The Name // Park Junhee

; ten ;

"Let me just get this straight to the point.” She sounded firm, though her voice was still as soft as earlier. My palms were getting sweaty, I bit my lower lips out of nervousness, the temperature suddenly dropped to the lowest point.

“I’m sure by now you noticed that I know the fact that you are aware I’m Donghun’s soulmate. Sorry, Donghun told me about it. And I know you guys have been together for a long time, 3 years if I'm not mistaken right?” I nodded, answering the question which I sure was rhetorical.

“And I know I don’t have any right over him, he's not mine, he’s yours. His heart is yours.” Sehyoon's words suddenly hit me like a truck, “Sleeping with someone who's not rightfully yours”.

Donghun is not rightfully mine, he's hers. She has all the right to own him. And yet, here she is, talking to me about him like he's no one, humbly saying that her soulmate is not hers, but mine?

“But who am I kidding? Who am I even trying to lie? I need him. Hell, I crave for him.” At this point she sounded so weak that I felt like she could pass out anytime. Tears welled up in her eyes.

“I crave for him that I did something so dumb and now I feel like I've sinned and the only person that can reward me forgiveness is you.”

Confuse is an understatement, I was petrified of what would come next, of where this is leading to and as to what happened that she felt like she had sinned, towards me.

“What actually happened?” was all I could ask, was all that I could get out of my mouth.

She took a deep breath, trying to calm herself down. “I...” she sighed. “We...” she tried again, her eyes were everywhere but me, trying to avoid my burning gaze as I got impatient.

“We had sex.” She let it all out in one breath, saying it as fast as she could, her voice getting softer than it already was.

The time stopped, I didn’t know if it was hot or cold I was feeling, my head was spinning, everything around me was disappearing to white, I couldn’t hear anything other than the rapid beating of my heart, so many things were going on in my head but nothing could come out of my mouth.

The girl in front of me was looking at me with all sorts of emotions in her eyes, anticipating my answer. I wanted to curse but to who? I wanted to yell but Sua wasn’t the one at fault? I just wanted to disappear.

“Park Junhee please say something. Just anything.” Her voice was trembling, almost begging.

“I don’t even know what to say.” My voice came out as whisper.

“I'm so sorry.” I looked up upon hearing that and saw the tears rolling down her cheeks and that was when it dawned on me, this shouldn’t happen.

This should be the other way around. She shouldn’t be the one who's apologizing, she shouldn’t be the one who's begging for forgiveness, she shouldn’t be the one to cry out of guilt.

I wasn’t the one who feels the pain when Donghun had sex with someone, I wasn’t the one who had his name on my skin, I wasn’t the one whose soul connected to him, it wasn’t me, it's her.

My hand slowly moving towards her, holding her hand in mine, slowly caressing it.

“Please don’t apologize. You didn’t do anything wrong. It’s in our nature to crave for our soulmate. I'm so sorry. The reason why I didn’t know you guys slept together is because I don’t feel the pain, because I don’t have his name on my skin.

"But you... You bear it for over a year, all the pain, mentally and physically. I should be the one apologizing, for not thinking once about how you feel.”

My voice was low, almost like a whisper. I swallowed my tears, biting down my lower lip until I could taste a drop of blood on my tongue.

My eyes looked up to look at hers when I saw the hurricane of emotions in her eyes. She kept her head down, teeth biting down her inner lips as she kept quiet, I was waiting for her reply but I was sure I wouldn’t get any anytime soon so instead I said the only thing that I could think of,

“He's yours, the God made you guys for each other and keep my word, I will return him to you, to the place he belongs to. I promise you and I will never ever break it. You have my words.”

I could careless about my feelings, I could careless about the promise I made with Donghun, I just didn’t care about anything other than the fragile girl in front of me.

I got into the car and immediately let out the heavy breath I didn’t know I was holding. The girl had walked into her car, sped off to the other side of the city as soon as she got in. While I was still trying to digest every single thing that happened earlier.

I put my head on the wheel, closed my eyes and just allowing all the tears I've been holding from earlier flow out like a waterfall. Everything is too much to take so I just let everything out in order for me to have enough space to absorb everything in.

A week passed and I was trying hard to avoid Donghun. I wad afraid that I might break down if I see him. I haven’t talked to him about my meeting with Sua.

I just couldn’t bring myself to do it. Talking about it means I have to fulfill my promise to Sua. To return what's rightfully hers.

We started to get distance. We rarely talked, we didn’t even sleep together anymore, he always got home late and I always made sure that I went to bed before he got home. It was the worst.

I didn’t want to talk to anyone about it but I could feel my feelings were eating me alive.

And of course, my scar hurt from time to time, still making me wonder what exactly happening to this Soeun. It worried me at times when the pain was getting worse.

There was one night where I felt it burnt like hell, the pain that I felt when I first got the name woke me up from my sleep, and it stayed for a few days before it subsided eventually.

It was weekend and I was trying to keep myself busy with my assignments though it wasn’t much of a help, when my phone rang, notifying me of an incoming call, woke me up from my trance.

I took it out from my back pocket and a smile immediately took over my feature as I saw the contact name; Kang Yuchan <3.