My Dearest Lover [HIATUS]

Chpt #20 My Curse (Edited)

The people I killed...especially the two kidnappers, the mother, the young boy, the homeless man, the merchant would always remind me how dangerous I could be. It always upset me if I think about them. Upset that I have this kind of curse within me.

One in common from all those situations, was when the gang were in danger, I get triggered to my abnormal state. They're strong enough to protect themselves, I know , but when I saw them got hurt by other people, I would remember the past, I'd get headaches, felt as if I was back to the same time with the kidnappers and by the end, I'd wake up aware I killed someone.

I could control myself from turning berserk but it would always be a hard task to do so. To try not to remember, try not to fall unconscious and try not to let the trauma overcome me.

It was terrifying to even know that I could kill in my sleep in any time. It made me cautious, made sure not let the trauma get the better of me. I was scared to think I could kill my love ones without even thinking or realizing it.  

And it happened again, I killed my enemy. You could say I should be happy, but I'm never happy to know I killed someone without even my consciousness. I killed many but I'll never accept once death by my own hands without even thinking it through.

***

I opened my eyes to be in the fields of flowers once again. I was sitting and leaning on a tree. A young man's head was sleeping on my lap as I was playing with his hair.

"You again?" I asked.

"What's wrong with me being with you? " the man answered and looked at me. I still couldn't distinguish his face but I felt safe around him. Though...his presence felt different from before.

"Who are you?"

"I'm the man who will always be by your side," he took hold of my hand on his head.

"But I thought you left me?" I asked.

"I never left you, what are you talking about?" the man sat up and looked at me confused.

Then his face changed to a sadden expression. He reached out his palm and caressed my cheek.

"I'll never leave you?" he said sadly.

I soon then realized I was crying. Tears were bursting out of my eyelids and I hugged the man in front of me unconsciously.

I was crying?

I felt the world around me started to change and when I slowly blinked I found myself alone. My body felt heavy and I fell unto the floor...no, ground...wait I was on a branch.

The scenario was changing and I found myself surrounded by giant trees, and somewhere in the distance I saw four people on a big branch.

Reiner? Ymir? Berthold? Eren? 

What's happening? Wait, they're saying something. Eren was being subdued by Reiner? This must be the time where...

I jolted from bed and I awoken in a panic. I was confused and somewhat irritated in the same time. Am I still dreaming?? I placed my hand on my left chest and felt my heart beating fast. Okay, I'm in reality.

I looked up and tried to readjust my eyes to the darkness. I sat up and groan in fatigue as I tried to move my messy bangs out of my vision. I looked around to see the girls sleeping. Yes, the females and males slept in separate areas. The tower has enough rooms to do so.

It was strangely quiet, so I turned to the end of the room, near the stairs where the one on look out should be stationed. All I saw was Historia leaning on her rifle as she was sleeping.