Take My Hand

Chapter 7

That night had been one of the best nights of my life. Leo and I had just clicked; back then, I hadn’t thought it was in a romantic way. But now knowing how he felt, I could see little things that were there. I hadn’t been looking for it, even considering it so I didn’t see it. But we just fit. Even though I hadn’t known him long I trusted him more than anyone else.

I snapped back into reality and looked up at Leo.

“Are you okay?” he asked, looking concerned.

“Yeah,” I choked out. Then I noticed I had tears in my eyes again.

“What were you thinking about?” he asked quietly, looking down and taking my hand across the table.

“The night I met everyone,” I said. “Looking back now, knowing all this, how could I have not noticed how you felt towards me?”

“You weren’t looking for that out of me. You just needed someone to steady you. And that’s what I was trying to do. I didn’t want to complicate things. It was probably one of the dumbest things I have ever done,” he said.

“Why?” 

“I could have kept you to myself. But I was trying to keep myself from feeling anything towards you. Because you just got out of something and I did not want to be the rebound guy Rae, those never last. I figured with all the other lads, I would be able to keep my feelings in check, and maybe someday down the line, things would turn different for us.”

I closed my eyes for a minute taking a deep breath.

“You have to give everyone a chance…” Leo whispered.

I opened my eyes and stared into his. I could see the hurt in them; it was killing me. 

“If you wanted to be with me, you would have said so by now…”

“Leo…” I choked out.

“Rae, I know you. I know you love me. But I can tell that you’re not in love with me. Maybe you are with one of the other lads and don’t realise it. But you have to take a chance. Of course I wish you would pick me, but you haven’t, so now I have to look out for them, because I love them too. You love them too; they deserve to get a chance.”

“I don’t want to make this decision Leo. I don’t want to make you feel this way. I love you too much.”

Leo shook his head. “Rae you have to. We need you to.”

“I don’t want to hurt anyone. I’ve already hurt you! This is ridiculous, can’t you all just accept that I’m not doing this?”

“We’re all going to get hurt, but we’ll all get through it, and you have to because you’re hurting yourself by not. You love us all, how do you not know if there’s something more there? It’s almost happened before Rae, but you always stopped it. Don’t stop it this time. One of us, you’ll be with us and realise that there is something there.”

“I want it to be you,” I whispered.

His grip tightened on my hand for a split second, then let go. “I want it to be me too… but it’s not.”

I saw his eyes tear up; I immediately jumped out of my chair and ran around the table to him and pulled him up into a hug. I felt a few silent tears fall on my shoulder. 

I let go of him and held his face between my hands. “Leo,” I said as we stared into each other’s eyes.

 Why not give it a shot? A voice in the back of my head said. So without a thought more, I did. I pulled his face down to mine and kissed him.