The Hunger Games: Book Four - How it Might Have Been ... Gale.

Page Twenty-Five

Peeta

When I wake, I am not myself.

Yes, it's true, since the Rebellion, I've been a little... weaker, personality wise. My self-restraint is not what it used to be, and sometimes the flashbacks are so vivid, I forget what reality is. I've long thrown away the handcuffs - or so Katniss thinks. They are hidden in our home, back in District Twelve, and I hope I never have to use them again. 

That's if I survive.

I wake to the same blinding light I woke to before, but this time, the illumination seems amplified. Everything surrounding me is magnified to great heights; every angle is sharper, more defined. I have been... enhanced, in a way, but not with my permission.

"Rise and shine, Mr. Mellark," a speaker crackles, and I can almost hear the smirk on the speaker's mouth.

I sit up, even though I did not direct myself to sit up. I thought I was strapped down to the table, like I had been before. My eyes see my body, and I am wearing different clothes. I don't remember changing. Then again, I don't remember anything. Except the mutts. I see now I'm wearing shoes - they are not mangled.

"Seize the day, Mr. Mellark."

My legs swing over the side of the table and suddenly I am standing up in the white lab-type room, staring ahead stoicly. My body is static - my arms at my sides, rigid, like a solider of the Rebellion. But which side am I on?

I realize now that the speaker is commanding me - commanding my body. My own flesh has become traitorous against me, a weapon. Panic begins to trickle through my veins, but I cannot scream, or even clench my teeth. It feels like I am awake during a surgery - I can see everything happening around me, sense it, feel it, but I am paralyzed.

And I am afraid now that the Capitol will use their new weapon for reasons my mind fears.

"Now, Mr. Mellark, are you ready to complete your task?"

I try to shake my head violently - instead, I nod. Bile rises in my throat as I guess my task before it is confirmed. The door ahead opens, and though I want to make a run for it, my body calmly and swiftly marches towards it - towards daylight.

"Kill Katniss Everdeen, Mr. Mellark. And may the odds be ever in your favour."