Let shadows die, So I can feel alive

Chapter Twelve

Cassidy's pov -

Work was hectic today and it didn't help that we were understaffed. It was currently 5:30pm and I was starting to feel a little off, the restaurant had been busy all day and tiredness was consuming me. Paige walked over to me as I was placing a couple of dishes into the washer "you okay? You look a little pale" I shrugged "I'm just feeling a little anxious today, I feel off" she placed a hand on my shoulder "Jack starts his shift in ten minutes, I'm sure Lee will let you head home a little early" I took a deep breath, I could already feel myself beginning to panic and this was not the place that I wanted it to happen. "Come on, lets go to the back, I will let Lee know you're not well", she led me to the staff room in the back and I sat on the couch. A few minutes later she returned with Lee in tow, "shit Cassidy, you don't look so good" Lee looked concerned and Paige took a seat next to me on the couch, "I'll be okay, I just need to go home" I stood up to leave, my breathing laboured and I lost my balance, Lee caught me and laid me back onto the couch "I'm going to call an ambulance, you look really bad Cass, Paige, get back to work, Jack will be here soon" she nodded before reluctantly leaving the room. I tried to concentrate on my breathing as Lee called for an ambulance; I have never been so embarrassed in my life.

Two medics rushed into the room and over to the couch that I was currently laying on, they began asking me questions but I was unable to concentrate on anything that they were saying to me, my eyes kept closing and I was struggling to keep them open, I gave up in the end and the darkness took over.

()()()

I opened my eyes; I was lying in a scratchy hospital bed. I sat up quickly but regretted it as my head spun "hey, hey, it's okay, lay back" it was only when they spoke that I realised that mum and dad were sat next to the bed. "What happened?" I asked them both, confused "they said it was to do with your anxiety, Lee said you weren't feeling well and you collapsed" I thought back to work and began to remember bits of what happened, but it was blurred in my memories "wait, what time is it?" I looked around for my bag, hoping to find my phone "calm down Cassy, what's wrong?" dad looked confused as mum reached for my bag "Andy, he was supposed to be picking me up from work after my shift" mum placed a hand on my arm "he knows you're here, he's on his way over" I let out a sigh of relief "when can I leave?" I raised my eyebrow looking at the disgusting gown that was covering me "I think they want to keep you in overnight, they just want to keep you under observation for a little bit" I groaned and laid my head against the pillow as I shut my eyes, I didn't realise how tired I was until my head hit the pillow.

"What happened? Is she okay?" I awoke to someone talking franticly in the room, someone replied but I was too tired to focus in on what they were saying. I then felt a soft hand brush against my cheek. I slowly opened my eyes to come face to face with Andy. "Hey baby, how're you feeling?" I smiled up at him and shifted over in the bed "tired" I mumbled as he lay next to me on the bed, I rested my head on his chest as mum explained to him what had happened. Mum and dad soon left after Andy had reassured them that he wouldn't be leaving my side and I sat up slowly "I need to pee" I went to get out of the bed but Andy pulled me back "wait, I don't want you to fall, I will call someone to help you" I groaned but listened to him anyway, he soon returned with a nurse behind him, it was the same one who had been checking me every few hours. She helped me out of the bed and helped me go to the bathroom, after I had finished she guided me back into my room and Andy helped me back onto the bed "I will bring you something to eat, you haven't eaten anything since you came in" she smiled before turning and leaving the room. I turned to Andy and sighed "this sucks" he rubbed my back and ventured back to where he was sitting on the bed "you'll be able to leave soon baby, they're just trying to figure out what's going on" I nodded, still frustrated "I don't have a clue what happened, I thought it was just a panic attack".

The nurse soon returned with a tray of food in her hand, "here you go" she placed the tray onto the table and wheeled it so that it was in front of me "eat as much as you can" she smiled before turning to Andy, "can I get you anything, coffee?" Andy shook his head "I'm fine, thank you" she nodded once again and left the room. I looked down at the food in front of me and grimaced causing Andy to chuckle "just eat it Cass, it's probably not that bad" I raised my eyebrows at him before taking a bite of the unidentified food and swallowing it quickly, I continued to eat it and when I had finished I grabbed the cup of water, washing the foul taste from my mouth. 'You don't have to stay you know" I laid my head on his shoulder and pulled the covers over myself "I'm not leaving you, I need to make sure that you're okay" he yawned after finishing his sentence and I sighed "go home Andy, You've had a long day and you probably have work to do tomorrow, I'm not going anywhere" he groaned before reluctantly nodding "fine, but I'm coming back first thing tomorrow morning" I nodded and he leaned down and connected our lips softly, "sleep well, I will see you in the morning" I smiled "you too Andy, get home safe" he nodded, he gave me one last kiss before he grabbed his phone and jacket and ventured slowly out of the room, blowing me a kiss before the door closed on him.

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It was almost 10am and I was getting fed up of lying in this bed, mum had arrived a little under half an hour ago and I had received a text from Andy, he wouldn't be able to visit until later due to a meeting that had come up at short notice. "How long till I can leave?" I turned to mum who was sat beside the bed "I'm not sure honey, the doctor said she would be here soon" as she finished her sentence the door opened and the doctor walked in. "good morning Cassidy, Mrs Holmes" she smiled and glanced down at the file that she was holding "we're still unsure about the full extent of what has happened, however, we believe that the reason that you passed out was from your shortness of breath and hyperventilating through your panic attack. I am going to recommend that you attend weekly meetings with a therapist, that way you will be able to talk to someone and they can hopefully help you to overcome your anxiety" I nodded but I wasn't happy, I didn't want to talk to anyone about it, I just wanted to forget. "You're welcome to leave when you're ready, your first appointment with the therapist will be on Wednesday at 2pm" mum thanked her and she left the room swiftly. "Come on, lets get you home" I got changed slowly before following mum out of the building and out to the car. When we got home I went straight to my room, slammed the door and locked it, making sure that nobody could enter before I climbed under the bed covers where I burst into tears, wishing that Andy was here to comfort me.

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Thank you for being so patient with me :) I have finally finished college so I have loads of free time until I start Uni, enjoy, comment and follow xoxox