Dear Dawson

Dear Dawson- 20

June 15. (THE AUTHORS BIRTHDAY IN THE FAKE TIMELINE)

Dear Dawson, I think everything is finally starting to go back to normal. I mean, we still aren't friends, but at least I'm friends with Conner.

He is really starting to grow on me, but I just can't stop being a little jealous of you and Amanda. It isn't even about you specifically anymore.

I just want someone like you have.

You have someone who loves you- no, who is in love with you. I thought that was impossible.

Love doesn't exist. It never has and it certainly never will.

It's just some fairytale to give little kids hope, a twinkle in their eye, but it's all fake, a simple lie made up by writers long ago.

Why would they put false hope in us? Do you know? I don't.

Maybe they were just way too optimistic.

Or maybe it was some sadistic plot to make everyone miserable when they finally realize it's all fake.

I don't know. Maybe it does exist and I'm just incapable of the feeling. Maybe everyone else except me is capable of such feelings and I'm just cold hearted.

Is that what it is, Dawson? Are you in love with anyone?

Maybe you're in love with Amanda.

I'm not so jealous anymore. I guess I just feel I deserved it. My feelings don't really matter much anymore because I barely have any.

I just feel numb.

And I'm kind of hoping Conner can make me feel again. I know i shouldn't depend on him for happiness, but I can't help it. I need something to depend on.

But I also know deep down he never will satisfy me.

And that sucks.

Love,
Kindley.

Authors Note: I totally recommend you listen to 5 Seconds of Summer's new album, "Youngblood." Honestly, it's so much better than their other albums. It's their best. The song above is called, "Lie To Me." I love it.

Anyways, leave me a comment because I am lonely and sad. Ask me something.

Or Kindley.

Or Dawson.

Or Conner.

Or whoever you want.

I have multiple personalities. K, bye, sorry.

-xkarlinx