Bad & British (Harry Styles)

Chapter 51

"Baby" he said and I flinched away.

"Don't call me that! Do you realize the affect you have on me? I don't like it Harry! I don't want to feel like this and I can't even tell you what feelings because not even I know!" I cried out loud, I could feel warm tears all over my face as I breathed deeply to calm my shortened breathing from tears.

I saw as he stood speechless, I just wiped my eyes and got inside my car, I couldn't stop my tears from frustration anymore, I just couldn't. I started the engine and drove off, I wanted to wake up and find myself in a world where I have never and never will meet Harry Styles, where I'm actually happy all the fucken time.

I grabbed my tote and ran to open the apartment door, tears still streaming down my face and to my disgrace Christine was in the living room watching a movie snuggled to her blankets.

"What happened?" she immediately stood up and went to my side, I couldn't talk, all the words were drained out with my swollen throat, all I did was throw my bag to the floor and sit on the floor against the wall, I cried into my hands and I felt Christine's hands patting my back which only made things worse.

"I-I'm scared" I mumbled.

"What?"

"I'm scared! I don't know what's wrong with me!" I said.

"Are you sick?"

"I wish," I sobbed loudly "I can't even explain it Chris, I can't even explain my feelings" I cried.

"Look, go get changed and take a nice warm shower, I'll make you some hot chocolate and you can tell me everything" Christine said gently, I just nodded as I tried to hold my breath to control my shaky breathing.

I took a nice warm shower which was all I needed to calm me down completely, I inhaled and exhaled every so often just to relax my body, and then after I was out I changed into some pajama shorts and a black shirt, I put my glasses on and brushed out my wet hair after slipping on some black ankle socks.

"You calm now?" Christine asked softly as she handed me a mug of warm hot chocolate.

"Yeah" I said lowly, I didn't want to talk about it, I knew the tears would come back but yet I sat down in the couch and told everything to Christine, from the first day I met Harry to tonight, I explained to her as much as I could my feelings that Harry caused but yet it wasn't enough. "I just don't want this Christine, I don't want to end up liking him and getting hurt" I cried.

I felt her skinny arms wrap around me, that's one thing I always loved about Christine, she treated me like her younger sister, I was the oldest and she was an only child so we were practically sisters to one another.

"I think it's best you try and keep avoiding him if you really think all he'll do is hurt you" Christine adviced.

"I tried that today, it all went more than well and then he showed up at my job and all this happened" I sighed.

I still haven't even told my mum about my dad and I do plan to but not for a couple days, I first want to let the idea sink in before I tell my mum and siblings.

"Maybe deep down he actually feels something for you as well if he cares so much" Christine suggested.

"No, because why else would he kiss Wendy in front of me if I truly meant something to him? I know I'm just a game to him and I fall like the dumbass I am!" I began to insult myself, I just wanted to forget this whole night ever happened and I knew more than well that it wasn't possible.

"Why didn't you come and tell me the minute I came back?" Christine asked hugging ever so tight.

"I never knew he'd have me crying, I never knew that his simple actions would do this to me" I swallowed back tears, I cried enough for tonight, I didn't want to cry anymore, I truly didn't. "I just want to go to sleep"