Forgotten Conscience (girlxgirl) (Book 1)

Revenge for Betrayal

He throws the same three punches as the girl did and again I dodge them easily but instead of ducking for a leg sweep I throw two connecting punches which send him to the floor. I straddle his hips and put my hand on his neck. I start to put my weight on his neck. I grind my hips into his as I watch him struggle to breathe.

What the hell am I doing? Stop! Don't, please don't.

I can't stop myself.

Someone stop me.

I pull back a clenched fist. I feel my lips move but I can't hear what I'm saying. I feel myself pull my arm forward but something stops me.

Oh thank god I'm having second thoughts.

I look behind me and someone's got me by the wrist. I look up at who it is, it's HER.

What the?

I try and get up off the floor but my arms buckle and I collapse.

Oh fuck.

"She's coming around."

Someone turns me over on my back.

He's-He's gonna kill me.

I cover my face in a vain attempt to shield myself.

"Please don't hurt me. I-I'm sorry I didn't mean to hurt her. I-I'm sorry."

"Hey I'm not gonna hurt you, it's okay, calm, calm down."

"What are you doing Wes? I thought you wanted her dead?"

He helps me up and I lean against my knees.

Fuck my head still hurts.

"It's okay. I-I believe you now."

"What-what made you change your mind?"

He walks over to that girl.

"There are records of memory loss in the slayer chronicles about slayers who have strayed from their path. The stories say that The Powers That Be stripped the chosen one of their memories so that they could see the error of their ways."

Slayer, what's a slayer?

"It also says they were prone to black outs."

"So... do you believe us?"

I wonder what it says about mind numbing headaches.

"Yes."

I look over at the guy who helped me.

Oh my god.

"You're bleeding! Oh my god someone, someone call a... call an ambulance. We-We've gotta help him!"

"Wait Faith, it's okay, he's a..."

Okay? He's dying.

"It's okay? He's, he's been shot. If we don't do something he'll..."

As I struggle to apply pressure my hands slip on the blood.

What happens if he dies? I'll be left with nothing, no one to protect me, no one who'll help me, no one to save me from... and no one to save me from myself. I have to... I have to...

I look down at my hands and they're covered in blood. I see someone lying on the ground through my hands. I focus more on who it is.

It's, it's that guy I stabbed, his blood. His blood is on my hands.

I look back at the guy on the floor.

It's changed to the guy who helped me. He, He's just another victim, another person who's died because of me.

I back away from him.

No! I can't, no, no more blood, no one else.

I back myself into a corner and close my eyes, but as I do I'm hit with a jumble of images.

Faces, people, places... none of them I recognize but... but something about them, some thing about them means something. As the jumble of images races through my head, I see their faces change. Cuts and bruises start to appear on their smiling faces, except their faces aren't smiling any more. They're afraid, why are they afraid? What did I... why did I do that to them? No, I-I don't... I don't want to know. I didn't, I'm, I'm not like that. I...

"No!"

Cordelia's POV

What's she doing?

"Wesley what's wrong with her?"

She's screaming like a banshee. Maybe she's gonna go all psycho and kill us.

"She must be having some sort of nightmare."

"Nightmare? Wesley she's wide awake."

I run over to her.

Maybe I can get her to calm down.

"Yes I'm well aware of that Cordelia, but what you have to remember is that there's a battle going on inside her."

I get close enough to her and start shushing her like my mother used to do when I used to throw a hissy fit.

I don't know, what the hell else can I do?

Her screaming slowly gets softer and she stops flailing about like spazilla.

"Her memories are all coming back to her at once..."

"But why the fuck is she all spazed out and shit?"

"Cordy, it's like fighting a whirlpool, everything's coming back but everything is coming back all mixed up..."

She passes out.

It must be too much for her.

"She may remember torturing someone, but instead of remembering just anyone she may remember it being a family member. Can you understand what that must be like?"

"How the fuck would I know how it feels? I'm not a slayer. I'm just an insignificant little spec to them. The Powers That Be don't even know I exist."

"Cordelia."

I look over and Angel is walking up.