Barely Legal (Julian Casablancas)

.::Chapter Forty-Five||Mad::.

        Janae's lab work revealed she was suffering from a severely low hemoglobin, dehydration and malnutrition. She was baffled by the works of her own body; learning that (aside from her low iron) her fainting spells were linked to the fact that her blood flow chose her uterus over of her own brain—due to new and expanding blood vessels.

She was put on a drip—a cocktail of fluid with vitamin—then told to promptly find a specialist.  Janae's hCg level sounded different from the result she'd received from planned parenthood, but couldn't recall the exact number.

Despite having to sit in a hospital for four hours, she felt relief—like how it felt after forcing herself to throwing up after realizing she'd drank one too many drinks—that kind of relief.

        Janae tugged and pulled at the white hospital band around her wrist; trying to take it off without Julian noticing her struggle.

        "You wanna get something to eat before we pick up your meds, or...?" Julian asked, watching as Janae grappled with the laminated bracelet—welts already beginning to form on the back of her slender hand.

"I'm not exactly dressed for it." Janae looked down at her sweatpants and combat ankle boots. Though the thought was tempting; maybe if she kept on her patient ID, the patrons would be a little more empathetic—perhaps they wouldn't think she was trying to make a fashion statement.

        "That doesn't matter, I mean... are you up for it? Do you even feel good enough to... walk?" Julian laughed through his nose and mouth, turning his attention back to the road ahead—the traffic.

"Not really. I can walk, I... I kinda just wanna go home."

"Do you want me to drop you off first-"

"No. I... I don't wanna be alone." Janae admitted. It had suddenly become easy to admit such things.

        "I can get Al to come over. I mean... Tiffany kinda made it his job anyway."

"No, I mean... I don't wanna be away from you."

        Julian's eyes shifted to Janae before quickly going back to the stoplight ahead. He pressed his lips together, chastising himself for that burning ache her words had caused to form within the back of his throat.

He swallowed hard before clearing his throat, "Let's pick up your meds and then go back to your place and order something to eat, does that sound okay?"

"Only if you quit asking me if it's okay." Janae flashed a flirtatious smile—Julian doing the same. However, just beneath the surface, Julian was fighting back the urge to have a breakdown.

        He didn't deserve her. She was too understanding—too forgiving—Janae was too perfect. His insecurities were taking the wheel again, causing his thoughts to spin out of control.
        What if she only loved him this much for right now—what if the way she felt about him was only because she was pregnant? His little problems had turned into big problems—big problems he had forced Janae to have a part of.

Julian began to lose faith in himself. What would happen if he fell back into his old ways? Would Janae be just as forgiving with a child involved? What if he couldn't listen to what she had to say—what if he had to turn those problems into secrets?

        "Hey, are you okay?" Janae reached across the center console, placing her hand on his leg.

"Only if you quit asking me—yeah, I'm okay." Julian forced a smile; he didn't realize his emotions had been so transparent. "Is it this CVS?"

"Yeah, I think so."

          Julian turned the corner, quickly doing a shoddy parallel parking job next to the pharmacy.

Janae started out of the car, only to have Julian protest. "No I'll get it—what do I need to do?"

"Nothing, I'll go get it."

"No, I'm not making you walk out in the freezing cold, I'm right here."

          Janae closed her eyes. She placed her hands on her cheeks, sliding down into the seat. There was a reason she didn't want Julian picking up her prescriptions.
        "Please... please let me get it."

"What is it, why don't you want me picking it up? All I need is your name, birthday and insurance card, right? It's Janelle Cox, but watch my dumbass tell them it's Janae." Julian laughed at himself, finding the situation a little comical.

          Janae dug through her purse, finding her insurance card. However, she didn't hand it over to Julian. "You're gonna be mad."

"Mad?" Julian's brows meshed together in confusion. "If this is about money- if the insurance doesn't cover it... I got it. I have almost ten grand saved up, we're good for a while."

Janae's eyes widened. "What? How? What for?"

"Well, it was for music equipment. Speakers... instruments. I already got most of it now though."

"It's not the money, it's... my birthday."

"You think I don't know your birthday?" Julian smirked with narrowed eyes.

Janae cringed; she had lived the lie so long that she had forgotten it was a lie. "I wasn't born in eighty-one..."

        Julian's stomach dropped, his heart began to race as his face flushed. "Please tell me you were born in eighty. Please—tell me you're not... don't say what I think you're trying to say to me right now, don't."

"I'm sorry."

          Tom had changed Janelle's name to Janae; looking back, it was an obvious attempt to evade her mother. He knew that only changing his daughters names wouldn't be enough—so he changed their ages by one year to throw off their mother if she ever got brave enough to look for them.

It wasn't until applying for colleges, when Janae had to provide proof of her identity. When trying to retrieve a copy of her birth certificate from the vital statistics, Janae discovered that she had been a year younger than always believed.

She let Tom know that she knew, and with that, he let her go. She always found a way to bring it up—to smear it in his face every time he treated her like a child, because he had made her an "adult."

        "You're seventeen. Are you fucking with me right now—are you seventeen?" Janae nodded, she was too scared to speak.
        "You lied to me. When I first met you, you told me you'd just turned eighteen—you lied."

"You're mad."

"Yeah, but not for the reasons you'd think."

          Julian was angry by the fact that perhaps he was more like his father than he'd thought. He didn't drop her off in front of an abortion clinic and bail, but he had in fact, knocked up a minor. He was upset by this—upset that Janae lied—but mostly because he had done something his father had done.

"It's not illegal. You're not gonna go to jail or anything-"

"It's the principal of it, Jay... fuck."

        "My dad changed my name and my age, okay. I literally grew up thinking I was a year older than I actually was. Why the fuck do you think he let me move out? It was because I found out about it—I had something over him."

        "Your dad's a real piece of shit."

"Tell me about it."

"I'm gonna tell him about it if I ever fucking see him." Julian snatched the insurance card out of Janae's hand, climbing out the vehicle before slamming the door.