Unordinary Gamer Girl (Seokjin x Reader)

The Littlest bit of Weight

~A month later~

"Wait, you're serious? You haven't told Seokjin about your life yet?" Juliee asked, as she stared at me in disbelief. "I don't know if I want to tell him..." I used my spoon to move the egg around my plate. "Is it that hard?" Hailey asked in a quiet tone. "Well... don't you remember how long it took for me to tell you guys my problem?" I asked, looking up at my friends. They looked at one another, and shrugged. "I guess you did take a while, but you eventually came around when you were comfortable with us," Taylor answered. I sighed at her response, "That's my point." "You're not comfortable with Seokjin?" June asked. "Well... it's not like that. I mean, I am comfortable with him, but I don't know if I'm at that stage. The stage of telling him my past, and my issues," I said, then I looked at the egg trapped underneath my spoon. "I think it'll be better if you told him soon. If you don't, he'll feel like you don't trust him," Kim went back to eating. "It's better than sitting on the subject," Juliee added. "Yeah, like that egg and spoon," Yuu pointed at my plate. I sighed, "It's not like I'm not planning to tell him or anything. I do plan on telling him, I just don't know when I want to tell him." The others looked at one another. "We can't force her. Time will let her know when she should tell him," Hailey said, softly. "She's right, we can't force it, can we? It's not like she's going to keep it a secret for a long time," June sighed, before leaning back against her chair. "You're right! She couldn't even keep her secret quiet with us," Taylor reminded. "First of all, that was your fault. You peer pressured me to tell you. Second of all, that's exactly what I'm saying. I'm not going to keep it away from him for long. After all, he's my boyfriend," I said. Yuu looked over at Kim, "What do you think?" Kim looked over to Yuu with confusion. "I already gave my opinion. She's shouldn't keep it away from him for long, or else he'll think she doesn't trust him," then she went back to eating.

~After a while~

As I was editing a video, I stopped and leaned back against my chair. My chair creaked as I applied my weight to it. "They're right... if I keep this up, in no time, he'll think I'm keping secrets that I don't trust him with," I thought as my eyes started drawing their way to the ceiling. "But then again... I don't know when I want to tell him, or when I think it's appropriate to tell him. After all, it'll take me a while to be comfortable enough to tell him," I let out a long sigh. "Well, I guess I should start asking, shouldn't I?" Seokjin's words echoed throughout my head. "He hasn't asked me a single thing... did he forget? Or does he understand that I'm too afraid to tell him?" I thought. After a while, I was sitting upright and back to editing. The thought of telling Seokjin twirled around my head. When I was done editing the video, I sat back and grabbed my phone. With my phone in hand, I started going online and searched up my YouTube name. I went through all the provided website and articles, and not a single one of them had an insight on my family. That just goes to show how secretive I am about my past, and my family members. It has been made official that I do have a family, since people were getting suspicious. But after all that, no one has questioned or brought it up with me. As I was reading through some information, I received a text from Seokjin. "Wanna hang out?"

~After a few minutes~

"So..." I looked at Seokjin as we stared at one another, making eye contact. "What's wrong with you? You seem very unsettled ever since I arrived," he gave a concerned look. "You're not sick or anything, right?" he asked, leaning in closer to me. I was quick to shake my head, dismissing his concerns for me. He breathed out with relief, "That's good to know." Then we were back to staring at one another, the silence constricting my lungs. "You look like you have something on your mind," Seokjin pointed out. "I- well I... maybe I do," I crossed my arms. "Then what's on your mind?" he asked, staring intensely at me. I sighed, "You never asked me." My response made Seokjin give me a confused face. "I never asked you what?" he asked, confused. "About my family," I answered. His mouth made an 'o' shape, "Oh yeah. Well, I thought you would be uncomfortable, so I reframed from asking." Then Seokjin started analyzing my facial expression, "Did you want me to ask you?" I gave a small shrug. "If you want to," I answered, "I- well... I just don't want to make it seem like I don't trust you." Seokjin laughed, "Why would I think that? It's okay if you don't want to, I'll wait if I need to." I felt a small smile appear on my face. "Thanks..." I smiled. A silence surrounded the both of us once more. "But, I'm okay with you asking a few questions... it's better than keeping it all a secret." Seokjin gave me a shocked expression, "Really?" I nodded. I watched as he sat back, like he didn't believe my words. "Then... could I ask you about your family problems?" Seokjin carefully asked, scared that I might lash out at him for asking me the question. Although I've been avoiding it, I didn't want to keep all my secrets to myself. Each time I did, it only put more weight on me. Even so, I managed with the weight placed on me. But, the littlest bit of weight lifted is helpful enough for me. That's why I act like I don't care the majority of the time, because I have so much to carry. (Oh my gosh, my old way of writing contains so much irrelevant information)

"Well, I'll start from the beginning... for my family, there's a ridiculous rule. The rule is to always be feminine, and never be boyish. Anything that can relate to a boy, is immediately bad for you. For me, I fell in love with gaming. This caused shame on my family name, well for my family I was raised in. So that's my family issue, but it's mostly applies to my mom," I said, making Seokjin look at me with shock. I could see the eagerness to learn more.

I hoped you enjoyed!
~XutieMiako