Can you love a ghost? // H.S✔️

41. Are they ok?

I slowly walk into the school gates and look up at the big building. I take one last look round to my mum who is ushering me in. I sigh and take a moment before I hold my head up and walk in. I walk to my first class as I've skipped morning room with mr Payne and head to maths class which is my worse subject.

I take a seat in an empty row and wait for the rest of the class to join us and of course Louis walks in and takes a seat next to me.

"Morning" he sets his bag on the table and pulls out his work books.

I keep my head straight and ignore him.

"Oh come on. I was joking. I was just messing around about Harry"

"Whatever Louis. Just quit talking about him"

"Alright I will. So do you have a boyfriend or not?"

"No! Alright no I do not have a boyfriend!"

I kills me to say it I do I have my Harry. But for the sake of arguing I'm just going to have to play this card for the moment.

"So why did you make one up?"

"Because I didn't want my friends to know what a shit time I'm having here"

"Wow"

He turns his back to me obviously taking what I've just said aimed at him. Which it isn't well mostly it's not it's aimed at red bitch.

"You know I don't mean you, I mean Jenny you've got to admit she's made my life hell here!"

Louis nods but keeps his eyes forward and decides to partake in the class instead of chatting to me. It does me a favour as I really need to catch up on school work since I've missed so much recently. The class comes to an end and we all get up and gather our things.

"Louis I'm sorry. I didn't mean it like it came out. You know I'm not including you in my hellish life. You have made it worth while"

"You know what Holly. I've tried and tried with you. I've been so patient with you and I've got nothing from it. No thanks, no friendship. nothing. It's like you don't want friends here. You're pushing everyone away that's tried. And I'm done with trying, you obviously want to be alone so now you are."

I stand there with my mouth open words have failed me for once. Maybe he's right I've been so engrossed with Harry that I have pushed people away. I didn't realise I was doing it. I watch him walk out the class room without looking back and I see him meet up with red bitch outside the classroom door. My heart sinks a little. I've completely blown it. I throw my bag over my head and walk out of school. What's the point. No one knows I'm there. Not one person will notice I'm missing from school. What about from life? Yes I have my London crew but I don't see them anymore. I've convince my mum and dad now that I'm fine here and have made friends I can't go back on my word she'll know I made everything up.

I walk the long walk home with tears staining my face. I can't wait to be with Harry. He makes me complete no one has ever connected with me other than Harry not even Aaron. I look forward to our evenings together that I've struck off all school work and social life. He is my life and I'm kidding myself that I could eventually move on from him. Have you ever wanted some so much you die for them? I'm getting to that point now. Sure my mum and dad would be upset for a while but they'll learn to live without me. All they do is work I'm sure I won't be missed too much. I know I've fallen into a deep depression I can't see a way out.

***

After about an hour an a half I've got to my bedroom. Out of breath from crying and feeling emotionally drained. I've had thoughts running through my head all this time I need an escape.