Benefits

Ch. 80: The Scientist

"Fine." I shortly remark. Silence follows, so I decide to fill it, "And you?"

"I've been okay."

There's no point in being closed off Alice. I remind myself, "I've missed you." I blurt out.

He looks away from me. My eyes stare down at the cement in which I lean into reach my toes. My ears turn red, and I feel embarrassed. I never feel embarrassed.

"Sorry, I just wanted to let you know that-"

"No it's okay." He looks back to me, "I've missed you too." I smile to him slightly, but it drops when I don't get one in return.

"When will we get through this?" My voice soft. I've never been away from Casper longer than two days, and now it's been a few weeks. I don't like the feeling of him not being in my life.

"I don't think we can, Alice." His knees crouch towards his chin, while his arms wrap around them.

I don't think we're going to train today, and I'm okay with that. We can talk all day and all night if he lets me. "Casper you know I still love you."

"Just because you love me doesn't mean you deserve a second chance."

I wince at his words, and I feel my eyes sting. I will not cry.

"See that's your problem Alice. You don't show emotions ever. Just let it out." He notices my holdings of cries.

"No, I don't want you to see me weak. I don't want anyone to see me weak." I bite my lip from tearing up.

"When you found out about that night with Lauren and I-"

"When I found out you slept with her." I grit out.

"Never has been confirmed aside from that blonde bitch, but yes. What did you do? Instead of being angry with me, you decide to bury your feelings and sleep with her in retaliation. When you were hurting so badly because of Ledger; I tried to comfort you in a way I only knew how, yet you only shedded one tear."

He's right about how I hide my emotions, but it's the only way to stay sane. If I were to show every emotion any time, I'd surely break.

"It's not your problem now then is it?" I look down on the floor.

"Alice, come on-"

"No, I'm not going to cry." My voice harsh. "I want you. I love you. What else is there to say."

"An apology."

"I already have multiple times, and you threw me out."

"I'm sorry for how harshly I reacted."

I shrug, "It was expected." The scratches on my knees are healed completely.

"I want to start all over with you, Alice." I blink a few times, awaiting for more. "It's just I need time. A long time to heal." Hope laces through my body, and the fact he's saying he needs time, let's me know he hopes that there will be a future between us. It's just a bump in the rode, "Please don't let me regret it."

"I won't." I softly smile, and this time he rewards me with one.

"Leave me alone Jake. Alice can you take me home?" Dawn approaches Casper and I on the mats, ruining our sweet moment.

"What's going on, hun?" I ask Dawn, her eyes are already in tears.

"Alice stay out of it! Dawn please, you weren't even in the conversation. You don't know what we were even talking about." And of course the most infamous Jake Dennings screwed up once again. It's a family thing.