The morning on January 1st was sunny and while it was cold, light streamed onto Matt's bed. I didn't know what time it was. I didn't care.
Rolling over, Matt was fast asleep with a little smile on his lips. Was it strange to watch someone sleep? Involved in my thoughts, it was a pleasant sight first thing in the morning.
On his cheeks were dark stubble where he hadn't shaved in a few days. I wanted to reach over and feel the hair, but I knew it would wake him up. Speckled across his the bridget of his nose and across his cheek, freckles decorated his skin. They were so cute. They were the kind of freckled you saw on little kids, or the ones that girls on tumblr drew on. I liked them the most on Matt though.
"Are you watching me sleep?" I heard the grumble of Matt's morning voice.
"Don't worry, i'm just counting your freckles," I joked with a cheeky smile.
"How many are there?" Matt pulled me towards him, in the mood for a cuddle.
"Well I've lost count now," I sighed dramatically, flipping on my back.
Chuckling, Matt rolled over to look at me.
"When we graduate, every morning could be like this," Matt said dreamily. "Every night could be like last night,"
But I knew it wouldn't. When we graduate, I'll be going straight to New York, but only now I began to think about Matt in this plan. What would happen? He couldn't come with me, but what was he going to do, what were we going to do? Matt wouldn't go to college and knowing him, he'd want to do his music.
"Matt?" i swallowed. I needed to tell him about New York and especially the record deal.
"Yeah princess?"
"When I was in New York, I went to a few meetings for record contracts," I began, sitting up straight, not wanting to make eye contact, looking into my lap. "And I got signed. To Columbia records,"
Matt's face went into a massive astounded grin, chuckling.
"Margot!" He engulfed me in a hug, kissing me widely on the mouth. "Are you serious. That's incredible,"
"I'll be moving to New York when I graduate," I announced. Matt stayed silent.
"I'm so proud of you. This is what you want," He smiled. We were thinking the same thing, but Matt was happy for me. That was a testament of his character.
"You realise I'm going away," I brought up quietly, looking up at the ceiling.
"Margot," Matt put his hand on my leg, putting an arm around me. "I'll still love you regardless. We can make it work, I can come visit my superstar girlfriend in the big apple, "
Love me? Holy shit, he said it, and the moment he did, everything I felt for him was confirmed for me. I was afraid of loving him at first. What if I was to get feelings that weren't reciprocated. Now, I knew they were.
"Margot?" Matt asked, concerned that I was so quiet. "It's okay if you don't feel like that. You know that feeling like that is perfectly valid.
"Matt, I love you too," I assured him hastily, leaning over kissing him. "I'm just in shock,"
"Shock?" Matt frowned. He must had been so confused. What if he thought I didn't love him and I was saying it so it wouldn't be awkward
"I just wasn't expecting for you to say that to me," I tucked a strand of hair behind my ear. "I wasn't prepared for my feelings to be reciprocated,"
"Oh," Matt's mouth was shaped in an 'o'.
"I love you" I consoled, trying to make sure he wasn't worried, cuddling up to him, wrapping my leg around him.
"I love you too," Matt pecked my forehead, pulling my body closer to his..
We stayed in bed until we couldn't any longer and as we had our intimate little conversations, I couldn't help but think about the fact that I was going to New York.
I had always been okay with the finite nature of everything. But now being emotionally invested into someone, I couldn't manage thinking about being parted with them. What if everything would work well for my music and I'd end up being in New York for a long time. Matt wouldn't want to live there. Somehow it just felt like the beginning of the end.
