Not Like This (Stucky AU)

CHAPTER ONE

BUCKY'S POV

"Hey mum," I mumble into the phone the second she picks up. Her and my family live back in Brooklyn while the stupid sixteen year old James Buchanan Barnes is in Washington DC needing to get the hell out of the mess I'm in. "Can I come home, please? I'm so sorry."
"Yes baby, of course. Do you need help?" I forgot how much I missed her kind, gentle voice that I have never heard raised, not even when I shouted that I was moving to DC with my now ex boyfriend.
"Yeah mum, I do." I whimper as it starts pouring down with rain at the park I'm in, my backpack full of the few things I have. "I'm at Logan Circle park in DC."
"Don't go anywhere, your dad and I will be there soon. I love you." I never thought I'd hear those words again. I royally screwed up and she's still coming to get me.
Neither are going to be happy when they see what state I'm in. Last time they saw me, I was a healthy fifteen year old with both my arms but now I have a cybernetic one that I never wanted. I thought Rumlow loved me but him and his friends abused me and lopped off my arm and gave me a metal one. It took a year and a half but I finally got out, not very far though.
I tuck my phone into my bag and hug it to my chest while staring at the statue in the middle of the park through the heavy rain. DC is a beautiful place but it's full of cruel memories. I press my face into my bag and sob and shake, not even realising I had fallen asleep until someone is shaking me awake.
"James, sweetie?" I hear my mum's voice, I open my eyes and cry when I look up to see her crouching in front of me, my dad standing nearby.
"Mum!" I throw my arms around her and cry messily into her chest. "I'm sorry, mum. I'm so, so sorry."
"I know, hey, I know sweetie and it's okay." She pulls my head away, her hands on either side of my face before pressing her lips into my forehead. "Let's get you home."
"Hey mate," My dad smiles a little before hugging me into his arms. "Your room is exactly as you left it."
On the three hour drive back to Brooklyn, I sort of tell them what happened in DC, avoiding a few things but I tell them about my arm. Though, I tell them I got a really bad infection and skip out all the pain Hydra put me through. Dad's grip tightens on the steering wheel while mum gives my arm a look at with a bit of curiosity and shock. I also avoid telling them how I was able to pay for it because it's very high tech.
"How's Steve?" I ask quietly. I've asked about my siblings who are with our aunt but my former best friend is who I want to know about. I doubt he'll want to be my friend after I punched him square in the jaw when he tried to stop me from leaving, along with some harsh words.
"He's okay, he asks about you a lot." Mum smiles at me. "He's not going to stop caring about you."
"As soon as your mum got off the phone with you, we told him you were coming home." Dad looks in the rear view mirror at me for a second before putting his eyes back to the road. "He wants you to know that if you need him, he'll be there."
"I punched him in the face and screamed at him..." I stare down at my hands in my lap, a single hot tear rolls down my cheek and drips onto the metal.
"He's forgiven you, for everything." I hear my mum's words but I don't quite believe them.
The rest of the ride is quietish. I'm either staring out the window or down at my hands while my parents are chatting lightly. They do try to include me but I'm so zoned out that I barely even notice when they do. My three younger siblings, Josh, Jay and Dawn basically tackle me in a hug before I can step in the door, and that's when I fully break down. All four of us just hugging on the floor while I'm crying so hard I can barely breathe. I forgot how much I missed them until now and I regret ever leaving with Rumlow because I was stupid to think he loved me. When we finally break apart, I'm hugged by my aunt Mary and behind her is the last person I had expected to see.
"Stevie." I rub my puffy, sore eyes. He looks very different. He's gained muscles and is a foot taller but he still has his neat blond hair and blueish green eyes. "I am so... I can't..."
"Buck, I forgave your dumb ass a long time ago." I can't believe I'm crying again. That's all I've done today, cry. I'm sick of crying. "If you ever, and I mean ever, need to talk or want to hang out, I'm there."
I simply nod, unable to express how sorry I am for hurting him but grateful for him not hating. I walk over and pull him into a hug, I'm unsure how I feel about him being a few inches taller than me. We exchange phone numbers and my parents buy pizza for dinner, though I'm not all that hungry, I still have a couple slices. Steve even stays for a movie but I end up falling asleep from sheer exhaustion against my mum.No one even mentioned the fact I have a metal arm which I am more than grateful for because I really don't feel like reliving those memories, however, those memories visit my dreams and I wake up screaming and thrashing on the couch.
"Bucky, it's okay, you're okay." Steve says, dodging my metal arm flying at him before I sit up panting. I didn't realise he was staying the night.
"I'm sorry." I apologise, scratching at my shoulder where the metal meets skin under my shirt.
"Do you wanna talk about it?" He moves to sit next to me after I move my legs. Everyone else must've gone to bed.
"I don't think I can," I admit, forcing myself to stop with the scratching. "One day, maybe but it's too fresh."
"Got it, pal." He lightly bumps his shoulder into mine which I can't help but crack a tiny smile at.
"You got big. What happened to scrawny lil Stevie?" I ask, rubbing my left shoulder as it stings a bit from the scratching.
"You punched me in the face." I open and close my mouth like a fish. I feel really bad about that. Steve starts to laugh at my reaction. "I'm kidding, kind of. I started working out to kick Rumlow's ass for if he hurt you..."
I don't say anything, I simply stare at the warm, hard wood floor of the lounge.
"He's the reason for your arm, isn't he?" I don't answer his question but it's obvious. Steve has always been a fire cracker, this just makes him pissed, I can feel him shaking in the slightest from anger next to me until he takes a deep breath to calm down. "I'll drop it, sorry."
"I still feel horrible about clocking you, and yelling at you." I pull my legs up onto the couch in front of me.
"You thought you were following your heart." He shrugs it off casually. I watch as he gets up and grabs a blanket from the chest used as a coffee table and he tosses it at me. "Get some sleep. I'll crash on the chair."