The Name // Park Junhee

; fourteen ;

My body tensed as I realised it was Donghun.

He casually took a seat beside me on the bed, hand reaching mine, drawing circles on it as he pulled it closer to him.

“What happened to us?” he asked, his voice soft almost melted me like a cup of ice cream on a hot day.

God I miss that voice.

“I don’t know.” My voice came out as a whisper. He furrowed his brows at my reply.

I didn’t even realise I was crying until his thumb softly wiped the tears on my cheeks.

“I bet we have a lot of things to talk about.” I spoke up after awhile.

I could hear him heaved a soft sigh, lowered his head. He stared at his lap, thumbs still softly caressing my hand.

“I'm sorry.” He whispered between his breath, only then I realised he was crying. His tears dropped on my hand.

I acted on impulse, closing the distance between us and wrapped my arms around him. He returned the hug almost immediately, burying his face into the crook of my neck and repeated “I'm sorry” like a broken record.

We stayed in that position for a few minutes before I pulled away. He wiped his tears with his sleeve, eyes still fixated on his lap.

“We don’t have to talk about this if you're not ready.” I said, lying when I was the one who was not ready to talk, who was not ready to let him go, to spend the rest of my life without the love that I treasured the most.

He lifted his head, eyes meeting mine and were full of emotions. His hands slowly reaching my face and without any warning, he crashed his lips on mine, pouring all of his emotions into the kiss.

It was a slow kiss, I missed this, we missed this. I couldn’t even remember how mad I was at this man, how disappointed I was, all I could think of was that exact moment.

His lips moving along with mine, his hands on both side of my face. I brought my hand to his neck, slowly playing with the locks of his hair.

It didn’t take long before the sad, soft kiss turned into a hot, passionate one. He started to bit on my lower lips and it took only a few moments before our tongues met and the next thing I knew he was on top of me.

We cleaned ourselves right after and were cuddling on my bed after changing into our pajamas. He had his hands wrapped around me and his lips were busy planting kisses on my neck.

I turned around to face him and I couldn’t help but to admire his beauty, I swear he was the most beautiful person I've seen my entire life.

I peck his lips before pulled away again and stared him straight in the eyes,

“Let's break up.” My voice was low. His smile faded, I could feel his body tensed at my words.

His eyes stared into mine, looking for any sort of joke but of course he found none.

“What do you mean?” he finally asked after some moments.

“I mean let's break up. Let's stop whatever we're doing right now. Let's stop hurting the innocent people who we've hurt for the past year.”

“You mean Sua?” I shivered when the cold air hit my skin as he unwrapped his hand from my body, sitting up, now his eyes showed nothing but anger.

“I told you I don’t wanna be with her, I wanna be with you.”

I followed him and sat up on the bed, fingers playing with the hem of the comforter. I didn’t want to show my nervousness but I think it's enough acting.

“But your heart says otherwise.”

“What do you mean?”

“You slept together.” I mumbled.
His eyes widen at my statement, an earthquake in his eyes, mouth opening and then closing again, looking for the right thing to say.

“I met with her the other day.” I continued didn’t even bother to wait for his reply.

“She told me everything. And now...” I looked at him straight in the eyes, “I want to hear your side of the story, and please... Be honest. No more lies, no more secrets. Please.”

He sighed, running his hand through his brown hair.

“I’m sorry.” He whispered.

He then took my hand in his, drawing circles with his thumb, “I’ll tell you everything.”

“Please.” I replied, sounded calmer than earlier.

“It started the day when I spent the night there. I swear nothing happened that night, I swear I didn’t lie when I said I fell asleep at her house, I swear everything I told you was real, I swear with all my heart.” I nodded, assuring him that I trusted him.

“But I went there again... The next day.” He bit his lower lip. I remember that was the day when I slept in his room but he never came in, passing out in the couch claiming he was too tired to go into the bedroom.

“She told me there are some corrections needed to be done on our project and that she was too weak to go out so I decided we should just do it at her place. We worked on the project for a few hours until it finished.

“She insisted that I stayed for dinner so I did. We talked about a few stuffs, family, our relationship and all, and that was when I realised she's nothing like how I imagined her to be. She was the exact opposite of what I expected of her.

“I felt a lot fonder of her after our talks. I don’t know, I guess it's because she's my... She has my name on her. I didn’t know what had gotten into me, and it happened so fast. I didn’t even realise it. It's just... It just happened.”

He buried his face in his palms, frustrated.

“I came back home feeling guilty as hell that's why I decided to sleep on the couch. Because I didn’t want my dirty hands to touch you. You didn’t deserve any of this.” He whispered the last part.

I took a deep breath, “you came back for more? All those nights you came home late, you were there right?” I asked, forcing him.

The silent he gave me answered it all. I knew it. “It was great, wasn’t it? I heard how amazing it is when we're with our soulmate. How addictive it is.”

“Junhee please.”

“I don’t know if Sua ever mentioned about this but I promised her something.” I bit my inner cheeks at the mention of the promise.

This is it. Am I ready for this?