Chapter 1

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He was standing there alone, Evan could see the darkness enveloping into him. "No!" wass the last thing he could shout before it got him. He was gone.
~~~~~~
Evan woke up in a cold sweat. Dammit. Not another dream about Connor. He's dead, Evan. Let it go. It still hurts that no one has ever even took the time to remember him. Here one minute, gone the next. Connor left too soon. He never was supposed to die. All that was left was the empty space that Connor once occupied. A space where one could tell the other anything in the world and it would stay a secret. Connor was also the first person Evan came out to.

Evan glanced at the clock. Shit I'm gonna be late for school.

*Time skip*

"Hey loser, how've you been? When's that cast coming off anyways. I can imagine that jerking off is a lot harder with that thing on your arm." Jared. And then there's Jared. A boy who Evan is hopelessly in love with. A boy who Evan thinks will never love him back.

"H-hey?" Evan wasn't sure as to how he should respond, knowing Jared, most of the crap he says is both retorical and idiotic. "I was just on my way to class and I was wondering if you wanted to walk there with me?"

Jared just stared at him for a bit. Shit, Evan thought, now he thinks I'm gay or something. I mean I am, but I shouldn't have even asked that! Ugh why did I have like the most popular guy in school. "Uh sure, but no homo bro." Jared winked at Evan.

HOLY FORK! HE WINKED AT ME! As Evan and Jared walked down the hall, Evan was slowly wondering why would Jared say yes? Was he playing with Evan's head? Of course he was. I'm a loser with no friends, just a 'family friend'. Lucky me. As Evan contemplated this, he nearly missed his class. That's when Jared grabbed his hand and led him in their first period English class. Still holding on to Evan's hand, Jared started walking to his seat, but was soon interuppted by Evan's nervous stuttering and his flushed face.

As soon as the two walked into class, another student yelled "YOU'RE HOLDING HANDS THAT'S GAY!" which caused the whole class to erupt in laughter.

Jared quickly dropped Evan's hand and was soon at a loss for words, a rarity for him. He soon gained back his speaking ability and put up a front. "Why did you even grab my hand in the first place Hansen, are you gay of something? You do know I'm straight right? This summer? Second base below the bra? God, you probably don't even understand. I'M STRAIGHT EVAN!" Jared realized that may have been too loud.

Grabbing Evan's hand, they walked outside of the class and Jared pulled him into the janitors closet. Evan was completely dumbfounded. He had no clue what that explosion was or why Jared just yelled at him. All Evan knee was that it scared him and it triggered part of his anxiety.

"Listen, Ev, I don't hate you, I just need people to think I do. If not, then I won't be cool or something. I honestly don't even know why I do it. But I have something to tell you though and you can't tell anyone." Evan had no clue what it was, but he would guard that secret with his life, or perhaps was that too much enthusiasm. 

(updated: 3-24-19)
-Gabby

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