Chloë Grace Imagines

Lucky

You don't know what you did...

Her responses to your texts have been more sporadic and almost dry. You don't know if you did something or not. You don't think you did. You feel like you're annoying  her. You've been careful to be understanding of her need for space and time. You're at a loss.
All you want to do is talk to her and let her know how much you love her. Only she's just not there anymore.
She's a ghost of who she used to be, and you don't even know why. You wish things could go back to the way they were. Before things came crashing down. You used to talk everyday, video call, meet often, and then suddenly, it's all different. She's not here anymore, and you miss her so much.
Your heart is slowly breaking with each passing moment. She's just not here. You text her, asking how she is; you get no response.
You want to go to her house—but you don't. You don't know how she would feel about you just showing up out of the blue.
The truth is, you miss her with all your heart. It's like you got a taste of her attention, and you just crave more and more. But your fix is not here.
Potential can kill. The knowledge that she's physically near yet emotionally far is devastating. Knowing you could talk to her yet being unable to is horrible.
Pain does indeed demand to be felt.

———

Three days have passed; you're yet to hear from her. You think she's done. You think it's all over between you. You weren't even dating. She just suddenly fell off the face of the Earth. Not completely, perhaps, but she was simply no longer there. And you miss her still.
You resign yourself to giving up. She doesn't want you—no matter how much you want her. She doesn't want to break your heart so brutally, so perhaps she's trying to figure out a way to tell you. That must be it.
She's too good a person to just disappear. Completely, at least. You probably did something to upset her. You need to figure out what it was, but you just don't know.

———

After an entire week, she messages you:
hey
You nearly drop your phone in surprise when you see her name pop up. You reply immediately:
hey
She reads the message and texts back.
I'm sorry I didn't text. I was going through a thing. But that doesn't excuse me being inconsiderate.
You blink. After a moment, you text back:
It's okay. How are you?
She reads the message immediately and writes:
I'm okay now. I wanted to see you in person to apologize.
You stare at your screen and respond in the only way you can really think of:
Okay
It takes a moment for her to reply:
Can you meet me at the coffee shop in an hour?
You don't have to think.
Yes.

———

You're nervous to see her. You don't know if she's going to tell you that she hates you or if she's going to throw a brick at you. Neither is a likely route that the day will take, but you enjoy overthinking.
You check your phone for what seems like the hundredth time. It's time. You sit in your usual booth, two cups of coffee in front of you. You chew your lip nervously as you wait. You can't sit still. You have to be fidgeting; you keep clasping and unclasping your hands. You're so out of it that you don't even notice as she slips into the other side of the booth.
"Hey," she says, snapping you out of your daze.
"Hey," you reply, your cheeks flushing slightly.
"You okay? You were really concentrating on reading that blank table," she says, making you smile slightly.
"Yeah, I'm fine."
"That's good," she says. "Thank you for the coffee. And thank you for meeting me," she adds, and you just nod. "I wanted to apologize for being such a horrible friend."
"You weren't," you assure her, but it sounds fake even to you.
"We both know I was being selfish. It's okay. I'm really sorry," she tells you. Her green eyes are soft; you can tell how genuinely sorry she is.
"It's fine. What happened?" you ask, and she lets out a breath. Her blonde hair is slightly messy, which is unusual for her.
"My mom was in the hospital," she says, and your eyes widen. Here you were thinking it had something to do with you. How ridiculous.
"Oh my god. Is she okay?"
"She is now. It turns out it was a false alarm," she says, letting out a breathy laugh. "But fuck, I was so worried."
You feel your face soften. You feel bad for having made everything about you.
"I'm so sorry," you say gently, reaching forward. She reaches across the table to meet your hand in the middle. Her skin is soft against yours, and you lace your fingers through hers. She smiles slightly.
"It's okay. And I'm really sorry. I should have just told you what was going on. I don't know...I guess I just didn't really want you to worry. I should have said something, though."
"It's fine. You weren't in the right state of mind to be worrying about things like that," you reply, squeezing her hand gently.
"Thank you. God, I really don't deserve you."
"Don't say that."
"It's true. I've been awful to you, and you've been nothing but supportive and sweet." She looks into your eyes, and you can't help but smile. "You're an incredible person."
"Thank you," you say, feeling a bit at a loss for words. You don't know how to respond to compliments at all. "You weren't awful, though."
"You're doing it again. We both know I was being awful. Let's leave it at that. I promise I won't do it again." She grins, and you nod.
"Alright."
"You know I care about you, right?" she asks, and you nod again.
"I care about you, too."
"I'm so lucky to have you in my life," she says, her green eyes brighter now.
"That's what I should be telling you," you respond.
She smiles, and you fall into silence. Only it's a comfortable silence. It's not that there's nothing to be said. There are a lot of things that you could say. Only it's just not necessary to say anything in this moment. It's completely perfect as it is.

A/N
I'm thinking part two because this stopped here