Let shadows die, So I can feel alive

Chapter Twenty Nine

Hey everyone. sorry it took me a while, I was going to update a few weeks ago but life has been so hectic. I travelled to America for the first time and now I'm back at university for my third and final year.

Anyway. Thanks for being so patient. So much love to you all x

 Cassidy's pov-

I was released from the hospital later that day. Andy had been amazing for the rest of the day and we were currently sat on his couch watching a movie. "Are you feeling okay babe?" Andy broke the silence that had settled upon us during the film, I nodded not moving my head from his chest "I wanted to ask you something" I lifted my head up and sat up properly, I stretched and turned so that I was facing him, he looked deep in thought, placing my hand on his shoulder I smiled softly towards him "what's bothering you baby?" I was getting concerned at his behaviour "I want you to move in with me" I let out a chuckle as my worry subsided, however his expression still seemed off and his eyes were darting around the room avoiding my gaze. Something I noticed that he did when he was nervous. "I'll move in with you Andy, why are you so nervous?" I placed my hands softly on his cheeks and gently forced him to look at me "I" he paused, deep in thought "talk to me Andy" I scrunched my eyebrows together in confusion and he took a deep breath as he placed his hands on my thighs squeezing them softly. "I need to go away for a few days first"

"what? why?" I became even more confused as I watched him carefully, he removed my hands from his face and held them tightly in his own "I need to get clean. I can't do it on my own" I shook my head "you've got me to help you" his smile came as fast as it went "I need to do this for myself Cass, you didn't deserve to be dragged into this. I'll be gone for a week tops and then when I'm back you can move in and we can start fresh. You'll be getting treatment and I'll be in the right mind set to help and care for you" he looked upset but he was trying his hardest to hide it. "I'm proud of you" I brushed my fingers through his hair that was gradually getting longer and he smiled softly at the touch "I don't deserve you. I caused all of this with my reckless decisions and you still love me" he pulled me tightly into his strong arms and I laughed "you're such a softy, of course I still love you. Yes, you made some unwise decisions but you're willing to help yourself and that's the main thing" he lifted me up and positioned me so that I was straddling his waist and he placed a soft kiss to my chapped lips "I love you too".

We remained in this position for a while until we both got hungry. "can we get a takeout" I yawned as I manoeuvred off of his lap and onto the couch, "yes, there's no way you're cooking, you still need to rest" I nodded as I watched him leave the room and he soon returned holding a handful of menus "I'll let you decide, I just need to go make a phone call" he looked fidgety and I sighed, I stood up and grabbed his arm as he began to leave the room, causing him to turn around and face me "Andy, if you need a fix it's okay. I don't want you to get sick if you can help it" he groaned as he tried to hold back tears of frustration "I need to get clean Cass. Continuing to take is only going to make it worse" I shook my head "you need to have a professional help you get clean, you can't do it on your own. You can't just quit immediately" we stood in silence for a while, him seemingly in deep thought "okay, I guess you're right, I'm going to phone a professional too. Ronnie gave me their number" I nodded, kissed him softly before he grabbed his phone and walked out of sight towards the stairs at the back of the apartment.

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Around a half an hour later Andy wandered into the living room, he looked slightly better and he smiled towards me as he settled back down onto the couch "so, did you decide on what food you want?" he seemed to be avoiding the topic of the reason for him going upstairs but I decided to let it slide for now "can we get Chinese food. The orange chicken with egg fried rice is calling out to me" he chuckled and nodded as he grabbed the menu from my hands and had a quick look through, he then retrieved his phone from his back pocket and dialled the number for the restaurant to make the order. I continued to watch the tv as Andy spoke on the phone and once he had finished he placed his arm around my shoulder and I rested my head against his chest "they're busy so the delivery time is around an hour, is that okay with you?" I nodded and placed my hand softly onto his chest as I turned to look at him "how did your phone call earlier go?" he gave a small smile as his hands snaked around my waist "better than I expected actually. The guy is really willing to help. It's not going to be cheap but if he can help then that's all that matters"

"so where do you have to go? Is it far" his smile never left his face as he chuckled "funnily enough, he's coming here. He said it's easier for people to get clean in their own homes. He did say that I'm not allowed to see anyone though, but all being well I should be better in a week and a half tops seeing as I haven't been using for a serious length of time". Nodding my head, I gave him a kiss before we settled into a comfortable silence as we waited for dinner to arrive.

()()()

We had finished our food and it was getting late "do you need me to go back home?" I asked Andy as I placed our empty food boxes onto the coffee table. "No, of course not. The guy, I think his name is James, is coming at midday. I want you to be here when he arrives" he had a look on his face that I had never seen before and I stroked his face softly "are you nervous? You can tell me how you're feeling Andy. I might be able to help" he shrugged as his eyes followed mine carefully "just a little. I don't know what's going to happen and I just want you to be there when he comes. You're the most important person in my life. You deserve to know from him what's going to happen to me when you leave" I nodded in understanding "everything will be fine Andy, I promise you and when we're back together in however long it takes everything will still be fine" he seemed happy with my answer and I kissed him softly before grabbing the food boxes from the table and tidying up the rest of our mess.

"I know we haven't been together all that long, but I've been the happiest that I've ever been with you" I smiled at his words "can I tell my fans about you? I want to show you off and tell everyone how amazing you are" I took a deep breath as I thought about it "I guess so, I just don't want them to not like me" he pulled me close towards him "no one could ever not like you Cass. Be jealous maybe but the only thing you need to remember is that I love you and it doesn't matter what anyone else thinks" I kissed him and he smiled into the kiss. He pulled out his phone and showed me a picture of the two of us that we had taken together a few weeks ago "is this one okay to post?" I nodded softly as he opened up his Instagram and began to type out a message filling everyone in on our relationship and that he was going to be taking a break from social media for a few weeks so that he could sort a few things out, not wanting to make his fans aware of his drug problem just yet. He posted the picture and shut off his phone so that he had his full attention on me. "Shall we head up to bed?" he asked as he pulled me into an affectionate kiss "yes" I spoke between kisses as he lifted me up and we began to make our way up to his room for the night.

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