Chapter 18: I love you

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Jake
I stared at my lockscreen as my heart ached for her: her presence, her eyes staring at me, her lips. God I love her so much.
"Dude, why are you such an idiot?" Jayce asked.
"I don't know Jay. It's killing me. It's been a month since I seen her and every part of me is breaking."
"Apologize," he shrugged like it was the easiest thing in the world but trust me, it wasn't.
"I can't," I replied with tears in my eyes.
"Why? What the hell is stopping you?"
"I'm scared Jay. My life is pure hell without her. I can't even imagine what it would be like if I loose her again, after I gave her everything. I gave her my virginity dude but she betrayed me."
"She didn't betray you Jake, I swear. She loves you so dang much."
"I love her too but sometimes you have to love them enough to let them go."
He shook his head, "No. You have to love them enough to protect them from the hell that is society. Brooklyn has been through hell and back, do you really want her to burn in the flames that is heartbreak?"
"I don't want her to participate in the messed up parts of my life; see my deepest fears and biggest scars, the ones that hurt me like hell."
"Do what you want Jake but trust me when I tell you this, you can't push away love. The universe will look at you and say fuck you."
I laughed at his words, "I'll be fine Jay."
"Sure you will."
******
My tears will no longer fall for I have cried too much the past month that I just can't anymore.
"Oh come on Brookey, come out of that room!" Begged Chase.
"No, I think I'm good."
"I will literally break this door down if you don't open it!"
"Go ahead, try!"
If only I didn't say that.
"Fine," he replied before his fist met my door and his body emerged through my doorway.
"What the hell Chase?!"
"You challenged me."
I shook my head at his pride, "I don't want to talk right now."
"It's been a month. When are you gonna want to talk?"
"I don't know," I replied honestly.
"Well you need to."
I nodded, "hey you want any caviar?"
"Brookey, you hate caviar."
"Yea well maybe I like it today, ever thought of that?" I shot back as I stuck my tongue out at him."
"Brookey."
"What?"
"Are you pregnant?"
"What!? No way."
He bit his lip and looked at me, "I believe you are."
My eyes widened as I ran to the bathroom to find something. A pregnancy test....
"Oh my gosh, oh my gosh, oh my gosh," I paced around my bathroom as Chase just sat there on my toilet texting.
"Calm down Brookey," he chuckled not looking up from his phone.
"I can't calm down, I might be pregnant!"
"Okay okay, I'll leave the pregnant woman alone."
"Shut up. You don't even know if I'm pregnant!" I glared at him.
He laughed, "well check it."
I looked down at the item in my hands and my heart stopped.
Postive.
That's all it took for me to basically forget how to breathe.
"It's Jake's, isn't it?" Chase's voice brought me out of my thoughts, "he's the one who got you pregnant."
I bit my lip softly, "yeah."
He smirked, "what did I tell you about not doing that at 18?"
"Chase, we did it."
"Yes but-"
"Don't you dare say there's a difference because there's not!"
"I didn't leave you Brookey," his voice cracked as tears filled my eyes, "I know."
"You know if you need help raising the kid-"
"Don't bother Chase. I'll firgue it out. I'll either raise it myself or I'll give it up for adoption."
He slowly nodded, "I'm really sorry Brookey."
"Me too. I'm sorry that this kid will more than likely grow up without a father."
Tears filled my eyes as his face flashed through my mind, "am I not good enough?! Did I do something wrong? Why did he leave?"
Chase looked at me with concern and stood up, "Brookey-"
"Am I?"
"Yes of course you are. You're beautiful and kind, all of the things a guy would want in a girl."
"Apparently I'm not because he didn't want me. The father of my future child doesn't want me!"
I didn't know why I was so emotional all of a sudden, maybe it was the pregnancy?
******
"You're pregnant?!" Sav yelled.
I nodded, "yeah."
"Have you told your parents yet?"
I shook my head, "No. Only you and Chase."
"Well I think you should tell Jake...."
I looked at the ground, "why?"
She looked at me, "because he should know he has a child."
I knew she was right but I didn't want to let myself admit it.
"Tell him B. At least give him a choice."
"Okay."
I probably was gonna regret this but she was right, I should at least tell him.












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