Found

This Moment

Grace

I slowly crept into the room, Be- Dad holding the squeaking door open for Mum and me to enter without disturbing a sleeping Josh. He seemed so peaceful, lying in a cocoon of blankets and pillows, undisturbed by the blaring traffic outside of his window, twenty stories below. Cringing as he closed the door, Ben winced hoping that he hadn't disrupted Josh's slumber. 

Josh tossed slightly but did not arise. Syncronised, we all let out a breath glad to have not woken him. I couldn't feel anything but guilt as I witnessed him lying there, attached to machines monitoring every breath and heartbeat. 

He arrived yesterday for his quarterly scans and testing, checking the dementia that was growing like an unkillable weed in his brain, knotting itself down every nook and cranny, taking away everything we loved about Josh. And in turn - taking Josh away completely. 

I placed a brown paper bag down on the counter beside his bed, before taking a seat in the teal armchair stood beside his bed. I stared at him for a while, taking in everything about his face I have never noticed before. The peace was deafening, it didn't seem right; Josh is so jolly - bounding around everywhere he goes. Now he's just still. 

Too still. 

It wasn't right, for all the people to have to suffer, did it really have to be Josh? He wouldn't even kill a spider, despite how terrified he was of them. He'd always spare them. Why can't someone spare him? 

I hadn't enough time to answer my silent question, as Josh yawned, before slowly opening his eyes. He blinked a few times, suddenly sensitive to the harsh lights blaring above us. Ben noticed that he had aroused too, and jogged over to the light switch and dimmed the lights (which he really should have done before) to make the room more comfortable for Josh. 

Josh sniffed slightly, the side of his mouth curving up into his signature smile. "Bacon?" he asked. 

Liz- Mum snorted loudly, matching Dad's snort, from across the room. I chuckled slightly before reaching over to the counter and showing him the brown bag with the word's Josh's Bacon sharpied on the side compliments of Sky. 

Josh extended his arms, wiggling his fingers towards the bacon like a three-year-old. I handed it to him, only for him to open it and stuff a piece of bacon in his mouth like an otter chewing on a piece of bark. 

"Ummm bacon." He liked his lips, swallowing the piece in his mouth and taking another. 

He had successfully eaten five strips before he had enough and shifted so he was on his back facing the ceiling. He sighed, moving over to one side of the bed. He gestured to me, patting the space next to him on the bed, so I climbed on without another thought, lying down next to him. 

Just laying down made me yawn but before I knew it, my eyes began to close - my face falling onto one of the many pillows on the bed. Josh had extended one of his warms arms, wrapping it protectively around me before I fell into a slumber as peaceful as Josh's. 

-.x.-

I arose to a slight clicking sound. One sound that was all too familiar to me. "Seriously Josh, must you constantly take photo's of me?" 

I opened one eye, to see if I could catch him in the act, but with one glance I soon learned that it Ben. 

"Be - Dad!" I quickly shot up, pressing my hand up against the camera on his phone. "No fair! That's Josh's job!" 

"It mines now!" he jeered at me, spinning around the room. I quickly noticed Lizzy's absence, but her lack of baggage told me that she had in fact gone off to do her show. It was a thought that set a tranquil smile on my face, she was pursuing her dream. We all were, just one of us was a few steps behind, having been knocked over by an invisible force. 

"Benji!" I started slightly, surprised to see Josh awake next to me. 

"What?" he asked innocently, standing still. 

"Two things. One. Give me my job back!" 

Be- Dad, held his hands up in surrender, "Okay, okay you win."

"Thank you." Josh nodded his head, before glancing skeptically up at the clock then to Ben. "Two..."

"Ya?" 

"Grace has rehearsal dude!" 

Ben's eyes widened, as did mine. I had completely forgotten about that. Oops. Josh clapped his hands twice, urging me to get going and for Dad to drive me there. "Chop chop!" Josh shrilled as we got ready to leave. 

-.x.-

I promptly ran into the studio out of breath. Dad would have driven me here but just as we were about to leave, a doctor walked into Josh's room about something on one of the scans. According to Dad, it was nothing to worry about but I wasn't too convinced. But as of right now, I had to focus on our rehearsal. Or our last studio rehearsal. 

Tomorrow we were to enter the world of theatre rehearsals, including techs. I dropped my bag down on the pile of them that was collecting by the door and sat down next to Laura Osnes. She welcomed me with her warm smile before turning her attention back to John who was discussing plans for tomorrow. 

Before long, we were on our feet, warming up to have our last full run through in the studio. I struggled to wipe the smile of my face throughout rehearsal, desperately trying not to laugh as I cradled Sky in my arms as he 'died'. 

It wasn't that I was being disrespectful, it was just that being here, surrounded by people who share the love for this amazing show was something that I had never experienced in this magnitude. Sure, all the toursies adored Newsies, but most of them had done the show before and knew what it was like to tour the country so the atmosphere was different. But here everyone is buzzing to release this show onto Broadway. 

It was days like these, practicing for the show that I love whilst balancing my private life with my family wherever it may be was something I'd never give up. The jumble of my life was finally fitting into place like pieces of a jigsaw, creating me. I'll never give this moment up for the world.