You'll be the Death of Me

Chapter 71

Graces stared up at Gryffindor tower from edge of the Forbidden Forest. She breathed in the crisp air and let her mind float with the small bits of snow falling softly down like stardust from the gods. The world was beautiful. People were ugly, but the world kept its immortal gleam. She had been standing under the canopy of branches for hours watching nothing but the snow fall and hearing only the soft whispers of the wind.

Her thumb rubbed the arch of her broomstick and she felt the wood hum from the touch. She closed her eyes as the wind, moon and stars called to her, beckoned her to cast off her worries into the open sky and leave them for the gods. But she still wasn't ready, not yet. She needed to feel and remember everything for a little longer.

She hadn't cried when she emerged from the pensieve. She was shaking like a leaf and she lost her stomach a few times, but she kept the tears at bay. She wasn't sure how she did it, but she did. Both boys had kept their eyes carefully on her, as though they suspected worse than her just losing her breakfast on the castle floor.

The images and screams still echoed in the crevices of her mind. She tried not to let the memories get too near to her thoughts, but when she pushed them away she was left with Graham's haunted eyes. He had not said a word to her all through Draco's quiet explanations and Draco didn't ask him to. Of all the memories she saw Graham's were the worst of them. Draco had seen death and torture, but Graham had bore witness to atrocities that made her thank the gods her brother had not allowed them to run away.

When she had finally left the Room of Requirement, thankful to be alone and have a moment, Graham had hurried after her. At first she had just stood there in the hall waiting for him to say something, but after a few moments she understood he wanted her to say something to him.

"There was nothing you could have done, Graham," she rasped, the image of a girl only five years her senior being dragged by her hair naked into an empty room for a fate worse than death was seared into her very soul. "Nothing."

"You once said that Snape would burn in hell for the evil he had allowed," Graham murmured quietly into the darkness of the hall. "I've made peace with what I will face in the afterlife. My only concern now is whether you could have peace being by my side in this life."

"What you did, you did for your family," Graces reminded, her voice ringing in the silence as she walked over towards him. "There was nothing you could have done for any of those people, Graham. Nothing. Any act to save them would have been condemning your own loved ones. You have nothing to be ashamed of."

"I've killed people, Graces." If Graham was the type of bloke to cry, Graces was sure he would have shed a tear at that statement. "My hands have been caked in blood. It's more than I just allowed evil to happen. I've done evil."

"What you have done is saved your family," Graces stressed, taking Graham's hand in her own. "That's not evil, Graham. And I for one am proud to call you my friend and honored that you would even think to have me as anything more."

Graham had stood there staring at her for what seemed like eternity. It was different looking into Graham's face. He showed nothing. It wasn't like when she looked into Neville's and could see and feel what he was thinking. When she looked up at Graham she was lost. She hoped her words helped him, prayed she had given him peace, but there was no way to tell. Graham had just taken his hand out of hers and turned back to the room to join Draco.

There was no smile, no nod of acknowledgment, nothing. He just took his hand away and left.

The cold around her seemed to increase at the memory and Graces pulled her cloak closer to her body before looking back up at the soft glow from the window of the tower. It was well into the night now. She had spent the afternoon and evening mulling over all that she now knew. She avoided going back to the room. She wasn't ready to face Neville, to answer his questions and listen to what he had to say.