Chloë Grace Imagines

Thoughts

You're at home thinking...

You can't just meet someone for the first time and fall in love. You can't just date them after a week of knowing them.
You know it doesn't work like that. You've had ideas of love at first sight. Mutual feelings and being with someone you truly love.
You can't live in delusion forever. Love is not real. It's not real. Love never works out. Everyone always settles.
One person loves the other person more. Love is usually unreciprocated. When it is reciprocated, it's near a miracle, and one of the two likes the other more. It's never equal. Ideal love is not real.
You lie back on your bed and look up at the ceiling. Sometimes you just think about life. And her.
What the fuck is love, anyway? You just find yourself obsessing over someone and you just can't stop thinking about them and then when you realize they're never going to feel the same way about you that you feel about them, you start crying. That's love.
Maybe love is pain.
Maybe that's all it is.
You blink back tears and chew your lip. Sure, you don't actually know how she feels about you, but you're sure she doesn't feel as much as you do.
You roll over and look at your phone. No texts from her. You put your phone down and roll onto your back once more.
Love is always painful. Goodbyes. Last hugs. Last kisses. Last words.
Love is always painful.
You think. You wait. You pray even though you're not religious. And then when everything comes crashing down, you still don't give up. You're too fucking stupid to give up because you don't want to regret anything. And you know what? You're going to regret not giving up.
Love is painful because we fucking make it painful. It isn't meant to be that way. It's supposed to be amazing and beautiful, but it usually isn't because we're all idiots and have to want what we can't have. We want what we don't have. We're never satisfied. You think you're happy but you're not. You want more and more. What you have is never enough.
Maybe it's our own fault that love is pain.
You feel a tear streak down the side of your face; the coldness contrasts with your flushed skin. It feels like there's no air in the room. You can't breathe.
You feel like you're drowning, going lower and lower and lower until...ding! You reach hell. No, it's your phone. It takes you a moment to realize that it's your phone.
You open your eyes and look to see her name. It's her. Right when you were thinking of her and despairing over your entire life and thinking you had nothing, she texts you.
You open her message and read:
Hey do you wanna go out for coffee tomorrow?
You blink. You thought she didn't think of you that way. You don't understand.
You text her back:
As in?
She reads the message, and it takes only a few moments for her to reply:
As in a date
You feel your face flush. What is this timing? Is the universe playing a trick on you?
You let out a breath and message her:
I'd love to

———

Funny how much time can change feelings. And opinions. Sometimes you need to get out of your head. You can't ask for life's meaning. You have to understand that life is questioning you. What is asked of you? Your path has intertwined with Chloë's for a reason.
You can't control everything, but you can control your attitude. And when you're with her, you only feel love.
Six months together, and you still don't know how you got so lucky. You can't believe how unsure you'd been. Now, you can only feel her love for you and your love for her. Life is completely different and so much brighter today.
You wake up in the morning and see her beside you. Her blonde hair is always a mess, yet she always looks so beautiful. You smile as you see her beautiful green eyes flutter open. Her full lips turn up into a grin, and you kiss her softly.
"I love you," you murmur.
She giggles slightly. "I love you."

A/N
this was a weird one I know
this was me being emo one day and also me reading some philosophy books for uni whoops