My Dearest Lover [HIATUS]

Chpt # 17 Bitter Sweet

Jack opened the door as he pulls me inside gently. I could walk but in the same time, my legs felt numb. I quietly looked at the dark room as light slowly scattered just as when Jack lit a candle nearby.

Slowly I walked up to the desk that was in the middle of the room. I even needed assistance just to sit on top of it. Jack then looked for the medical kit from the sides.

I looked at my hands that are dyed in blood. My body slightly jolted when I remembered the six people I killed from the past. I curled my hands into a fist and closed my eyes bitterly. I bit my lip in disgrace and bow my head down as I tried to calm down.

I lady like me shouldn't be crying. The Dark Queen of this land can do better than this. I furrow my eyebrows as i shook the bad memories away.

I heard the metallic case being placed down just beside me. Hold it in Hold it in...
This is nothing. This happened before. You can bare it. Bare it. Bare it.

"Louisa..."

I slowly look up with a cautious look. Jack stood in front of me and with his caring smile he stretched out his hands towards me. Eyes slightly widen and  lips enveloped. My body silently screamed for comfort. An uproar in my throat wanted to escape.

Hold it in.

I shut my eyes and clasped the edge of the desk to hinder from moving. Instead of giving in, I furrowed my eyebrows and gave a vicious glare to the man in front of me. 

But even though I tried hiding everything with anger. The walls I built were still breaking down. The image of the pregnant woman came in mind.

HOLD IT IN.

I hold my breath as I felt the lump in my throat rise.  My eyes started to blur, so I looked down and turned away. My body begun to shake and my eyebrows started to jitter.

Jack moved closer and slowly reached out for my cheek. Before an even slight of touch I slapped his hand away and pinned it on my desk. I gripped it tightly and  heaved in my tears but they couldn't stop for a halt. 

With my other hand I clutched unto his arm and dragged him closer. My shoulders shivered and shivered as my head slowly settled on his chest.

HOLD IT-

"Don't...don't hold it in...there's no use," he whispered.

The sobs were stifled at first, then was overcome by the wave of emotions. Everything broke down entirely, all defenses was washed away in those salty tears.

Slowly with hesitance I felt Jack caress the back of my head while my hands slowly loosen it's grip around his right arm and slowly clasped to one another

"I'm sorry...I was terrified," I sobbed.

"There's nothing wrong about being scared," he whispered.

"I did it again...h-how much I wanted to kill h-him but I didn't want it l-like this," 

"It's not your fault," he answered.

"What if I woke knowing his d-dead under me! He would be the seventh-..." I insisted.

"The two kidnappers, a k-kid, a merchant, a lowlife thief, a p-pregnant mother! Now him!!" I hit his chest weakly.

"This isn't the first time...I've killed a lot more than this six but knowing I killed someone without even being conscious about i-i-t, I...I can't seem to get hold of it," I whispered.