Take My Hand

Chapter 75

I didn’t sleep well that night; not because I was in bed with someone else, but because my head was spinning, struggling to make a decision. I had to pick a boy soon, or things would keep getting worse. I had already lost one, how many more could I take?

When it came down to it, would I even be able to pick? Or was I hoping that they would all drop out of it like Leo had sort of done, to make it easier.

If they all eliminated themselves, I wouldn’t have to hurt anyone. I sighed loudly. My heart had thawed out, and was actually heating up as a panic began to set in when I realised that I was no better off than the day this whole situation had started. I was much worse off actually. I was no closer to figuring out who I belonged with, and I wasn’t sure if I was ever going to know who was the right choice.

I felt his arms wrap around me tighter. “This isn’t a dream, you actually are here,” he whispered gleefully into my ear.

My heart skipped a beat as I felt his lips press into the back of my neck.

“Do you dream about me often?” I asked in the most seductive voice I could muster.

“Every night,” he said softly back. My heart pounded. The panic was still there, my fight with Leo was still there, this choice wasn’t getting easier, it was getting harder each day, with every choice and mistake I made.

It felt like a wave was about to crash down on me, but I wasn’t going to let it. It could be a problem for another day. Right now I wasn’t going to worry. I knew I may regret it in the morning, another mistake to add to my laundry list of them from the past few weeks. Fuck it.

“What’s wrong love?” he asked.

I rolled over and looked into his blue eyes. “Nothing,” I replied, kissing him as I pushed all thoughts from my head.

I had shocked him. All our memories of our kisses, and there were quite a few, it had never been me on the attack, it had always been him, or it had been provoked. And here I was throwing myself on him.

After the shock wore off he began to kiss me back. He pulled me on top of him and got a hold in my hair. I felt the air heat up; any trace of cold that was left in me from Leo was gone. I let myself get wrapped up in it; he flipped us over so he was on top of me.

“So what brings you to my bed in the middle of the night?” he asked as he kissed down my neck and along my collar bones.

“You don’t think this was a tempting enough reason?” I asked as his lips continued to touch my skin, making me shiver.

“How did you even know it would be an option?”

I smirked at him. “So you don’t want to?” I sat up, pulling myself away from him.

“Oh no, I didn’t say that,” he said, following me. “I just didn’t think it was an option.” He was staring deep into my eyes. In the darkness, his eyes looked more black than blue

“I’m feeling a bit… reckless,” I grinned at him. I saw his eyes spark as I leaned forward and gave him a kiss, slowly sliding my hands down his chest, his stomach. Good thing Lucas slept mostly naked, most of the work was done for me.

I went to kiss him again and saw him bite his lip. I paused.

“Um,” he said, not looking into my eyes. He was putting puzzle pieces together, what I was getting at and what he thought. “That’s not… no Rae, just because, that’s not a good reason.”

I felt as if a bomb had gone off in my body, all major organs shut down. Lungs stopped breathing, heart stopped beating, I felt my stomach drop. “Are you, rejecting me?” I asked.