Barely Legal (Julian Casablancas)

.::Chapter Eight||Holding Out::.

        "Where are you going?" Tiffany spoke at the entrance of the door. The sound of her roommate's voice startled her, causing Janae to drop what was in her hand—a neatly folded shirt that was no longer neatly folded.

"I'm staying with my dad for the weekend. God knows you're gonna have another one of your ridiculous parties again so, I'll just hang out there until it blows over." Janae winked, mocking Tiffany's lack of compassion for her social anxiety.

        "Why are you such a party pooper? Just—take a few shots in here and then come out, you'll be ready to socialize by then." Tiffany smiled wide.

She was nearly ecstatic that Janae was leaving; she hated having to explain that her roommate was a recluse when she emerged from the bedroom to get a bite to eat or use the bathroom. It also meant more eyes would be on her instead.

        As much as Tiffany cared about Janae, she didn't particularly care about the questions regarding her prudish friend. To say that Janae was pretty was an understatement, she was drop-dead gorgeous. Although Tiffany had the body of a runway model, Janae had one straight off of a Maxim cover. She couldn't understand why Janae refused every opposite sex's advances—why she hid such a magnificent figure under all those clothes.

Tiffany chalked it up to Janae being raised by a single father, but disregarded the assumption because she had an older sister—a very wild older sister.

        "Mhm, just like how I would have a good time at Mitchell's party? Yeah—no thanks." Janae rolled her large brown eyes, going back to stuffing her duffle bag.

"It looks like you're packing for more than a weekend..." Tiffany insinuated, peering her head over the overstuffed pile of clothes and toiletries.

        "I may stay the week, I'm not sure yet. Just depends on if my dad is actually tolerable to be around."

"You're such a daddy's girl." Tiffany nudged Janae with her shoulder, mocking the only relationship she had with a man.

"Like I said before, I'm all he's got—it's kind of my responsibility to be a 'daddy's girl'." She noticed her own voice soften; speaking about her father to a girl that had a deadbeat one made things all the more complicated.

She and her father had a strange relationship, but at least she had one with him. It seemed like no one understood the dynamic of her father/daughter relationship, and it was too difficult to try and explain.

Her sister, Holly, had been an outrageous mess. Janae could've easily turned out just like her sister, but instead, trained herself to be a good girl—to do what her father wanted.

Janae never fought with her dad; she listened and did what was expected of her. She rebelled quietly and smart, only partying with friends when she knew there was no chance of getting caught. She didn't want to be another disappointment in her father's eyes—she wanted her father's approval to save him the heartache; god knows he'd been through enough.

        "What's the deal with your sister—have you heard from her?" Tiffany pried, plopping down on the edge of the bed, crossing her legs. Tiffany knew Janae's sister, Holly. She had witnessed some of the fights between her and their father while growing up, when she was actually allowed to spend the night.

        Janae shrugged. "I got a postcard about a month ago. I think she's in California now." She recalled the nonchalant expression her father had on his face when handing Janae her mail. It was obvious he had gone through it, but didn't ask questions—he didn't even mention Holly's name; it was as if her sister's name was forbidden.

It was tough given the circumstances. Janae understood her sister's reasons to leave—she saw her point of view easily, but she also understood where her father was coming from. He only wanted what was best for everyone—Holly wanted what was best for herself. She often considered her sister's decision selfish, but knew she too had been discretely selfish as well. As much as Janae loved her father, she knew he could be overbearing.

        "She's such a bitch."

"Can you blame her?" Janae asked, wanting the question to be rhetorical. Tiffany's eyes rolled, knowing what had ultimately pushed Holly over the edge to leave.

        Janae did not want to turn out like her sister—she recalled watching helplessly from the sidelines as Holly pissed away her dignity, as well as her life. Asshole after asshole waltzed in and out of Holly's life; guys using her to get their 12 minutes worth of a good time. Janae saw every boy's true intention through her sister, which was one of the reasons she stayed away from them. But eventually, Holly's bad taste in guys caught up with her.

When she was just seventeen, she had gotten pregnant. Their father demanded she terminate the pregnancy, or else he would kick her out of the house. Holly obliged reluctantly, but soon after, she left home on her own—never speaking to their father again. She had ran off with the boy who had gotten her pregnant, oblivious if his presence was still in her sister's life.

        "You know, there's this awesome thing called birth control—she should've really looked into it." Tiffany laughed.

        Janae forced a smile, but knew it was too little, too late. Even if Holly had wanted to be thoroughly protected, her father never would've allowed it; his view was simply that his daughters should keep their legs closed, and that, Janae did.

But watching Tiffany live her promiscuous life for six months without consequences, made Janae question if she had been living her own life right. Perhaps there was a way to have fun without upsetting her father—perhaps he had been wrong about the way he had raised his daughters. The guy that had taken her home from Mitchell's party—Julian—he had even called her father an 'asshole' for having a grappling hook in her decision to attend school nearby, instead of going to the college she had wanted. Even now, being a legal adult, her father still had a say in Janae's life.

        "I'm sure you know all about that, huh?" Janae snapped in a murmur, subtlety calling her friend a slut.

"You bet your ass I do. Guys can't be trusted—believe me. Sometimes they don't pull out, even when you tell them to."

"Gross." Janae snarled.

"It is."

"Don't you use condoms? Do you want an STD?"

"Most of the time, yeah—but sometimes... I don't know, it's okay to fuck someone you're in a relationship with without protection."

Janae's brows furrowed, trying to recollect a time Tiffany had a steady boyfriend. "But... you don't have a boyfriend..."

"Well, not right now—I want one, though. It would be nice to find a guy that doesn't just want one thing—a guy that actually wants me for... me."

        What Tiffany said struck a chord—that was precisely what Janae was holding out for.