a girl drenched in emotional scars and a rapper tangled by toxic demons are forced to face their legal issues together. Little did they know of the sparks they'd electrify within each other.
warning: profanity/drugs/death referrences
highest rank: #...
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|JASMINE SANDERS|
"Excuse me? My what?" Brian perplexed.
Uzi's eyes were wide, he kept pinching himself to see if it was a dream. Or for me, a nightmare. It wasn't. It was my life.
He had to be my dad. We shared the same facial structure, the same eyes. I saw myself within him. In fact, that was the scariest thing about him. Because it didnt matter if I loved my dad with all my heart or hated him with every thread of anger I owned. He would always be me. I would always be him.
"But, he--doesn't--doesn't have--an-y children?" I could tell by his high pitched voice that even Uzi didn't believe his own words.
On the outside, I tried to look stronger than who I really was. But the truth was,I was dying on the inside. I was losing more and more of my breath by every second that passed by. I was sinking into my hopeless thoughts.
"Well, I'm his secret child." I said, trying to be brave.
Brian's eyes became watery. Tears building up in his eyes. He never let those tears out, though. He blinked them, blink, blink, blink, away.
Are they happy tears? Mad tears? Sad tears?
I wanted to know how he felt about me.
He choked out, "You must have me confused with somebody else."
"What do you mean?" I said, my voice ready to shatter into a million peices.
I felt the rejection lunge into my stomach. It was like a brick was born in my abdomen. My worst fear was actually coming true. This was worse than having Kyle as a father. Here Brain, my real father, my own flesh and blood, rejected me. Denying my own existence.
"Out!" He yelled, pointing towards the front door.
I came too far to just give up and easily leave. When my father rejected me, something ignited inside my body. Something that made me want to roar like a lion. Something that made me feel like a sword in a battle of a war.
"Shanice, my mother----was murdered by Kyle Horlick. Her boyfriend!"
The silence between the three of us was so loud it rang through my ears. The tension was weighing me down and if I allowed it to stay that way it would bury me six feet under.
"Why didn't you take care of me?" I asked with eyes that pleaded hopelessly and a voice that bled pain.
Uzi tugged at my hand, silently begging me to leave. I wasn't ready. Not until my father officially became my father.
Father. Dad. Please. Love me. Be the man I have always longed for my entire life. Show me who you are. Expose your true colors. Be the man who lifts me up in the sky with your strong muscular arms. Don't drag me...
He forced Uzi and I out, "You must have me confused little girl."
He slammed the door in my face. Like I was some crazy stranger. The horrified look in his eyes when I told him I was his daughter replayed in my mind.
Icy prickles of water fell from the clouds. A mix between hatred and determination stirred on my insides.
I pounded my fist on his door as I began to get soaked. From my eyes, tears rolled down and down and down until, there was no more down to go. I kept pounding, refusing to stop despite Uzi trying to pull me back.
"Is this how it's going to be? Did you really ever love me?! Ever?! I just wanna know the truth! THE TRUTH!" With one more tug, Uzi pulled me away from the door.
From the window, I saw Brain. He peered from the window with pathetically sad eyes.
I guess my mom liked her men pathetic.
I felt unwanted by the world, it was too much to bare. No one wanted me, no one cared. What did I do to deserve a life like that? Was it my aunt's fault? My mom's? Or was it mine?
"Come on, let's get you home." Uzi whispered with sorrow in his eyes.
I pulled away from his grip. He should have never even came in the first place.
"Fuck off!"
I started running, in the evil, frosty rain as I heard him call after me. I didn't give a crap.
Go back to your amazing celebrity life. Let me freeze to death and die in this cold. It's not like you actually care.
I ran. I ran so so fast I didn't feel my legs anymore. I wanted to run all the rejection away. I wanted to run all my humanly emotions. I wanted to run until I didn't care that nobody cared for me. I wanted run until I met with the end of the Earth, where nothing but, nothingness existed. Nothingness like me.
