EAT » [ziam]

fifteen

“You don’t seem too eager to talk? Is something bothering you?” asked Harry with a voice that hinted a little mock.

“Kind of, but I’d rather not talk about it,” Zayn mumbles. He’d much rather hang up on Harry right now because Zayn just wanted to be left alone with his thoughts, but he wasn’t rude enough to do that to Harry. “Honestly though, what do you want Harry?” Agitation was getting the best of Zayn at this moment.

“To just talk, buddy. Sheesh, I’m just being friendly,” defended the curly-haired lad.

Zayn hated being called ‘buddy’. It felt like someone was putting themselves above him and it made Zayn feel young and foolish. “Can’t you talk to like… Louis or something?”

Harry’s lips formed into a smirk as he had Zayn right where he wanted him. It was time to take this mentioning of Louis and use it to his advantage. “I would, but he’s busy hanging out with Liam.”

Zayn’s heart plummeted down into the depths of hell. At least, it felt that way. This just heightened Zayn’s belief that he wasn’t good enough for Liam, or anyone of that matter. “Wha-What do you mean? I… I thought he was grounded?”

“That’s what I thought too, but I guess he’s just a rebel. I mean, I’m not surprised though. It makes since because he’s fancied Louis since year eight.” Harry’s voice sounded carefree and obvious like he thought Zayn knew this. He was doing his job quite well and his acting was easy for the gullible to believe. He deserved an Oscar award for how shady he was acting.

“Oh…” is all Zayn could muster up because he was at a loss of words. It all made sense now; Liam wanted Louis this whole time. Louis was so much more funny, outgoing, skinny, charming, handsome, and perfect than Zayn.

He felt used, like Liam was just playing him this entire time and didn’t have any feelings for him. He thought being asked on a date was a shoe-in for Liam’s feelings for Zayn, but the whole thing was just a hoax.

“I thought he liked me,” croaked out Zayn, his voice cracking easier than an eggshell.

“Sorry to break it to you Zaynie, but Liam’s infatuated with Louis,” says Harry with fake sympathy.

Zayn clicks the ‘end call’ option and drops his phone to the ground. At this point, Zayn was livid and had not one care for Liam. His motivation to get thin died like his longing for Liam at that moment. If he was just going to have his feelings get toyed with, then Zayn would just drop it and let his insecurities get the best of him. He was beginning to believe everything his father said was completely accurate and figured if you can’t beat ‘em then to join ‘em.

Zayn races down the stairs and heads to the kitchen, searching through the cabinets immediately. The food labels and nutritional facts he used to read like they were more important than the bible didn’t matter to the boy. He’d ignore his thoughts and give into his grumbling stomach and eat his feelings like he used to when he was young. The comfort of food was his last resort since no living figure was there for him.

All the junk food in the cabinet seemed appealing to Zayn, but he continued his hunt by rummaging in the fridge. The way he saw food as numbers deteriorated from his mind. Of course it would come back since his anorexic mind was a vicious continuous cycle that just wouldn’t go away like a pest.

Zayn’s eyes grace upon a box of leftover pizza from Wednesday night dinner. He remembers skipping dinner that night because he wanted to look perfect for Liam. While his family was eating, Zayn was sitting there with a piece of pizza shaking in his hand. He was so tempted to take a bite. Eventually he excused himself and went for a run instead. Too bad that was a complete bust and waste of time.