Card Tricks -Jikook

Slight of Hand

Do you know the way it irks you when there is a completely empty bus - perfect spaced out solitude, and when the next stop comes, that particular stranger decided that the absolute most logical place to sit is right next to you? Not only does he ignore that there is literally a choice of any other seat available, but he ends up smelling funny too.

So now you're sitting right next to a stranger with a smell that you can't place, and because you are socially awkward you don't move or shift over a seat because now it's just you and the stranger. Every move you make he sees, and if you move seats you'll get the glance. You know, the wide eyed kdrama type glance, kinda like Wtf? Did I do something? Did he move because I smell?

And as much as you want to scream, YES! OH MY GOD YES THATS EXACTLY IT!! You don't. You just look up and nod, give the stranger a smile, and glance back down at your phone taking the earbuds you have in your pockets and putting them on so that the man doesn't want to socialize or rape you or anything.

Well Jungkook was having exactly one of those moments, and was practically sweating trying to find a song in his pitiful playlist to play before the man next to him could try to strike up a conversation or steal one of his limbs. Jungkook sighed, seeing as Ed Sheeran's release of I'm A Mess was his last download and even though that song was amazing, it was released ages ago. He scrolled down further in the playlist before Jungkook gave up to do the one thing he swore he would never would.

You see, Jungkook had a little sister, and the two of them shared a family plan for Apple Music. Meaning, that they could see each other's playlist. Jungkook was desperate now, as the man sitting next to him smacked his lips together and lifted his eyes almost as if in slow motion to turn Jungkook's way. The guy looked ancient, with this beard that Jungkook swore he saw the crumbles of some animal crackers in - or that was dandruff. He really hoped it was crackers because the old man opened his mouth and out rolled this god awful pinkish grey tongue that just unfolded and grabbed a bit of the dandruff/crackers and like a lizard just shot it back in.

God Jisoo I'm going to kill you if this playlist fails me.

Jungkook presses play, and in flooded the music of the brainwashing atrocity which Jungkook was almost 92% positive was a government funded national vegetablization attempt called Kpop. But at least his headphones were now buzzing slightly with noise and hopefully the old man - let's call him Dan. For his hopefully not Dan-druff beard - would get the hint to politely "fuck off."

"Boy,"

God dammit.

This bus needs to stop. I need to run. Let me run. Dan is gonna eat me. I repeat. Dan the man, will actually, physically, eat me.

Jungkook looked down at his phone, a song called, "Running To You," by some group called 4'oclock was playing. Jungkook turned up the volume, not wanting to admit that he knew of the duo. Although it's hard not to when the two idols made up in it were plastered literally everywhere. Like y'all thought Wanna One was inescapable? Well ha ha to you silly readers, because 4'oclock was like unicorn vomit. All encompassing and unscrappable. Jungkook cringed at kpop like the next guy, but he had come to accept 4'oclock so that he wasn't in a full blown sesure every moment he breathed.

Dan coughed. It was awful, and smelled like carrots. Carrots. But not like fresh grocery carrots or just baked carrots, more like the carrot taste that comes after you swallow your grandmas famous pot pie to be a kind little grandson and then throw it up when you get home with your sister doing the same in the other bathroom. Real sibling bonding right there.

"Boy," He said again, "I know you can hear me. Boy-"

Fucking Dan. Dan who's not the man. Dan I'm not a fan. Dan the - okay so maybe Jungkook was running out of (an) words other than can.

"Boy!" Dan coughed again and Jungkook swore he saw something spill from his mouth and the old man just sucked it back in. So instead of seeing that again, he pressed pause on the 4'oclock song and slowly took the headphones out on by one trying not to focus on how his pulse was racing the way his legs wanted to.

"Um.." He says, his voice squeaking accidently, "Yes?"

"You gonna eat that?"

"My cliff bar?" Oh hell yes I was. Why the hell would I get a brownie cliff bar - the best cliff bar - and not eat it? What - am I gonna wear it for a hat to protect me from the all seeing eyes of God?

"Nope. You can have it."

"I'll trade you this card for it."

"I-I don't want your card."

"Take it."

"You can have the cliff bar - really"

"Take the card."

"I-"

"Take it."

"Okay okay I'll take it."

Dan chomped his little teeth before making a gummy smile, rubbing his hands together as he took out a card that was covered in a rather pretty pastel blue silk. It wrapped it completely and a skinny golden strand tied the fabric closed. It kinda screamed "Look man, normal people don't trade something like this for a cliff bar unless it's shady" but Dan didn't seem like he's exactly that....normal? Plus Jungkook just wanted the man to stop bothering him so he nodded, handed over the cliff bar with a slight apology to the snack, and then took the fabric covered piece of paper.

Finally the bus stopped, and Jungkook didn't bother to check exactly where it was that it stopped, before skidding his way off of the bus and away from Dan. He didn't even wait to watch the bus to drive off before walking into some restaurant - running to its bathroom - and throwing up. A lot.

Finally, sitting with his back to the floor, sweaty and panting, he unwrapped the fancy silk half hazardously. "You have to be fucking kidding me," Jungkook mutters under his breath. "Unicorn vomit." He laughed slightly like a psychopath - but the way you laugh before someone realizes that they are a psychopath. He shook his head, glaring down hard at the shiny trading card of famous 4'oclock member, Chim. Aka Park Jimin - Korea's Eternal Smile.

________

A/N - okay so funny story I was writing this on the plane on the way to Europe and now there is turbulence and it's like really bad. Te whole plane is shaking and going up and down and it feels like a rollercoaster. I'm not a roller coaster person. At all. I like water slides, love water slides actually. Very much. But not roller coasters. Anyway, I'm internally terrified. Everyone is sleeping rn and then there's just me wondering how that's possible when it feels like - well I won't finish that sentence because I'm a littlestitious

- Violette