm with him it's almost like nothing can touch me. Nothing can hurt me and nothing ever will. Like nothing bad I've ever done matters at all. His arms feel so secure around me and I can't help but feel safe in his embrace. And even though that kiss made me think of some horrible things, his lips felt so good on mine. I love seeing him; I love feeling him.

But what if... what if I'm only feeling this way because I'm having withdrawal from Alex? I could just be feeling really lonely and this is how my mind is coping with the emptiness. Do I still love Alex? I was sure I did the day after I broke up with him. But since then... I thought I was okay without him. Maybe I just miss him a lot. Maybe, maybe...

Shawn sat there looking at me. I didn't know what to say next.

"Bella," he started. "Sweetheart, I'm absolutely sure about what I feel. I really like you. I love being with you, I love being close to you. And... if you're not sure, that's fine. I don't expect to know exactly what you feel about me. Hell, we met yesterday. So, I'll give you time to think about what you feel." His thumb rubbed back and forth on my hand as we spoke. His fingers gripped around mine. I nodded at his words, that being my final answer.

"Shawn! Bella, let's go!" Johnson's voice sounded again throughout the backstage area. I nodded.

"We should go," I said quietly.

"Yeah," Shawn agreed. His rough finger wiped the tears off my cheeks and pulled me up into a standing position. "Let's go." I smiled and squeezed his hand as he pulled me out of the green room and into the main ballroom. The girls screeched as we headed up onto the stage.

I blushed as I heard my name being chanted out across the crowd. My eyes raked the audience, searching for some familiar faces. Jillian was in the front row, a smile broad upon her cheeks. Her eye caught mine and a huge thumbs up was thrown my way from my best friend. I smiled and looked back to the corner where I'd been attacked by the blonde squad.

"Hey guys," Shawn's dreamy voice slurred into the microphone. Applause. "So, I have Bella back with me today... You... as well as I," he smirked in my direction. "Couldn't get enough of her!" The girls all laughed and screamed. "So she's back! And today we're gonna do Hallelujah."

The song blew by. By the second chorus, his eyes were glued to mine, I couldn't look away. When we'd break from singing, I'd see him lick his lips and smile slightly at me. My voice blended with his, adding an edge and harmony to the melody.

***

The rest of the night passed by slowly. Shawn escorted me back to my room like a gentleman. I visited Jillian in her room and went back upstairs. Shawn had left a note on my bed asking if I wanted to spend the night in his room again. I thought about it for a while and decided it couldn't hurt.

So I washed my face, put on my glasses and pajamas as well as braid my hair down my back messily. I grabbed my phone and a room key and headed over to Shawn's room.