My Dearest Lover [HIATUS]

Chpt #20 My Curse (Edited)

Louisa's POV~

When I was  9 years old, I got kidnapped, molested and became a murderer. Some say it wasn't my fault, they said it was only self defense...but it was my fault. If I haven't left the house who knows, there could have been another outcome...and self defense? The problem is I couldn't even remember how I killed them.

All in my memories from that moment were when I tried to escape, when they broke my shoulder, when they molested me, when I cried, when  I felt ashamed...then when I felt a rushing power came through my veins and gave me the determination to live. The next thing I knew, I woke up to find a bloody body under me. The two men were stabbed to death by my own hands.

After that day, I knew I became a murderer. I couldn't call it self defense since I couldn't even remember how I killed my victims by the end of the day.

Within the five years after the incident, I accepted the fact I killed someone and I wasn't scared to kill again. I kill for survival and for the better good for me and everyone I care.

I placed my trauma in the past and didn't let it affect my life. I went into a new path and I didn't want it to be in the way. I made a goal to rule over the Criminal world, where not even the Government could fight me.

But I thought my past was done, I thought it was gone and that it will be forgotten. But when I was in the age of 10 and where Schatten Catzen wasn't yet recognized, me and the whole gang were hunting for turfs to steal.

It didn't go well, unfortunately one of the groups were attacked by one of the high ranking gangs. Apparently they accidentally found one of their turfs, so me and my group quickly went to their rescue and when I saw my people's conditions, I suddenly remembered that traumatic memory.

I had glimpses of how I killed my kidnappers, my body froze in fear and my heart started racing. It felt as if I was back in the past. Then I blacked out.

I woke up and I realized I killed, almost all of the men who attacked my group...and a pregnant mother. With the knife on my hand, the blood soaked clothes that I wore and the fact I was on top of her, it was enough to say I was the one who killed her.

But I wasn't aware of it. I was confused and so are my companions who saw it. They asked why I killed her when there was no reason to begin with. But I didn't know why, how or when. I just opened my eyes to find that woman under me.

My companions explained that, I just suddenly started massacring our enemies the moment we got to their marked alley. Unfortunately some of our injured men got caught up with the small stampede. They were shocked when I was about to kill one of my men. Before I could have sliced his throat, someone screamed.

A pregnant woman passed by just when the massacre happened and apparently she got caught with the stampede as well. Just when I was about to kill my friend,  she fell down in front of us and screamed in terror. She caught my attention and she knew that, so she tried running away but ended up killed with my hands.

I couldn't remember it. I have no memory of it, but I knew this situation didn't happened once. Aware that it might happened.  I had to know what really happened and why it happened.

To give you a side note, after that day, the Criminal World shook and everyone were curious, who was behind the death of almost more than 50 men of one Gang of the High Ranking Rulers. Rumors and stories spread through the entire walls. That's when my presence was finally heard.

The gang was more in danger, we became a target for the whole High Ranking Rulers and the Criminal World itself. With us in this situation, my abnormal killing behavior happened a few more times as we were becoming notorious.

We found out that I was in the state of unconsciousness when I killed my victims, as they observed. They said if I was in that state, I would kill anyone that would move and anyone that would dare to touch me. In cases like that my physical strength and senses grew abnormally stronger. It would be a death wish to try and subdue me.