Dear Dawson

Dear Dawson-3

May 2.

Dear Dawson, today has been terrible, and I wanted to talk to you about it. I couldn't, though, because all of your precious time is committed to Amanda.

I shouldn't despise that, but I do.

I shouldn't be upset that you're spending so much time with her, but I am.

I don't know if you know this, Dawson, but I feel so alone without you.

Mum came back home last night, and of course, you know how it is.

She's always wanted me to be the perfect daughter- you know the type. She wanted me to be the star cheerleader and date a football player.

Instead, I'm the one playing football, so needless to say, she's not happy with me. Maybe she shouldn't be at all. Maybe she's right, and I should apply makeup and cheerlead and wear short, skimpy dresses.

That doesn't feel right to me, though, it feels strange and uncomfortable. That isn't who I am.

I woke up this morning to her eagerly smiling at me with a huge bag of makeup and some white high waisted shorts and a matching white crop top. I instantly knew what she wanted to do, glam me up of course, and I wanted no part of it. She groaned in annoyance at me.

"God, you're such a tomboy!" she complained, but I didn't see why that was so bad. I liked the way I was, which is why I frowned when she continued to complain.

"You're never gonna catch any guys attention like this!" she screeched, pointing to my football jersey and dark skinny jeans. I scrunched my eyebrows at her, wondering why that's all she cared about. She's my mum, isn't she? She's supposed to care about grades and stuff, not my romantic life! We had a huge fight that morning before I headed off to school.

Once I got there, I instantly searched for you amongst the crowd of students, wanting to vent to you about her, but you were with Amanda again. I frowned sadly before deciding to just head to my next class.

I had no friends without you, which only made me feel even worse about myself, especially when Mum was home. She wasn't off work a lot, but when she was, it was miserable. It didn't feel like home. It didn't feel safe.

It feels like all she does is ridicule me, and without you there anymore, I feel even more separated and distant.

What do I do now, Dawson?

Oh, right, you're not here. You're across the classroom with Amanda, the golden girl.

Love,
Kindley.