chapter eleven

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Maybe it was his fear of commitment that kept him from getting to know Luke better than just the taste of his lips and the warmth of his skin. Perhaps it was his fear of being hurt again like he had been in the past from multiple partners that kept him from texting him back until the sun went down and there was no one else to tell of their conversations. It could even be the pain of getting close to someone just to have to leave them behind for ten months of the year. He couldn't tell which emotional scar kept him from getting close to the blond, or which mental wall he couldn't tear down to let him in, but something kept him from smiling when he should or relaxing when there was nothing to be afraid of. Something that hurt deep in his stomach when he thought of falling vulnerable to his hands and weak from his crystal eyes.

He was scared. He admitted it to himself, but he would never say it aloud.

Luke's hands were gentle; light, feathered fingers brushing lint off of his shirts when he saw the puffs of white or dancing digits atop his shoulder as he sat beside him on the very couch they soiled. Despite being so big, he didn't have any sharp edges. He wasn't pointed. He was soft with rounded curves and a voice sweet like honey yet deep as the ocean. He wasn't cold. He didn't have darkness in him.

How could he hurt him? How could he be capable of evil? He usually looked the exact opposite of malicious, of bloodthirsty. He looked like an angel.

Just not right now.

Not when he had on a pair of tiny black briefs and a black leather jacket hanging off his mile long shoulders. Not when he was walking towards him with confident, long strides like he was king of the world. Like he knew he was the most desirable man alive. Like he knew he had more to offer than anyone else Ashton could pick up.

Ashton slid his hand beneath the inside of his jacket before setting his palm flat against tje younger blond's shoulder blade. He pulled him closer to him and then looked between them as their bare upper bodies pressed together. It was dark in the room, dimmed lights and a clouded sky kept most things to the imagination but neither of them cared. Their eyes can only see in one dimension, but their hands, their bodies, can feel in thousands; the breath that tickled Ashton's upper lip, the dip of the bed from Luke's weight, the warmth of his skin beneath his hands, everything that would otherwise fo unnoticed because they're too busy looking instead of feeling.

"When I said get to know me," Luke's raspy voice murmured and Ashton tilted his head up at the sound. "- I meant my personality, my interests, and my aspirations in life."

He knew that. Normal people would go to dinner and run their mouths about themselves for what felt like forever before the bill came. They'd learn how many siblings the other has and the first embarrassing moment they had where everyone laughed at them. They'd find out what makes them laugh the hardest and what topics to avoid bringing up in the futures They'd fall in awkward silences. In five minute long giggle fits. In a sense of gratefulness for taking the chance and the time to see one another. But Ashton wasn't normal. He didn't feel like that was normal.

What better way to get to know him than for Ashton to learn the pattern of his fingerprints as they touched his skin and the sound of his labored breath when he's trying to keep up his cool façade? Than to watch what he does when he's so desperate he's shaking and to feel how his body reacts when his uncensored mouth and curious hands wondered the temple of his body?

He pressed his lips against the skin where Luke's freckled shoulders met his neck and the twenty-two year old threaded his fingers into the drummer's curly hair. He arched his back when teeth crazed his porcelain flesh and he let out a shaky breath. "I like music." He breathed out.

Ashton slid his other hand beneath the jacket he wore and then placed it on his opposite shoulder as Luke ground his hips down on to him. "I taught Calum guitar." He mumbled and Ashton pulled away to press his nose against the man's stubbled chin.

"Michael and I hated each other. He thought I was fake." He continued and Ashton looked up to the darkened shadow of his facial features. To the gentle shine of sweat on his nose and the hair that fell in his face.

"Are you?"

"Depends who you ask." Luke chuckled breathlessly. "But you don't care about that, do you? You don't care about the... non-physical things that make me who I am."

Ashton curled his fingers over Luke's shoulders and the blond raised himself on to his knees so they were closer together. "Tell me what you want from me." The twenty-four year old insisted as he felt the tent inside his boxers press against his stomach.

Luke pushed his forehead against his as he leaned over him. "Help me find out what I want." He answered and Ashton felt the zipper of his jacket press into his skin.

"Just how do you want me to do that?"

Luke didn't hesitate for even a moment. "Show me what you like and your idea of getting to know someone."

Ashton paused, his heart stopping for a second as he thought about just what he was asking of him. He was asking for his vulnerability. He was asking for complete honesty. He was asking for secrets that's gotten him in trouble and has made his soul rotten to the core. He's asking for a side of him he probably wasn't ready to see yet, a side that scared him to the point he his it away. He's asking for so much more than what he was originally going to give him, and he doesn't know if he's ready to comply just yet.

He was silent for too long and his silence was making Luke grow worried as anxiety built in his stomach.

"Ash?" Luke asked and then pulled away from him. "What's wrong? Was it something I said?"

He was snapped from his thoughts as he looked up at Luke. "You don't know what you're asking for." He ignored and then felt Luke pull his jacket around him.

"I think I do."

Ashton ran his tongue over his teeth gently as they stared at one another. Maybe he can still see the whites of his eyes and the curve of his face, but he couldn't see the look in his irises and the clench of his jaw.

He took a deep breath. "I think what I enjoy is that's a topic for another time." He finalized. "But if you want to know how I like to get to know people, I'll show you."

"Show me." Luke challenged and Ashton nodded before pressing his lips against the younger blond's.

"Happily." He whispered.

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