Forgiven, But Not Forgotten [A Bensler Fan Fic]

Chapter_45

All of my stitches were removed a week after I was released from the hospital. I was still on a 50-pound weight restriction, but that meant I could still pick up the twins and Ellie because none of them weigh even close to 50-pounds.

Elliot and I slept in the same bed and the girls all got used to what was now going to be their new normal and I was thankful for that. Elliot and I could have a happy family with all of his kids and the ones we have created together.

"Are you sure you are ready to go back to work today?" Elliot whispered as we laid together in our bed. The twins were now in their room since they both slept through the night with ease.

"I need to, El. I'm the CO, so it isn't a huge deal." I smiled, as I moved closer to him. I ran my hands over his chest before kissing his lips gently.

"Promise me that you'll be home by five, alright? You need time with us and you need to still get lots of sleep." Elliot spoke, and I nodded. It was amazing that we were back to the spot where we had started after Ellie was born. We were happy and he cared about me. I had never stopped caring about him so that didn't change.

"I promise, El. I'll be home by five and we can eat dinner as a family and then you and I can come up here and sleep for what, 8 hours at the most?" I questioned, and he sighed.

"Oh just leave already."

"I love you too."

<^>

Once I was showered and dressed for work, Elliot and I went downstairs and made breakfast and ate it together. It was nothing fancy, just eggs and toast, but we wanted to spend as much time as possible together so that we never get as uninterested in being married as we had before.

"So,  do you know if the crew got a case while you were gone?" Elliot asked, as he leaned back and took a drink from his mug.

"They refused to tell me anything. They didn't want to stress me out." I sighed.

"They know then, huh?"

"Yup... I wish they didn't but it's hard to hide it from them. It's different with our daughters, none of them would remember that I had been pregnant anyway." I replied. I stood up to take my plate to the sink, but Elliot grabbed my waist and pulled me onto his lap. He started to kiss me, and I was about to the point where I was just going to call into work, but then I knew I couldn't take more time off right now. I wanted to save my vacation and sick days for when I'm really sick and incase Elliot and I wanted to strengthen our relationship anymore and go away for a while.

"Okay, I have to go," I mumbled as Elliot started to kiss his way down my neck.

"No." He replied between kisses.

"We can continue this later, Stabler. I really have to go to work. I am the boss." I spoke, and he groaned as he stopped and looked at me.

"Please let me continue this right now. You can go in a little later." He smiled, and I shook my head.

"No. As much as I want to, I can't. I love you, and the girls will be up soon. Make sure you tell them that I love them."

<^>

When I arrived at the precinct, my squad room was loud and busy. My office light was off, and none of my detectives noticed me. I was thankful for that because then I could get settled in before one of them asks how I'm doing. I snuck past and opened my side office door. I walked in and closed all of the blinds before turning the light on. I looked around for a moment before going over to my desk and pulling the pictures I had put away and I set them back in their spots.

After I filed for divorce I took them all down again because it was too much for me. Having to look at how happy I once was just made the fact that I was getting a divorce and unhappy so much worse.

"You thought you could sneak past me, huh?" Amanda asked, as she quickly came into my office and shut the door behind her so no one else would come in while we were talking.

"I was hoping I was successful, but I'm not a ninja I guess." I smiled, before standing and walking towards my friend. I drew her into a hug before sighing.

"So, was no one CO while I was gone?" I questioned, as we sat down on the couch together.

"Nope. You weren't gone long enough to warrant it I guess. Fin gave us orders but none of us moved in here and tried to steal your throne."

"Oh well, I very much appreciated it." I smiled. We settled into an awkward silence before she turned to look at me.

"How are you holding up?" She whispered.

"I'm doing okay, Rollins. I'm just taking it one day at a time." I replied softly.

"And Elliot? How is he doing?"

"We are both okay. He uh... he has been taking it really hard because the doctor was able to tell the sex of the baby, and we were going to have a son." I breathed.

"Oh-"

"Please don't apologize. No one knew what was happening until it was too late. And our son had no chance. But we will love him because he is our child, even if we never got to meet him."

"I don't know how you can be so strong. Uh, we have a case. And I should go work on it before I start to cry. Settle in and we will fill you in once you are ready." Amanda spoke. She quickly leaned in and hugged me before leaving my office. I stood and walked back over to my desk before sitting down and sighing.

This is what I want to do, and I'm glad that Elliot is now more than willing to support me through it all.

Hey guys! Thanks for reading! Please vote and comment all of your feedback below! :D