THE TRANSFER STUDENT

The Not-Date, Pt. 2

"This! Do you not see it? Everything about today." Yoojung pursed her lips. It was hard to put it all in words. But everything seemed just wrong to her. It felt awkward, it felt abnormal, it just felt... off.

Jimin frowned, putting down the tongs he was holding in his hand. "What's wrong with two friends casually hanging out at a barbecue restaurant? Don't we do this pretty often with Taehyung too?"

"Yeah, you see. It's always been you, Taehyung and I." Yoojung said softly, biting her lower lip, feeling her heart pound against her chest. "Never you and me."

Everything was silent. Yoojung could only hear the pieces of meat sizzling on the grill, waiting for someone to flip them over. But no one did. Yoojung didn't even dare to look at Jimin's face.

But finally Jimin spoke. "But what's wrong with just you and me?"

"Because... everything about this isn't what friends normally do, Jimin. All this - you blowing my hand when it got burnt; you grilling meat for me and not even having a single piece from the start till now - yes, I noticed; the on-going awkward silence I've been desperately trying to get rid off; me being awfully self-conscious about my dressing because you dressed up so nicely - how can this be part of a casual meet-up between two friends?"

Yoojung looked up slowly. Jimin sat there, staring at the pieces of meat that were now burning up on the grill. But neither of them seemed to notice anymore because they were both so caught up in the moment.

Jimin pursed his lips, thinking hard about what to say. Or maybe even what not to say. The silence was almost deafening, when all of a sudden...

"Because it isn't."

~

A few moments of silence ensued after Jimin's shocking confession. Yoojung's eyes widened and jaws dropped. Then laughter ensued... from Yoojung.

"Oh- come on, Jimin." Yoojung chuckled. "Alright, fine. You almost got me there. But don't joke about such things, I've told you-"

"I'm serious." And Jimin did look dead serious.

The laughing ceased. "Wait... really?"

Jimin nodded.

"But... when? Why? How? Jimin, I always thought we were best friends!"

"I don't know-"

"No, Jimin!" Yoojung blurted out, before she could stop herself. Her mind went blank. Her... and Jimin? "No, no, no, no. This can't work out. This will never work out."

Yoojung had never before thought of how she felt towards Jimin. Sure, her heart fluttered here and there because of him, but so did it sometimes because of other guys - Jungkook, Minhyun, Yoongi, even Hoseok - the cool dancer guy in class Yoongi hung out with really often. So she always thought it was normal.

It was... wasn't it?

Being asked out or just talking to someone from the opposite gender would naturally give someone butterflies. That still didn't change the fact that Yoojung had never seen any of them as more than a friend - including Jimin. A date? The sound of that excited her - made her heart flutter - but was she really in love with Jimin, or did she just in love with the idea of being in love with Jimin?

Yoojung herself had no clue.

Since young, she grew up with boys and girls around her. Because her parents were divorced, she never knew what love was. She had seen all her peers - regardless of whether male or female - as... well, equal. She treated all of them the same - as her friends.

As she grew up, Yoojung developed social anxiety and depression. That was what made it hard for her to socialise and not to mention, date - she was terrified whenever a guy approached her asking her out on a "date". It was Jimin, Taehyung and Jungkook who pulled her out of that dark place.

It hadn't been that long since she had recovered fully from that terrible experience, and since then, Yoojung had hardly gone on any dates - this date with Jimin was probably one of her first. Ah... so that was what made her so nervous.

But how could she even have feelings towards this guy who had been by her side for all these 10 years? Was it even possible? If something were to happen, why wouldn't it have happened like... 10 years ago? Why now?

Jimin sighed, not taking Yoojung's response very well. "I knew this would happen. I pondered hard whether I should risk it - but I decided to, and I'm regretting every moment of it. I'm sorry I asked." He hung his head low, so low Yoojung couldn't even see his face.

"No, Jimin, please don't apologise. Look-" Yoojung started, trying hard not to let her voice quiver. "What I mean is... You know - you and I - this will never work out."

"Why not?" Jimin looked up, his brown eyes brimming with hurt, his eyebrows furrowed. "How would you know it wouldn't work out unless you give it a try?"

"Jimin-" Yoojung paused, trying to get rid of that lump in her throat but to no avail. "We've been friends for like... 10 years. If it was just you and me, alright, fine. One day, we break up, relationship's over, friendship's over, goodbye. But it's not just us, Jimin. This concerns 4 - no, now 5 - of us. If we break up, that's the end of F5. Is that really what you want to happen?"

"If that's your concern, I'm really sure there's a way we can-"

"No, Jimin." Yoojung had made up her mind, and no one was going to change it. "No, no, no. We're not going to do this. I love the way things are now, and there's no reason why we should ruin everything just for our own benefit."

"Come on, Yoojung." Jimin sighed. "Just say you don't like me in that way - there's absolutely no need to reject me so nicely."

"You know what?" Yoojung felt blood rushing to her face. "My feelings aren't important at all because we both know that it's never gonna work out between you and me, Jimin. I don't know about you but once I date someone, if we break up, that's it. We're never gonna reconcile ever again, not even as friends."

"But you're depriving us of a chance of working it out! If you really like me - assuming you do - we will have to take this chance. Come on, Yoojung. The Yoojung I know is never this cowardly."

"See? I knew you wouldn't get it. I am totally not being cowardly right now, alright?!" Yoojung started to raise her voice, even though she herself didn't know why she was getting so upset. Perhaps it was something that Jimin said that triggered some sort of defensive mechanism in her. "You are the one being unreasonable. You don't understand my ideology - fine. I don't give a crap. But don't you dare call me cowardly, because I-"

Yoojung was interrupted by Jimin's sudden motion, as he stood up from his seat, his chair scraping against the parquet flooring. "You said you can't be friends with someone you break up with, didn't you?" Jimin pursed his lips, as tears welled up in his two big brown eyes. "Guess what? I can't be friends with someone who rejects me, so I guess it's over between us."

Jimin hesitated for a bit, as if he knew he was going to regret what he was going to do next. But that didn't stop him from carrying it through.

"Goodbye, Yoojung."

And he walked off.