Buses & Bunk Beds (Zarry)

Chapter 40

I knew that I was going to take Harry back, there was never really any doubt of that; my love for him a forgone conclusion. But while it was inevitable that I would never want to be without him, I needed some time to wrap my head around what he and Perrie had told me so I dropped my hand from his hip and took a step back. He tried to follow me but I held up a hand to stop him. "I just need to take a shower and think for a minute, okay?"

"Sure, whatever you want, that's fine. I'll take a shower with you," he said as he kicked off his boots and started to undress. I rolled my eyes in frustration. Only Harry could go from ignoring me completely to not being willing to let me out of his sight in just a few hours.

"No Harry, I can't...I can't be with you that way right now," I insisted, knowing that reason and logic would fly out the window if he so much as kissed me. I was overwhelmed by everything that had happened over the course of the evening, and I needed a moment to process it before I put myself in a situation that could lead to me being hurt again.

"We just had sex, like, an hour ago, I think I can resist you," he teased, and being reminded about how he'd left me alone was like a punch in the gut. I felt all too familiar tears pooling in my eyes, and I quickly turned towards the bathroom, not wanting him to see me like this.

He was at my side in an instant, pulling me into his arms and hugging me tightly. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean that like it sounded. Of course I always want to be with you that way. I just meant that I want to be close to you. I never want to be apart from you again, even if it's only while you're in the shower," he said, his breath tickling my neck and sending shivers down my spine.

His sweet words were exactly what I needed to hear, what I had been wanting to hear for the past month, but they only made me cry harder. Being in his arms was what I'd been wishing for the entire time we'd been apart, but having him this close terrified me at the same time. Being without him had been the worst experience of my life, and I didn't know if I could survive it again if he changed his mind and decided to leave me for a second time.

Harry placed gentle kisses along my shoulder and held me close until the sobs stopped racking my body. Once I finally recovered my Y chromosome I pulled away from him and rubbed my eyes, embarrassed that I'd broken down so completely in front of him. I didn't want him to know how much I had fallen apart in his absence. He didn't let go of me, sliding his hands down to my hips.

As I looked at him I noticed that his eyes were red as well and that he had a guilty look on his face. My heart immediately dropped to my stomach and I felt my blood run cold. I pushed him off of me as my mind started racing with thoughts of why he was making that goddamn face.

"Oh my god, you didn't...did you...you hooked up with someone else, didn't you?" I finally managed to spit out, feeling like I was about to be sick as I imagined how he might have been spending his nights while we were apart.

"What? God no! How could you possibly think that? I would never- you're the only one that I want to be with. I could never do that to you!" he yelled, running his fingers through his hair.

"Then why do you look so guilty?"

"I look guilty because I feel guilty. Guilty that I've upset you so badly. I thought you knew that I was just staying away from you because there was no way I could be near you and not touch you and be with you. It breaks my heart to realize that this whole time you've been thinking that I didn't want you. Nothing could be further from the truth. And fuck Zayn, you should know that I would never cheat on you!" he shouted before taking a deep breath. "I mean, I know we were technically on a break, but I've watched enough Friends to know that it would still count as cheating," he said as he stepped closer to me, obviously wanting to lighten the mood.