20)LIKE IT

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                  *Edited*
The cold welcomed me when I opened the door of the balcony. Snuggling closer to my cotton jacket and hugging myself, protecting myself from the cold, I closed the door and went out to the cold cause "Cold is better than uncomfortable Warmness"

I see how the trygerwell people move here and there to get adapted to the new cold of the years snow. Thinking about my confused mind and things that are going in my life.

I can't seem to realize and understand mind nor my feelings. Everything is going fast that couldn't even put a hand on them. I'm feeling so lost and invisible.
Sometimes I think if we were ever going to be the same??

I mean me and my feelings.

I push myself to the edge and I miss the before me, but I can't return me so I just wish to have a time machine. But most importantly I wish that he might ruin my life...

Meaning that, if he even doesn't like me, I wish he would just play with me, just to feel somehow I get a chance so close to him...

The roads is filled with ice of snow and cars, children sliding on the ice and the some couples having a coffee or hot chocolate..I wish, ugh

"I'm wishing lots of things, huh?"

Soon it was time for breakfast so I got into my room and closed the door going to the kitchen where Ace is making toast.

My breathing always hitch when he smile or even see me in a way he does to everyone. I can't believe that I somehow forget how it was to breath and it feels like thunder strikes me straight to the heart and it fucking hurt.

He doesn't feel the same way so I try my best not to show my feelings or any interest to him cause sometimes I'm also afraid we won't be the same, since I've got feeling...

Sara came to the room, moaning to the smell with just a cotton T-shirt showing her bandages..talking about the bandages, it was sure it was from a gun, yeah gun. The one you see on films, the cold metallic stuff.

You got it!!

Anyway it was from that thing, but Ace and the others won't tell me and try to act like it's nothing and they don't know what I was talking about.. Bitches.

She went to Ace and steal an already made toast from the plate and sat on the counter reveling her long tanned legs, chewing on the toast. I smile and was about to get out when Sara spoke.

"Hey Jer," she say "Why won't you eat, come here I'll feed you" she wiggle her eyebrows seducingly making me chuckle.

"Stop it Sara" Ace spoke sternly.

"What" she quickly defend "You don't want her so I'll take her,right Jer?"

But I was long gone.

             You don't want her

********##########***********
Aaron came yawning to the living room and sat on the sofa with me and Nessa, watching silently the movie. We sat there for couple of minutes, not even giving attention to the movie...not only me but us.

"Let's us go out" Nessa suddenly exclaims. I think about it for a second and nod, thinking I can get relieved from the thoughts and the things that are going in my mind and life. Aaron also seeing that I nod urgently he smile and stood.

"I'll bring the keys" he say before rushing to Ace's room.

After a couple of shuffling, he came and gingling the key in his index finger nodding for us to come. When we both took a step forward to the door, Haze took it's chance to open the door, just when Sara came out of the kitchen with chips and ketchup.

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