Now or Take Home? {Billdip Fanfic}

Chapter 51

Dipper's heart almost went to his throat, literally. Due to the fast beating on his chest, it wasn't impossible. He couldn't help the heat creeping on his face and tears slowly appearing on his tearducts.

The other smiles at their hands. Lazily together yet both didn't bother to let go. He chuckled, "our hands are compatible." He jokes.

For Dipper? It wasn't near to a joke. He didn't meet Bill's heavy gaze on him. "Ye-yeah..." He silently agrees.

To change the subject, Dipper clears his throat. "You asked me earlier why I was curious, about the thing on your lips." He stated, not making eye contact.

Bill hums.

Dipper is hestitant to tell anyone this but seriously, why even get scared now when he's literally holding his crush's hand while eating? He let his eyes fall on Bill, "I like makeup?" He said, more like question.

"Oh, really? That's cool." Bill smiles, only happiness plastered on his face.

Which Dipper totally taken aback. He furrowed his brows together, confused, "you're not---"

"Nah." Bill chews a fry, "let me tell you about someone I was very close to. He is just like you, has this liking to makeups and all that." He paused, allowing that person's face appears his mind, "I was the first to know about this interest of his. At first, I was confused but I noticed how happy he is every time he talks about this kind of stuff. So, I let it be, I never questioned it. Slowly, he let's himself, free. Like, he wore dresses and skirts around me, comfortable enough around me and even wants me to call him, "Wynn." And I did." He ended.

Bill let's out a soft smile on Dipper, "it's fine to be feminine, I really don't mind as long you're comfortable with yourself." He stated.

Dipper was warmed by his words. However, in the back of his mind, he can't help but feeling he knows this "Wynn", he pursed his lips but quickly pushed the thought away, focusing to Bill now.

"Thanks, Bill." He whispers. He was glad that he thinks it's fine. "You're the first one to know about this." He said.

Bill laughs, "even Shooting Star has no idea about this?" The other nodded. "I must be so trusted then?" He teased.

"You are."

Bill stops.

"I really trust you, Bill." Dipper mutters, hesitantly squeezing his hand with Bill's.

Bill saw him. Bill saw Dipper like a rose with thorns. A beautiful flower yet so dangerous to touch. Yet here he is, holding his hand and feeling his sweet warmth through that physical connection.

Bill wants it. He really wants to embrace him. If he has to be really honest, rather than want, he needs him. His lip twitched. He has no other words running in his head than the words---

"You're beautiful, Mason." Embarrassingly enough, he even bites his tongue.

The atmosphere went heavy so quickly that both of them almost forgot that this was wrong. Though, Dipper thinks that. He can feel his lungs tighten and eyes to blur, he wasn't sure if it's because of his eyesight getting worse or that there were tears building up.

It was tears.

Bill panics, thinking that he shouldn't have said that. He stood up from his chair and kneels in front of him, now holding both of his shaking hands.

"Pine Tree---"

"I always thought I'm disgusting." Dipper whispered between clenched teeth, "eyes on me, as if I'm a walking shit. Hands on me, as if I'm just everyone's play toy. I still believe that I'm disgusting and that you said that just to prove something false but---" The sobs overcome his words.

Bill looks at him, pained, hurt, everything except happy. He always thought that school isn't good to Dipper these days, but he never thought it'll be this bad. He tightens his hold to Dipper. "Pine Tree..."

"How can you say such things? Despite me, being this weak."

Because I love you, Bill wants him to hear that. He wants him to enveloped him in a hug and whisper sweet nothings to his ear, drowning those toxic thoughts down until it's long forgotten. However, fear ate him first than his honesty.

Dipper cries, shaking shoulders and tight lungs. But he's relieved that Bill, out of anyone, is here with him to calm himself.

"Mason?"

Dipper looks at him, eyes puffy.

"Tell me what to do."

I want you to stay with me, kiss me, embrace me, just stay. His heart screams but none came out from his mouth.

Dipper let's go of the other's hands and slowly, he raised both of them on Bill's face. Cupping his head on those fragile and shaking hands, "just-just for to-today---" He breaths, "stay with me, please?" He requested.

Bill nodded, smiling at him. "Anything for you," my Pine Tree. He didn't includes that but he implies it internally.

Dipper places his hands on the back of Bill's neck and gathering enough courage, he slips down to the middle of Bill's legs and envelops him into a hug. His breathing became ragged, noticably shaking and unfocused. But he stays and puts his head on the crook of Bill's neck, secretly inhaling his scent.

Bill didn't move until he can feel that Dipper is still and used to the skin on him. He places both of his hands on the floor and let the other do what he wants.

"Bill?"

"Yeah?"

"Put your arms around me, you dumbass." It came out as a joke.

Bill smirks, "you sure?" He asked even though his arms are already encircled around his waist, pulling him closer.

He can hear Dipper yelps at the contact but continues, "y-yes."

"Pine Tree, I've been meaning to ask you."

"What?"

Bill rests his forhead on Dipper's shoulder, "celebrate New Year with me?" He whispered.

Dipper can feel his ears go hot, "o-oh.. sure, why not?" He answered.

He was answered back by a squeeze from his waist.

*=*

Ces: honestly, if i didnt stop this now there will be sex and my hands are not ready for that shit so ya'll get this bullshit.

Votes and comments are appreciated!

Words: 1636