From: bithor on tumblr
interviewer: we're here with seventeen year old peter parker who fended off thanos earlier today. how did you do it, peter?
peter parker: well, thank ya for askin'. i used the bittenbinder method. when i saw the titan approachin', i chewed up a tab of alka-seltzer i carry with me at all times. this created a foaming-at-the-mouth appearance that made it look like i had rabies. now i've thrown him off his rhythm. then i reach into his jacket pocket where i had planted an infinity stone and i went, 'whoa! what the fuck is this?' and he goes, 'that's not mine. i never seen that before.' i go, 'boo-hoo, it's in your jacket. you're doing two to ten and your kids are going into social services.' now he's cryin'! then i grab an arc reactor and i beat him on the torso with it. 'cause as any avenger will tell ya, an arc reactor doesn't leave bruises.
tony stark, in tears: that's my son
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Incorrect Aavengers Headcanons: Part 1
HumorWellcome to the marvel pit of feelings (tm) we have popcorn on the right and the screaming/crying room on the left. (Some of these come from popular Tv shows, I don't write all of them) ;)
