Found

Snow

It was snowing the day we buried Aaron. His casket was lowered solemnly into the ground, sniffles, and snobs creating the soundtrack to his funeral. I didn't cry. I couldn't. I'd cried so much this last week my eyes were dry. 

I was too numb to concentrate on the words of the priest, who was reading in a portentous voice. It was too hard. I didn't want to believe that he was dead, he couldn't. I hoped it was just a cruel trick, that actually he was hidden in a classroom out of sight with Georgia and Diana and Bash. I'd hoped even more that this was just a dream, then Will would be okay and I wouldn't live in constant fear of each hour becoming darker and darker. 

Will still wasn't awake. One week later. My throat became dry, Will would be devastated when he wakes. If he wakes.  

I took a deep breath in, the winter air traveling down my spine. I pulled my coat closer to try to warm myself up, but I've always been cold. Never quite warm enough. I had to stay strong if not for myself then for Aaron's parents, or my friends. 

We were stood in a row, stood on the opposite his family - each of us clutching a white rose. He'd hate for me to say but he always loved roses. I'd caught him more often than not staring in the flower shop window just opposite our apartment, the glass perfectly reflecting his smile. 

That's what I'll miss most about him. His smile. I'd miss the way he smiled at me from across the classroom making me laugh. I'd miss the way he'd always smile when he said hello even when he was feeling his worst. I'd miss Aaron. I'd always miss him. 

I promise to myself here, I'll think of him always. He stood as one of us, always there, always loyal - a fighter to the end. I hope he sleeps soundly, I hope he looks down on us. Every time I step out onto a stage, every time I sing at 54 Below, every time I walk past his locker. I will remember him. Though we are apart now, I will still have our memories, his spirit will live on, never gone for I shall not let him be forgotten. He will stay in my heart, safe and sound. 

He was my friend. 

He was the person who guided me through America, he taught me not to fear the big and mighty. I know I can't bring him back, but I will light a candle for him, to guide him back to us. He will always be home, even if he is not by my side.

This is our chance to make a stand, to show the adults of the world that our friends, our family, are dead because they are stubborn about an unjust part of the constitution. How can it be right for them to have the right to bear arms if everyone around them loses the right to live? We have to show them, I don't want anyone to lose their friends. It's not right. 

I had been lost in my thoughts that I hadn't noticed the end of the peaceful service. Some remained, heads bowed, tears still spilling. I couldn't look anymore, I don't... Aaron meant so much to me and he was ripped away from me. Forever. 

Bash placed a soft hand on my shoulder weary of how jumpy I am but I simply shook it off. Anger bubbled through my blood, powering my hatred for the gunman, for the president's negligence, for anyone who owned a gun. I hate them all. 

"Grace..." Bash began cautiously.

"What Bash." I spat at him. 

"Just come inside." He tried to reason with me, but I was past forgiving and forgetting. 

"And what Bash?" My voice began to rise, my emotions spiraling out of control just as much as the bullet that killed my best friend. "Forget that my best friend is dead. He was my first real friend and now look at him! He's dead because of someone having such a weapon!" I was beginning to choke on my tears that had finally decided to fall but I kept yelling, I couldn't do anything else. "I am sick and tired of people I love being ripped from my arms! One after the other! Once everything starts to go back to normal! Once everything begins to look good again!" 

I felt a hand in mine. I hoped for one second it was Aaron, alive and walking as if he hadn't been shot. Part of me wished it was Will, to know he was awake. But it wasn't, it was Diana. I had only met her a few months ago but she was my sister, just a small touch was enough to settle my bubbling acrimony. 

It was barely above a whisper, but I made my voice heard. "I miss him so much. I don't think I'll ever let go." 

Georgia took my other hand, leaning her head on my shoulder. "I loved him too." She sniffled, sucking in her tears. "So much." 

We were the only ones left by his grave. It was marked with a twig cross, the headstone hadn't been made yet. His mother was being escorted away, her body wracking with sobs, I hope she hadn't heard me.

 The winter wind blew, snow drifting softly down on us. We stood in silence for our best friend. Our brother. We would all miss him, but his story will be heard. We'll make sure of it. Now is the time for the children of this nation to stand, to want change. I don't want to lose another friend. I couldn't bare having to bury another friend. 

Bash reached into his pocket, pulling out a wooden box with Aarons name engraved on the top. "He was making this in design tech, he never finished it. So I did. Did you all bring a memory?" 

I let go of Georgia's and Diana's hands, reaching into my pocket. I pulled out a hairpin he had given me for my birthday. He hated that he could never afford much but I still loved it with all my heart when he gave it to me. It also had a sister, which was tucked into my hair as I placed the other into the box. 

Diana placed a button into the box. "It was from my winter coat. One of them fell off and he sewed another onto it. I didn't want to undo his work so I took the top button off." She laughed a bit from a bittersweet memory. "He never did up his top button." 

It was bitter sweet. Remembering the times before a performance together when I would do up his top button, only to come off stage and see he'd undone it. 

Georgia took out a penny from her pocket. She didn't even have to explain why. Aaron always threw a penny into the fountain down the street for luck when one of us had an audition. Sometimes I think it was the only reason I got Julia. His hope and wishes pushed me through. 

Finally, Bash pulled out a Polaroid. It was taken just a week before when we all had a sleepover at Diana's. One tear trickled down my cheek, just one. It was a tear for him, solely for him. For his memory, his love and our friendship. 

Bash placed the box by where the headstone would lie. This was what was here to remind the world of who he was, to tell him we haven't left him there forgotten. We could never forget him. Ever. 

We were silent once more, letting the wind blow through our hair as we stood looking at him. I crouched down, placing my bare hand on the snow. 

"We love you, Aaron."