Take My Hand

Chapter 11

Lucas took the tube home with me later that afternoon, going all the way until my stop. After we said goodbye and I hopped off the train, he stayed on to go over the few stops that brought him to his flat.

I walked up out of the station feeling more relaxed after everything had been so normal with him, loving that I was able to get my mind off the situation for even a few hours.

As I opened the door to my flat, I saw an extra pair of shoes and bag. I had completely forgot that Whitney was waiting for me. I looked around for her only to see that she was passed out on my couch. She woke up when I closed the door.

“I take it things went well?” she asked, yawning.

I shrugged. “I’m not so sure. Things went great with Lucas. The rest of them, however, not so much.”

“What about Leo?”

“Well,” I bit my lip. “I sort of told him that he still had a chance…”

“WHAT?!” She exclaimed, sitting up and staring at me as if I had just told her the impossible had happened.

I proceeded to explain to Whitney exactly what I had told the boys, and how I had ended up spending my day with Lucas. “It was just nice. We didn’t talk about any of this, we were just being our normal selves,” I said.

“Is that a good idea though? I mean, acting like it isn’t going on?”

“I have no idea. And I know it sounds bad but maybe if we act like there aren’t feelings there, they will realise there aren’t any…” I said, not looking at Whitney.

“So you’re just kind of stringing them along until you make up your mind? Rae, you’re going to break these boys’ hearts.”

“I don’t know what else to do! I can’t lose them and I will if I tell them I pick none of them. And I miss them. And I don’t know how I feel, I just want to spend time with them. I love them. I just want things to go back to how they used to be!”

The following Saturday I watched the prerecorded show on TV with the boys at their rental home. It was surreal, seeing them there on the telly and by my side in real life. The boys all sat together on the couch, making jokes and laughing and sharing memories from the days we were watching a montage of. 

Generation X started out the same as any other musical talent show. You auditioned for the judges and if they liked you, they put you through for further tests and talents. They wanted to see if you could dance, if you could work with others; basically they wanted to see how much you could offer. They wanted to see if you could be in a group, be a solo act, be a name that everyone would know. They didn’t want you to just have talent, they wanted you to be the Generation X, the next BIG thing. In most cases, people are put together based on talent and style; a musical duo here, a group here, and in some cases a solo act of someone who really had star-power.

I was sitting in between Declan and Leo, and almost cried when they both came on screen to perform as solo acts. We saw glimpses of the other lads, and towards the end of the show, it began to focus on the five of them a little more.

The cameras then zoomed in to the judges looking at the five boys information, debating about whether or not they had the potential to be the next big thing.

“Personally,” Natalie Pope, a singer-turned judge said, “I don’t think these boys have what it takes alone.”

“Maybe not,” Sasha Howard, the shows producer and main judge was saying, “But are we willing to let them go? They are talented. Extremely talented.”