How to Save a Life: Newt x Reader (EDITED)

Chapter 13: Second Thoughts and Doubts

It's a week before your birthday. You notice that most of the people you know are starting to slip away from you. Even Newt, and that really scared you. The only time you ever talked was during meals and you rarely talked about anything. You stopped going to the forest every night and you sometimes see Newt go in there with a couple of other guys. That including Minho, Gally, Winston, Frypan, Jeff, Clint, Zart, and Alby.

You were in rage that he gave away your secret place. You distracted yourself from the pain by working on random things. You pulled weeds, fed the animals, visited your brother every break, and wrote your thoughts on a piece of paper.

One day, you went to go play your guitar, and went to your hut to fetch it...it was gone! You thought you had misplaced it and asked around, but no one said they had seen it anywhere. You were furious and suspicious that they knew exactly where it was. 

You didn't sleep well. You kept on having the same dream over and over again about the alarms and you trying to escape, uh-what's it called? WICKED!

Even though you were trying to distract yourself, you started to have second thoughts on whether being in a relationship in the glade was a good idea. You even started to doubt that he even liked you anymore and that really hurt. But, you couldn't do anything to hurt yourself because deep inside, you knew that these boys needed you and you knew that showing your pain on your body will only add on to the pain you are already feeling.

It took a lot of effort, but you made it through the week and your birthday was in two days. Everyone is excited about it. The boys are mumbling amongst themselves and chuckling or giggling whenever you walked by, leaving you confused and a little scared.

Small time skip---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

It's the day before your birthday. NO ONE seems to be noticing or saying anything. 
They must have forgotten you thought to yourself.

You went to visit your brother on your break. You told him everything about how you were feeling, about having the same dream over and over again, and how you are having second thoughts.

"Everything is going to be okay, Y/N." Justin said in a low whisper. "Everything.Is.Going.To Be.Ok." 
Justin's eyes slipped closed and he started his normal round of screaming and grunting. "Thank for the advice, bro." you whispered sarcastically.

That night, you barely talked to anyone, and anyone barely talked to you and that was Frypan who only said "Here you go, Y/N" and "Your welcome" before and after giving you your meal. You only gave him a small smile and went to sit alone by a log.

That night was hard for you to sleep. Worse than is has been the last week. But you eventually fell into an uneasy unconsciousness. 

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------A/N Sorry the update is soooo short, I wanted to put in the birthday chapter tomorrow because guess what?

...THE READER'S BIRTHDAY IS TOMORROW! 

Tomorrow marks the end of the month and the reader's birthday is at the end of the month! If you're birthday is literally June 30th, then HAPPY BIRTHDAY GREENE! ;)

Oh yeah, sorry the chapter was depressing, but I've been having a rough 7-8 months because of some biological family issues. Don't worry, they are being taken care of, but no promises are made.

But, there was a certain message hidden in the book if you didn't catch it...

Please don't do self harm. I tried it for the first time yesterday because I couldn't take the pain anymore. Don't worry, it's a one time thing and my family talked to me about it last night and this morning and I will be getting another little pep talk from my sister (yay me)

Self harm doesn't do anyone any good, it will only add on to the pain you are already feeling and it doesn't make you feel better at all. But, talking to your loved ones will. I still am hurt, but I feel a little better. So, if you have any of these thoughts, talk to someone, anyone! You have a beautiful life ahead of you and it's good to move on from the past, but don't forget the past because it can help you learn in the future.

Until next time my precious Greenies!
~Mer-Bear