hands ⟶ namjin

vierundsiebzig - das ende

hi! this! is! the! last! chapter! wow this has been a journey I love to write 74 chapters in like 6 months thats pretty hot xoxoxoxxox also sorry if this hits u in the feels cause im totally not crying writing this im not sure what ur on about also dont search bts with beards because thats not a good look. but yeah um thank u for reading xoxoxoxo you can read my other book(s) if you want (I haven't published some of them yet while writing this) or not too because thats okay if you didn't really like this book that much but um bye follow my twitter lmao

go read my book called white noise pls ily bye its namjin bye 

THERE IS ALSO AN ALTERNATE ENDING NOW PUBLISHED (as of jan2021) IF YOU HATE THIS... READ THE OTHER ONE HAHAH

20 years later

kim seokjin, a now black haired man, fourty-five years of age, slipped his arms into his long, also grey, pea coat. standing next to him was his tall husband, kim namjoon, fourty-three years of age, wearing the same dimple smile on his face that he had worn for years. jin kept his eyes on his beautiful husband, who he felt was still as handsome as the day they met.

the house was too quiet, almost eerie. neither men spoke a word as they both walked out of the front door. jin knew where he was going, he just assumed namjoon would follow behind him ⎯⎯ as always.

the older passed a little art shop and stopped in his tracks for a moment. his mind exploded with all the memories that came flooding back to him just by taking a glance at the building. he remembered standing behind that counter, how it used to be home to millions of coffee beans and different types of syrups (not to mention the money stashed inside of it's drawers). he remembered that now tinted window, and his husband who sat at the small table the day they first met. he also remembered standing directly in the middle of the shop, turning around and noticing that the love of his life was about to ask jin to marry him.

jin let the thoughts roam his mind for a few minutes before he carried on walking, trying not to let the memories overwhelm him. his shoes crunched up autumnal leaves beneath his feet and his nose went red in the chilly air surrounding him. usually in this weather namjoon would be cupping jin's hands in his own, trying to warm them up, and keeping his husband close by his side, but not today. today namjoon was walking with his hands in his pockets, staring at the ground.

eventually they arrived at the place jin wanted to be.

a graveyard.

jin took a deep breath before entering through the gates, walking down the pathway in the centre and stopping where he needed to. he sat on a bench nearby and looked around him. his beloved husband was nowhere to be seen, apart from one place.

it wasn't his husband's figure, nor his face.

it was his name, carved elegantly into a marble stone, surrounded by flowers. thousands of them. there was notes, art and candles scattered around the stone too.

jin turned around, hoping that something would click, all of this would fade away and he'd be able to hold his husband one more time,

but he couldn't. namjoon was gone, and it hadn't hit him until now. he had visited the stone every day since he died, but each day he felt like namjoon was still next to him. now it felt like his heart had been ripped out of his chest and destroyed in front of him.

jin had to accept that he was never going to be fully content again.

so did yoongi, and hoseok, and taehyung (who had grown to like namjoon over the years.)

so currently jin's hands didn't look all that nice, wiping away the tears that streamed from his eyes in a never-ending flow.

but he was going to have to learn to celebrate the joyful life of his beloved late husband, and hope that he could find happiness in something else. he would never love anyone the same as he loved namjoon, ever. nothing could replace the love of his life.