impossible | barry allen

19

I had already ripped myself out of Barry's hold, seconds after we were the only ones left in the cortex, before he grabbed my forearm again, pulling me back. "Let go of me." I say, my lips pursing, sniffling lightly, wiping my tear.

"What was he talking about, Zee." Barry says, not letting go of my arm. I pull myself out of his grip again, facing him. "I mean, you did hear him right? He basically told you both my entire back story."

"So it is true? Everything- that Dr. Wells just said, was true?" His eyes scan over my face for some sort of sign of confirmation.

"Did you think that it wasn't?" I cross my arms. "I've found it difficult to trust him lately." He says quietly, glancing at the door Dr. Wells and Caitlin had left out of not even ten minutes ago.

"Why's that?" I spoke, trying to avoid the conversation of me having to explain what Dr. Wells confronted me about. Barry lets out a small huff, his hands shoved in his pockets as his gaze lands back on me, "I have reason to believe that he- is the Reverse Flash."

I stare at him, words not even being able to be formed on my tongue, as nothing came out of my mouth. It was almost like I had lost the ability to speak, because of how much confusion and shock had hit me in that moment.

I shook my head and wave the topic off, lightly clearing my throat, "I will not force you to go into depth of that theory of yours because it is quite frankly, none of my business."

We both go silent after that, the silence too strong for us to break. I let out a sigh, then step back, deciding silently that I would just leave. I'm sure Barry had caught what I was planning to do because he speaks right as I took the step back, "No- you can't just leave- we need to talk about this."

"There's nothing to talk about, Barry."

"Yes. Yes there is. You're literally making no sense- how is there not anything to talk about? I just found out that you basically have an entire life that you have kept secret from me, that I could honestly relate to- and there's nothing to talk about?" He calls me out, a hand running through his hair, flashes of hurt and anger in his eyes. He was upset and I couldn't avoid this no matter how much I wanted to.

"Well- you hid about being The Flash from me for months, while basically seeing me as both yourself and the Flash every single day-" I tried but it only made him more upset.

"To keep you safe! I hid my identity from you to keep you safe, and you weren't the only one who I was close to that I hid being the Flash from. There is absolutely no way you can even try to put that into context to use against me in this situation right now. Zee, I told you. You knew. About my father. About my mother. How my father was wrongfully convicted for murdering my mother- and you didn't think for a second that you could tell me about what happened with yours?"

"Barry, I-"

"Save it, okay? I don't wanna hear it right now." He huffs, before walking out of the cortex, leaving me standing there alone, tears in my eyes from what had just happened, guilt just clouding my thoughts.

-

My hands shook slightly as I dialed Iris' number right as my body hits the couch, choking out sobs quietly, sniffling, waiting for the ringing to end, and Iris' voice to fill the line.

"Hey-" she speaks, causing me to immediately let out a held back sob. "Are you okay?" She asks instantly.

"No- no I'm not." I cry out, covering my mouth, holding onto the phone tighter. "I'm coming." And with that. the line goes dead.

I wrap my blanket around my shoulders, crying harder, still seated on my couch in my plaid pajama pants and white t-shirt that I had changed into. The door was opened a few minutes later, and in walked a out of breath Iris West, holding a bag of Big Belly Burger. "I- ran here-" She coughs lightly, trying to catch her breath as she shuts my door and puts the food down, engulfing me in a hug.

I let a few more tears fall as I let go of my blanket and hug her back as tight as I could. She finally catches her breath then speaks, "What's wrong? Talk to me."

I stay quiet for a few minutes, then find the voice to speak, "I've been lying to everyone." I sob quietly.

"Lying about what, Zee?" She rubs my back as she speaks. "I'm not who I say I am." I pull away from her, not bothering to wipe my tears away.

She nods slowly, sitting down next to me. I begin explaining everything to her, tears rolling down my cheeks uncontrollably, my hands running through my hair every now and then. As the story comes to an end, I'm completely breaking down. "And now Barry's upset with me because I didn't tell him about it, regardless of what he went through when he was younger."

She stays silent for a while, staring at nothing, almost deep into thought, but snaps out of it and hugs me, rubbing my back. "I was upset for a second. I thought I didn't even know who you were anymore. But I understand why you didn't tell anyone, and I know that I know who you really are. Not who you were. Barry'll come around. I do think you need to explain everything to him, though." I let out a sob and hug her tight.

Thank god for Iris West.