anonymity was never an option

108: castiel

Castiel woke up dizzy and confused.

He gasped for a breath as soon as he saw the daylight hit his face.

He didn't even have time to fully open his eyes before he mumbled the first word that came to his mind.

"Dean?"

He held his head between his hands, as most of his vision was blurry and dark.

A shadow approached him as he focused on making out the room in front of him.

He was on the couch.

"Hey Cas." Dean said quietly, kneeling beside him.

"What's going on?"

"You blacked out."

"What?" He squinted his eyes, starting to sit up.

"You um... you passed out Cas."

"Sorry." Castiel grabbed his throbbing head in his hands and closed his eyes.

"What are you apologizing for? It's not something you can control, just relax and um... how about some crackers or an apple?" Dean's caring voice sounded so smooth beside him, he wanted to look over and face him but the sun shining in from the window was overwhelming.

"Why?"

"Your blood sugar gets low."

"Oh um, apple then." Cas mumbled, regaining his balance to lift himself into a sitting position.

"God, I had the weirdest dream..."

"Oh yeah?" Dean said, his voice becoming more faint as he walked away.

"My dad was here. But that's like... impossible."

"Not really." A voice said.

Castiel knew it wasn't Dean. The voice was too different. He immediately opened his eyes and started panicking as he looked around the room. It didn't take him long before his eyes met the unfamiliar gray eyes of his father.

"Holy shit." Castiel mumbled, jumping back into the couch.

"Hey, hey, calm down son."

"Calm down?! That's not an option at this point. What are you doing here?"

"I stopped by to see if you were alright after... what happened with Michael."

"What happened with Michael? He fucking died, dad. And you weren't there." Castiel rubbed his forehead, trying to ignore the midst of a headache that was forming.

"I'm sorry."

Dean came back in the room and set the green apple that was in his hands out on to the table in front of Cas, sitting down on the couch cushion next to him.

Castiel looked down at the apple and then felt as his weight naturally starting leaning towards Dean.

He stopped himself before his head landed on his shoulder.

"So what do you want? I only see you once a year, and quite frankly this doesn't look like Christmas." Cas grumbled.

"Is it too much of me to just want to see my son?"

"It's never that simple."

His father turned his head away from him and took a deep breath.

"I suppose you're right." He sighed. "I've come to offer you a job."

"A...what?"

"A job."

"Are you serious?" Castiel removed his hand from off of his head.

"I have an upper management position coming free next month at hq and I'd like you to fill the spot."

"Why me? Just hire someone else."

"Because I wanted it to go to one of you boys, and Gabriel doesn't seem as responsible."

"So what you're saying is... you wanted Michael, but you'll settle for me."

"I didn't say that..." His father started to defend himself.

"Forget it. Not happening."

"You're turning it down?" He sounded surprised at Castiel's response.

"I'm not moving to Canada with you, to help you do whatever the hell it is you do."

"It's the family business Castiel. It's supposed to be yours someday, remember?"

"I have a life here, dad! I have a chance to be who I want to be for once. Not you, not mom, not anyone telling me what I can and can't do... and it's amazing."

"You'll reconsider."

"I don't think I will." Castiel shook his head as he spoke gently, but with confidence.

"If you think so." His father said, the disappointment lingering in his voice.

Castiel felt Dean elbow him, and he knew he had been a little to harsh. He looked over to Dean with a scowl and then back to his dad.

"I'm sorry. But I'm not like you. I'm not like Michael. I'm not like anyone in this whole damn family. You should find someone who actually deserves that spot." He spoke softly.

His dad nodded as he closed his eyes. When he opened them again, Castiel saw the broken man behind the facade of a powerful executive.

"Okay." His voice regained its strength. "I hope whatever you choose to do with your independence makes you happy. If you don't want to be like us... then I hope you find what makes you... you."

For a minute, Castiel felt the comfort of the father he knew as a child. Before he disappeared. Back when he used to care.

"I suppose it's time for me to head out then."

"Are you sure you don't want to um... join us for dinner?" Dean piped in, a beacon of peacemaking as he typically tended to be around Cas.

"Thanks Dean, but I should probably head back, my flight leaves at 9." He said, raising himself up out of the chair.

"Alright, well have a safe trip then... oh and uh, next time you want to just randomly stop in can you let me know first, so I can cover the floor in pillows?"

"Shut up." Castiel rolled his eyes and he couldn't help but smile at Dean's remark.

His father laughed at Dean's remark, returning the smile that Castiel gave.

"Will do."