Expectations and Reality

Chapter 34 | ARE YOU THE ONE?

Let there be spaces in your togetherness.

Khalil Gibran

☆☆☆

Surprise and amusement filled Lina. Even with her blurry eyes she could slightly see the man behind that voice, by the door. She was surprised, not by what he said but how he finally pushed aside all his nervousness and spoke up for the first time. Indeed, it was a great step, worth all the time wasted before.

That was what she has been hoping for years. For him to finally find another happiness, to move on in life and know that a great blessing is awaiting him.

"Abuya?" Her voice was still filled with the initial amusement at first sight.

"Yes. It's me Lina"

As he said that, he walked up to the awning and sat beside Lina. "I will, Amrah" he repeated, his voice much more firm and audible than before. Still, Lina was astonished. "If you'll allow me"

"Sir?" Ms Amrah finally found her voice even though the words hooked up in her throat before they battled in coming out. She too was astonished.

"Malik. You call me Malik" the way he said that, it was soft full of care and sympathy.

"You heard?"

"Yes. I heard all that you said. All. From your parents to you..uhm...ex"

He couldn't look into her eyes. The more he did that the more he could easily sight regret and loneliness in her eyes and that, did brought the daylight out of him. He look far ahead of her, not meeting her gaze any more, as he spoke. She needed comfort, how could he provide her with such. He can't stand the sight of her breaking and losing hope. He needed to do something, help her out of all that she had say, bring her back to her olden days and amend everything back to normal.

"Amrah, you aren't a young woman, you're a responsible woman and you know what you're doing. I know it might sound chilly to you but even with its chilliness know that I'm sure of what I'm saying. We both are responsible, we know what we're doing and we have all been to that stage even tho we have different perspective to it. I know one side of it and you know the other.

You have been betrayed and deceived. You were left on a cliffhanger with no rescue but that didn't stop you from moving on in life. Despite all the tears you shed, all the nights you ended sleepless and all the nights you cried yourself to sleep, it didn't stop you from moving on in life. It didn't stop you from pursuing your dreams. You became what you wanted since childhood.

Would now be the time when you'll slide down your identity, tore it and burn it down? No Amrah! For every female, her identity is being in either her parent's house or at her husband's. Why did you turn your back from those who raised you to who you are in life. No matter what happens, you can't change the fact. You can't erase their name from yours. Everywhere you go, you go together with their name, it's your identity. But now aren't you being selfish? You abandon them and still make use of their name. If not then why not leave the name too behind? It's for your own good Amrah"

She clench her eyes shut, her head bowed down in shame. No matter how hard she tries to forget it, she knows definitely one day there'll be someone who will tell her the truth, the bitter truth. She knows what she did was wrong, but still she tries to make herself admit to it that it was the best choice to her life. Now, she couldn't deny it anymore or convince herself. The truth is out to her ears. Whether she accepts it or not, that's the truth and it'll forever remain like that.

When she looked up, her eyes were darker than their initial dark colour. The kohl Lina applied to her eyes earlier that morning has already messed up her face. She looked swollen and pale. Very pale, precisely. When her eyes locked with Lina's she could she a sparkle of happiness in her eyes even though they're wet, wet with tears and mascara. She wondered what that happiness could be.