Forgiven, But Not Forgotten [A Bensler Fan Fic]

Chapter_28

"Livvie, is Ellie ever gonna be big enough for me to play catch with her?" Eli asked about a month after Elliot and I got married. I was watching him and he got bored quickly after Ellie wanted to just be held by me.

"A few years, bud. She's not even one yet."

"I wish she was older." Eli frowned, as he walked over and climbed onto the couch next to me. He laid his head against Ellie's side as I held her close. I reached out and ran my hands through Eli's hair as he yawned.

"Are you ready to take a nap, Eli?" I asked as I smiled softly. Eli and I got along better than I did with the rest of the kids. When he stays here he sometimes calls me Mommy when he's exhausted and it makes me want to have more kids.

"Yeah, but can I lay in your bed, Livvie? Daddy's pillow is really soft." He yawned, and I laughed softly and nodded.

"Of course, Eli. Let's go."

I stood up and moved Ellie over to one of my hips and then picked up Eli and placed him on my other one. Eli shoved his thumb into his mouth as I headed upstairs, and his eyes grew too heavy for him to keep open.

I walked into my bedroom and lowered Eli onto the bed before quickly going and laying Ellie down in her crib. I went back into my bedroom to tuck Eli in, but he had already moved up into Elliot's spot and was sleeping with his little arms around Elliot's pillow. At least he can get some sleep because I still haven't managed to sleep as often as I want.

<^>

While I cleaned up the toys that Eli had left out, someone started to pound on my front door. I stood as quickly as I could without falling back down and I walked to the front door. I opened it quickly and stared wide-eyed at Alex.

"What are you doing here, Alex?" I asked, and she sighed.

"I'm tired of not having you around." She spoke, and I frowned.

"I told you all that Casey needs your support. I have my husband for support."

"But it's not the same, Liv. You brought us all together and kept us together. You were the therapist of the group." She sighed.

"And I've made the most problems, Alex. Aren't you supposed to be working or getting drunk at Casey's?"

"Come on, Liv. Come and eat lunch with us."

"I'm watching Eli and Ellie. I can't take him anywhere without Kathy's permission. It's part of the agreement I made with her."

"Then I'll go get them. Please." Alex begged, but I shook my head.

"No. Just go back and hang out with your friends. I'm going to stay here and wait till Eli wakes up and then I'll make him a PB&J sandwich like I have every day for the past two weeks."

"Just get over this, Olivia. Just go and apologize to Casey so we can all be friends again!" Alex exclaimed, and I laughed as I shook my head.

"Do you really think I haven't tried that yet?"

"What?"

"I already apologized for this. Multiply times to be exact. Just go away." I sighed, before going to shut the door.

"You can't give up on her, Liv. You have to be all charming and get her to forgive you before we all start losing each other." Alex frowned.

"I'm not charming. I'm just annoying."

<^>

I called Kathy and asked her if I could take Eli to the park once he woke up. She agreed as long as I took her to the playground at Central Park so that Elliot would be close enough in case anything happened.

When Eli asked for a popsicle, we walked hand in hand over to the ice cream truck and waited in line. We waited for a while before someone called my name. I was getting annoyed by people interrupting me while I'm spending time with my baby and Eli. But this time I turned around to see Amanda standing there instead of Alex.

"Oh geez. What now?" I sighed, and Amanda smiled as she walked towards us.

"Come to Casey's." She spoke, as she reached down and ruffled Eli's curls.

"No, I'm not," I replied, as I reached into my pocket and pulled out a few wrinkled dollars.

"Olivia Margaret Benson!" Amanda exclaimed, which made Eli start laughing.

"You just wait, Stabler. I'll be calling you by your full name the next time you misbehave." I huffed, before pulling gently on one of his blonde curls.

"Oh, come on Livvie!" He laughed as he wrapped his arms around my leg. I looked at Amanda and frowned.

"I'm not going, end of story."

"She is getting better by the day. She's smiling and she's trying to be brave. I just think maybe you could really make her brave. Help her move on."

"Amanda, you know what happened, and I don't think I'll be able to help her at all." I sighed before shifted Ellie onto my other hip. I grabbed Eli's hand as we moved up the line a few more steps.

"You did-"

"I have a very impressional kid right here, and if I want his Mom to let me continue to watch him don't say anything that he'll repeat."

"Casey is your friend, Liv. Eventually, she'll want to be involved in your life again. She adores Ellie, and it's killing her not to be around her."

"Tell her that Elliot will bring her over one night. They seem close."

"You two were close." Amanda sighed. I rolled my eyes as I ordered Eli the popsicle he wanted before paying for it. I took the change and handed my stepson his popsicle before grabbing his free hand and walking towards the bench we had sat on for a while earlier.

"Just drop it, please," I begged. I sat down and sat Ellie on my lap before reaching a hand out to Eli to help him up. Amanda sighed as she turned and walked away, to only return a few moments later with Alex and Casey.

"You gotta be kidding me." Casey sighed, as she crossed her arms over her chest.

"Those two blondes that follow you around did this, I didn't want anything to do with this," I spoke, and Alex sighed.

"You two are gonna talk about this all right now. I'll take Eli and make sure he finishing his treat before he goes back on the swings and Amanda will take Ellie and push her on the swings." Alex spoke before Amanda stepped forward and took Ellie from me. Alex picked Eli up and I sighed as I looked over at Casey.

"You can leave if you want." I sighed, as I tried to not look directly at her.

"They really want us to talk." She groaned as she sat on the far end of the bench.

"We don't have to."

"Maybe we do..."

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